How do I attract better looking women?

[Sports Fan]

I think it's fairly reasonable for a young woman to want a young guy. Not so sure about an average guy looking for an eastern european model type. But if you see a parallel, so be it.

 

 

But he said replacing creepy guys with cute guys. So yes, it is similar in a way.

[savignon]

My husband and I are going for a spa getaway for our anniversary and they asked us if we wanted male or female massuers (is that a word?). My husband said "I want a Russian girl!". I laughed and said, "I don't think you can be *that* specific, dear". Likewise, I think it's a crack up that the OP thinks that with average looks, he can order a supermodel from Eastern Europe while not offering the same aestetically. At least the "average girl" is being spared this kind of guy!!

[thathoopla]

I have noticed that I am not able to upgrade. Most of my girlfriends fall in the average category. They are ok looking but I am not satisfied with them. The last girl who flirted with me was average as well. The girls who flirt with me mostly have less than average body and smaller boobs.

 

So how do I upgrade? How do I attract better looking women? Women who are absolute knockouts??? For once, I want to date a girl who looks like an eastern european model.

 

Go up to them and ask them out?

[bulletproof]

But he said replacing creepy guys with cute guys. So yes, it is similar in a way.

 

He said creepy older guys. So the parallel would be average girls (which the o.p. attracts now)=creepy older guys. Not really. The second parallel would be cute young guys=eastern european model type. Also not very similar.

 

Besides, his complaint is nothing more than thread hijacking anyway.

[Sports Fan]

My husband and I are going for a spa getaway for our anniversary and they asked us if we wanted male or female massuers (is that a word?). My husband said "I want a Russian girl!". I laughed and said, "I don't think you can be *that* specific, dear". Likewise, I think it's a crack up that the OP thinks that with average looks, he can order a supermodel from Eastern Europe while not offering the same aestetically. At least the "average girl" is being spared this kind of guy!!

 

 

Let him think what he wants. Maybe he'll wake up and realize that it doesn't work that way.

[Sports Fan]

He said creepy older guys. So the parallel would be average girls (which the o.p. attracts now)=creepy older guys. Not really. The second parallel would be cute young guys=eastern european model type. Also not very similar.

 

Besides, his complaint is nothing more than thread hijacking anyway.

 

 

"Creepy old guys are hitting on me, I want cute young guys!"

 

 

versus

 

 

"How do I attract better looking women?"

 

 

They are similar. Both are making it clear that they are not satisfied with average looking ones and want more attractive ones. The only difference is the female is better at hiding the shallowness as she refers to the average looking guy as creepy.

[Blue Spiral]

Besides, his complaint is nothing more than thread hijacking anyway.

 

Excuse me?

 

To be clear: women tend to attract older men that they probably aren't interested in. Men tend to attract average-looking women that they probably aren't interested in. I'm not talking about supermodels, I'm talking about the "common" high end of the spectrum, not the truly unobtainable one.

[geekgirl4]

Errr, with your personality shining so pleasantly through this thread... never. Unless you're pooping money as a poster stated earlier XD

[Fudgie]

I don't think the "how do I attract people my own age" is the same as "how do I attract beautiful people".

 

The women who ask about the older men probably don't feel comfortable dating the older ones and genuinely don't want a relationship with them based on factors like compatibility, practicality, etc. The OP here just wants pretty-looking woman purely for visual appeal...he did not mention personality.

[Blue Spiral]

I don't think the "how do I attract people my own age" is the same as "how do I attract beautiful people".

 

OK, please fill in the blank on the second sentence for me:

 

"Yes, it's acceptable for women to complain about creepy older men hitting on them."

 

"Yes, it's acceptable for men to complain about ____________________"

 

Not creepy older women hitting on them; that doesn't really happen. I'm curious as to what the commonplace equivalent for men is. The only thing I can think of is "attracting women they aren't attracted to."

[LightbulbSun]

Maybe trying not being so shallow yourself?

[Fudgie]

OK, please fill in the blank on the second sentence for me:

 

"Yes, it's acceptable for women to complain about creepy older men hitting on them."

 

"Yes, it's acceptable for men to complain about ____________________"

 

Not creepy older women hitting on them; that doesn't really happen. I'm curious as to what the commonplace equivalent for men is. The only thing I can think of is "attracting women they aren't attracted to."

 

Well, I think it boils down to the reasons WHY they aren't attracted.

 

(mind you, this is sort of difficult to answer because I'm dating an older man in his 50s so this doesn't apply to me)

 

The OP is complaining here because he's attracting girls that aren't appealing on a visual level. It's very superficial.

 

However, there are reasons why girls may not want to date older men...and looks often times have nothing to do with it! They may want to date someone more on their "level", compatibility issues, practicality issues, want that element "mutual discovery"...etc. If you combine all these factors, they really CAN'T date older men in their minds. It's just NOT an option. So they are looking for ways to attract men that they can actually date.

 

The OP can date the women he attracts just fine. He just wants the prettier.

[Blue Spiral]

So you basically admit there's a double-standard, where women can complain about a common problem they experience, but men can't? Women should be outraged, but men should shut up and settle?

[Fudgie]

I don't think there's a "double standard" at all. I just think the two situations are totally different. hear me out...

 

If women were complaining "How do I attract more handsome men" I'd have the same reaction - stop being superficial. That is what is going on here.

 

Not wanting older men is VERY different from not wanting unattractive men. I can understand the not wanting older men because of the variety of personal factors that have NOTHING to do with looks.

 

But if a woman complains about "getting all the ugly men and where are all the handsome men" I'm going to say the same thing that I said to the OP: look better, get more money, or stop being shallow.

[newwave]

While this is probably a joke, I've seen these types of guys on dating sites. These guys are average at best (homely more often) with moderate jobs yet have believed the theory that even mediocore guys deserve better than average girls. Sorry but that doesn't happen often. Then these guys wonder why they are 40+ and still single.

[Sparkly Eyes]

OK, please fill in the blank on the second sentence for me:

 

"Yes, it's acceptable for women to complain about creepy older men hitting on them."

 

"Yes, it's acceptable for men to complain about fat ugly women (or creepy old women) hitting on him provided he is not fat and ugly himself"

 

Not creepy older women hitting on them; that doesn't really happen. I'm curious as to what the commonplace equivalent for men is. The only thing I can think of is "attracting women they aren't attracted to."

 

You got your equivalent. Isn't it just obvious? bulletproof put it very well.

 

 

So you basically admit there's a double-standard, where women can complain about a common problem they experience, but men can't? Women should be outraged, but men should shut up and settle?

 

So are you saying an average young girl is as bad as a creepy old guy? Do you just bang supermodels then (because I think it would be gross for you to have sex with an average girl)?

[Fudgie]

I just still don't understand how a girl NOT wanting to date an older man, who may not be right for her in ways other than physical looks, is somehow just as superficial as the OP complaining about not finding attractive-enough girls (purely a physical thing here).

 

I just don't think you can compare the two situations.

[Blue Spiral]

I was going to stay out of this thread from here on out, but since you ask...

 

You got your equivalent. Isn't it just obvious? bulletproof put it very well.

 

I'd love to see that equivalent in action, because I have a feeling the guy would get jumped on if he complained about that. (And let me note, both genders have to deal with unfair double-standards. I'm just ticked about this one, today.)

 

 

So are you saying an average young girl is as bad as a creepy old guy? Do you just bang supermodels then (because I think it would be gross for you to have sex with an average girl)?

 

My flippant answer to your question is "Lord knows I try." My serious answer is no, as I know that I have to stay realistic. But that doesn't mean I have to settle, either. Whenever I go out in public, I see extraordinarily hot women with idiotic-looking guys (there's a website devoted to this phenomenon, but I think part of the title would get asteriked out), so please don't say "You don't have to settle, you just have to stay in your league, except there aren't any leagues, wink."

 

And how are we defining average here? If by "average" you mean "someone you're not attracted to," then yeah, I think it's pretty unfair--and gross--to be with someone you have no chemistry with.

[Fudgie]

Blue Spiral,

 

I agree...I don't think anyone should have to settle.

 

However, when it comes to physical looks ALONE, I think some people (*cough* OP *cough*) need to realize that it's shallow just to be turning down people because they aren't above average or bombshells.

 

Women who turn down older men do it because of other reasons that often aren't shallow at all. So you can't compare the two.

[randomgirl59]

I just still don't understand how a girl NOT wanting to date an older man, who may not be right for her in ways other than physical looks, is somehow just as superficial as the OP complaining about not finding attractive-enough girls (purely a physical thing here).

 

I just don't think you can compare the two situations.

 

You cant. He seems to think that men should be allowed to have as many requirements they want, but the moment a woman has any, she's a shallow harpie. He's just trying to justify it by making it sound that men are the only ones criticized for shallowness, which is ridiculous.

 

I know a lot of people aren't going to like what I have to say but so be it. In this society men are raised with a sense of entitlement. They are taught that they can have whatever they want, including women (a human being for crying out loud) Now while a lot of men actually grow up and realize that this isn't reality and that no one is guaranteed or owed anything, there still remains a large group that does. Its painfully obvious on this forum.

 

Now when women start to date with the same mentality, you have people who cry about what a b**** she is. When an overweight woman says she has a particular type, or has specific standards, she is told she has no choice in the matter because she's fat and should take what she can get, regardless of if she is attracted to the person or not. The whole argument that men aren't allowed to be shallow but women are is ridiculous. Any woman who would make a post like this saying she wanted rich, muscular and gorgeous men would get the same outcry. It really goes both ways, but in my personal opinion and based on what I've observed both in real life and ENA, this attitude of "I deserve the best looking partner regardless of my own appearance" is a bit more common among men than it is women. Yet when women adapt that same attitude, she is criticized. How is that fair?

[Sports Fan]

Women have just as much of an entitlement issue. It's not limited to either gender. It's a generation thing.

[thathoopla]

Are we here to judge the OP, or help him out with whatever he wants? He wants hotter women, I don't see anything wrong with that! He's not satisfied with what he has so if he wants advice on how to reach for more, then let's give it to him, or refrain from all this judgment of his character. People come here for advice, not to be bashed.

[Fudgie]

Ohh ok. I gotcha.

 

It isn't fair at all.

I have noticed that men do seem to expect a bit more. you're totally right about the "fat girl" settling. Goes for men too. My bf is overweight and he has been told to "settle"...not really in terms of looks but just to the point of "TAKE WHOEVER IS WILLING" I think that's sad. No one should feel that they should just "take whatever" because of how they look. No one will be happy that way.

 

I think members of BOTH sexes need to not be superficial. Yes, attraction is important but if you're a guy, don't expect a A. Jolie and if you're a girl, don't expect a B. Pitt. It goes for both sex. Normal people don't look like porn stars and healthy relationships aren't built upon looks.

 

OP - find a girl that makes you happy and you jive with. If you're giving up totally fine relationships just because the girl isn't a 10, then you have a problem and you're shallow.

[Blue Spiral]

You cant. He seems to think that men should be allowed to have as many requirements they want, but the moment a woman has any, she's a shallow harpie.

 

That isn't actually true. I only have two requirements: one is that I'd rather not have her be a pyromaniac or serial killer or something like that, though I'm willing to make exceptions. I'll let you guess the other one.

 

I'd never ask a woman how much money she makes, or what kind of...um...what's the term...relationship she has with her family, or her "feelings" on certain issues, etc. I am remarkably easygoing.

[Fudgie]

BTW, I have done what Cognitive did and I thumbed through his (the OP) other posts here. You can do it for yourself if you wish. I would not have been as harsh upon him as I have if I had not seen his posts.

He's pretty harsh on woman and seems like a class A tool. The guy's got problems. If he seemed kinder toward women and didn't act like they were pieces of meat, I'd would have thought he was just trying to find people more suitable for him. but knowing what I know, it sounds like he's just looking for some nice piece of butt and that's the bottom line.

 

sorry for the pun.