jennb0benn Posted July 18, 2010 Share Posted July 18, 2010 I saw my ex's profile for the first time in awhile and apparently he's moved on with someone else. Ouch! My heart instantly sank into my stomach when I saw it. It's only been two months since the break-up (after 2 years). And on the day we broke up, he was fixated/ in love with me. A lot of stuff went down afterward though to make him cold towards me..for those who don't know. It's his life, it shouldn't matter to me. But it matters for this moment because like a person who was truly in love, I'm going to care even in his absence... Do I hate him? No. But I don't respect him. I post this thread to reaffirm that Facebook is indeed evil. Just when you think you're indifferent...... On a positive note, surprisingly I didn't cry and that sinking feeling/ anxiety is already gone. Hope you guys are having a great night. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thissuckss Posted July 18, 2010 Share Posted July 18, 2010 its nice to see that you are taking it so well, i just recently blocked my ex and all her friends from my facebook, just something i dont want to see. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stay_home Posted July 18, 2010 Share Posted July 18, 2010 Facebook is good as long as you keep your relationship off of there. At the most, post some nice pictures and write a few silly status messages and call it a day. I have over 600+ friends and the majority of them spend half the day on there posting absolute garbage. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carus Posted July 18, 2010 Share Posted July 18, 2010 Facebook is also a false reality....People dont post pictures of themselves having an argument, paying bills or the day to day grind that kicks back in after the Honeymoon Stage has worn off..... I still wouldnt go looking at it though...Just stick a fork in your eye. It hurts less and heals quicker..* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
odile Posted July 19, 2010 Share Posted July 19, 2010 I didn't cry and that sinking feeling/ anxiety is already gone. There you go. Isn't it good to know that you're moving on? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jennb0benn Posted July 19, 2010 Author Share Posted July 19, 2010 There you go. Isn't it good to know that you're moving on? Yeah, I guess it but it's still a hit to my self-esteem (Even though she's a downgrade imo), pride, and trust. The picture of both of them was taken on his graduation that he didn't want me going to, that was the day after we broke up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
odile Posted July 19, 2010 Share Posted July 19, 2010 Yeah, I guess it but it's still a hit to my self-esteem (Even though she's a downgrade imo), pride, and trust. The picture of both of them was taken on his graduation that he didn't want me going to, that was the day after we broke up. Well, it's not too surprising that he didn't want to have you at his graduation fresh after breaking up. As far as trust goes, there's nothing to indicate any truly shady dealings here. As far as we can tell, he did break up with you before trying to date anyone else. So even if it hurts to see him with another girl, it doesn't sound like he wasn't trustworthy. Even if it seems like he moved on rather quickly, there's no telling whether they're just friends, or if they are dating, whether he's genuinely serious about her, or if she's a rebound. You're best off not trying to draw comparisons between her/you, because what you see as a downgrade might simply be a better fit for him right now. This has nothing to do with you, and everything to do with him. He stayed with you for two years, and regardless of what he does now, that fact won't change. No matter what: the person you are, and all that you have to offer is in no way contingent on whether or not this guy is compatible with you any longer. It doesn't sound worth your time to worry too much about him, anyway, because it's onward and upward for you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HeartGoesOn Posted July 19, 2010 Share Posted July 19, 2010 All to often Facebook is used as a diary, and a weapon for an ex to read. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jennb0benn Posted July 19, 2010 Author Share Posted July 19, 2010 As far as trust goes, there's nothing to indicate any truly shady dealings here. As far as we can tell, he did break up with you before trying to date anyone else. So even if it hurts to see him with another girl, it doesn't sound like he wasn't trustworthy. Well, we were in love on the day that we broke up. He was more in love and confident with me, than me with him. The break-up was abrupt and over something stupid. So it makes me wonder how he is already involved with the girl he graduated with. His Facebook also has some flirtatious comments from her on the day after we we broke up. So it seems to me, after our on and off last few months, he finally broke it off because he had a soft landing -> her. He had to have developed some interest in her during the last moment of our relationship, which hurts because I'm extremely faithful emotionally and he expected the same from me. And the other reason I have more trust problems is because he had promised me from the very beginning that if we ever broke up, it would be done in a civil way. The opposite happened on his end. I made my mistakes, too but I had tried to give out a civil goodbye at least. This has nothing to do with you, and everything to do with him. . I'm trying to tell myself that....and that I should just focus on me.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hell_On_Heels Posted July 19, 2010 Share Posted July 19, 2010 I think breakups are civil when the people involved really know that there isn't another option. They may hate that, heaven knows they are hurting over it - but they know they've done all they could, and it just didn't work. I notice that the emotional breakups usually involve some shady behavior on the part of the dumper, or the dumper knows if they alter their behavior a bit, the relationship would work but they just don't want to change. He might have already had a soft landing with her, as you say. I think my ex preferred to start over with someone new (getting the high we all feel at the beginning of a relationship). He preferred taht to showing me some affection or love. Some people just don't have the skills or the ability to continue in a relationship. I don't know if your ex is like this or not...but maybe he wanted to have the easy way out (a new girl who was already flirting with him) than to work on things with you. If that's true, then you deserve so much more than what he could offer you. So do I. It's danged hard to focus on us and to realize it wasn't us. I'm to the point I need it tattooed on my arm or something. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ForeverYours Posted July 21, 2010 Share Posted July 21, 2010 Ugh I agree facebook is somewhat evil. A while back I saw party pics of my ex, and long story short I cried afterwards. Needed to de-friend a lot of people after that Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jennb0benn Posted July 21, 2010 Author Share Posted July 21, 2010 Ugh I agree facebook is somewhat evil. A while back I saw party pics of my ex, and long story short I cried afterwards. Needed to de-friend a lot of people after that I'm sorry about that It does suck big time to see their profile like that... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ev1782 Posted July 21, 2010 Share Posted July 21, 2010 sigh,, facebook is HORRIBLE for relationships,,, Im staying away from it in my next relationship... But hey, it gets easier and easier,, just keep on healing. Time is a great Doctor. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tezza Posted July 21, 2010 Share Posted July 21, 2010 Block him. Out of sight, out of mind. Yes. I agree with others on here. People will only put their best face on FB. So behind those happy party pics and family moments, it might be something totally different, you just don't know. Personally, I take anything posted on FB with a grain of salt. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ev1782 Posted July 21, 2010 Share Posted July 21, 2010 Block him. Out of sight, out of mind. Yes. I agree with others on here. People will only put their best face on FB. So behind those happy party pics and family moments, it might be something totally different, you just don't know. Personally, I take anything posted on FB with a grain of salt. You know thats so true,, even when i was DYING inside,,, i would, ofcourse, only post up pics and vids of me having the TIME of my LIFE! lol it means nothing! even when i was having problem with the EX no one would have even thought it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.