Batya33 Posted July 18, 2010 Share Posted July 18, 2010 I only plan to be married once - I got married when I was 42 (so was my husband, both our first marriages). I am not a particularly religious person but I am spiritual and take marriage very seriously as I'm sure most people do. But I never, ever, thought it was my "right" to have a nice wedding - I assume you're referring to the party, not the ceremony - as in some kind of large or grand party. It really surprised me to see that at the end of your post - I've never heard of someone believing it was her/his "right" to have a big party to celebrate wedding vows. I believed it was a true blessing to find someone I wanted to marry who wanted to marry me - because, well, it is. The rest - being able to wear a pretty dress and shoes, a pretty veil (borrowed from a divorced woman, actually), and have a delicious lunch and wedding cake with 10 people who are close to us - was wonderful but not my right either - also a privilege. My suggestion is to try to choose that mindset as much as possible rather than "it's my right" because I think you are getting in your own way here, and I too was single in my late 30s so I can relate to the difficulty of finding a suitable partner. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
newwave Posted July 18, 2010 Author Share Posted July 18, 2010 Why do you hate divorced men with children so much? This goes far beyond your Catholic "morals" because you speak of them vehemently, with deep hatred. I don't hate them, I just would never date these guys. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Saffron_ Posted July 18, 2010 Share Posted July 18, 2010 I think you're using your religion to enable you to look down on those you consider to be beneath you. That is not what religion is for. Religion...any religion....is fundamentally about acceptance, forgiveness and living a good life. Your attitude towards those you claim your religion prevents you from associating with is disgusting to me. You are not someone that I would ever consider as girlfriend or marriage material because you come accross as cold, heartless and mean. And I know that the Catholic religion does not encourage those kinds of personality traits. If you feel attacked by this post I'm sorry.....but many others must also feel attacked and wounded by your posts. Agreed. I get the distinct feeling you may be using religion to justify their own prejudices. People here can accept that your faith dictates certain things. They can. But what they can't abide by is the intolerance and downright cruelty which you try to justify. Newwave, do you feel that people here are beneath you? We're not all catwalk models or city bankers or perfect 10's or perfect people!!....Though I do come pretty close (kidding!) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crazyaboutdogs Posted July 18, 2010 Share Posted July 18, 2010 Not in that case, like I said there are exceptions. However, I would try to get an annulment. Sure, there are great guys who are divorced, but I don't want most of them. Most are other women's rejects. If I want to buy a new car, I don't want someone's used junk pile. Same thing. Now if the marriage was short and annulled that's another story. A guy with kids would NEVER be a good guy for me. Anybody who has had more than one relationship, be it marriage, living together or just a long term relationship, can be some other person's rejects. Sometimes a person rejects someone who is gold in order to be with someone who is not a very good person...I would gladly take that reject! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jenny_mcs Posted July 18, 2010 Share Posted July 18, 2010 Not in that case, like I said there are exceptions. However, I would try to get an annulment. Sure, there are great guys who are divorced, but I don't want most of them. Most are other women's rejects. If I want to buy a new car, I don't want someone's used junk pile. Same thing. Now if the marriage was short and annulled that's another story. A guy with kids would NEVER be a good guy for me. I think you should go talk to your priest. If your religion is so important to you, why in the world are you referring to other people as used up pieces of junk? It doesn't make sense to me. It's fine to have things you want in a spouse, but I think your anger and the mean way you refer to others makes you not likely to find a husband. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BriarRose Posted July 18, 2010 Share Posted July 18, 2010 I'm trying real hard, as a Christian, to understand how you can view a human being who happened to have the misfortune of a failed marriage as part of a "used junk pile" (to use your expression). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sparkly Eyes Posted July 18, 2010 Share Posted July 18, 2010 It's fine to have things you want in a spouse, but I think your anger and the mean way you refer to others makes you not likely to find a husband. Yep, I assure you that most people would run for their life and never look back once they hear these views. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Saffron_ Posted July 18, 2010 Share Posted July 18, 2010 Newwave I don't intend this to sound cruel but I'm gonna say this to make a point. Imagine if prospective guys sized you up and discarded you as a potential partner in the same way you do with them. For example they may see you and think: Hmmm...Newwave Pushing 40 Unemployed Judgemental Too demanding Too religious Been around the block too many times Stubborn Mean Not enough earning potential Not attractive enough Only looking to get pregnant If we did have kids, she wouldn't breastfeed NO THANKS! Sorry for how that sounds but that's you've described many men (and women) in the hurtful way some guy may be describing you. If some guy did view you like that, he wouldn't be much of a catch, and since you view men in the same manner, you might not be as much of a catch as you think you are. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
newwave Posted July 18, 2010 Author Share Posted July 18, 2010 I am attractive, and as for unemployed, the economy is bad. I will get another job soon. So what if I wouldn't breastfeed? Who knows if I'll get pregnant or not either? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HeartGoesOn Posted July 18, 2010 Share Posted July 18, 2010 This thread has run its course. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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