I don't know how to give this some direction...

[lostgirlaus]

I've known this guy for about a year and a half, we used meet up last year and pretty much just sit around talking and make out. He had mentioned to me that he wasn't looking for a relationship, and I was fine with that then. We stopped seeing each other a year ago, and we went our separate ways.

 

I recently broke up with my boyfriend and he suggested meeting up since we hadn't seen each other in over a year and I agreed. We met up yesterday, sat around talking for hours, we did kiss, but it wasn't like before where we were constantly "making out". We also ducked into a toilet on the way home, and things got a bit heated.

 

I know he likes me, and he knows I like him. He also told me last night he thought I was "hot". We get along really well, I'm not usually a talker, but with him I am. I was the happiest I've been in a long time yesterday.

 

My problem is, I have no idea if he wants a relationship, or see's me just as a "booty call". He's not just after sex, because he understands my limits and respects them. I don't want to have the "so where are we heading" talk with him. We have a pretty big age gap, but that never seems to matter when we are together. We are seeing each other again next week to go to the movies. How to I figure out what he wants?

[lana111]

i thinks its always best to just ask. i know its hard, but its accurate.

[lostgirlaus]

i thinks its always best to just ask. i know its hard, but its accurate.

 

So I should just sit him down and ask him? How long should I wait? I don't want to do it just yet... I'm also scared of jeopardizing our friendship.

[lana111]

ive been in the same boat. wanting to ask, but not wanting to ask bc you dont want to say things that cant be unsaid.

 

personally, in this type of situation, i give it time. time will tell you what he is in this for. ive posted here about similar stuff and each time i come back saying... thx for all the advice but it worked itself out on its own. give it time and dont do anything you dont feel comfortabel doing. it will fall into place, one way or another.

[lostgirlaus]

ive been in the same boat. wanting to ask, but not wanting to ask bc you dont want to say things that cant be unsaid.

 

personally, in this type of situation, i give it time. time will tell you what he is in this for. ive posted here about similar stuff and each time i come back saying... thx for all the advice but it worked itself out on its own. give it time and dont do anything you dont feel comfortabel doing. it will fall into place, one way or another.

 

Ok thanks

[oldenoughtoknow]

So I should just sit him down and ask him? How long should I wait? I don't want to do it just yet... I'm also scared of jeopardizing our friendship.

 

Friendship? You met him a year and a half ago and you went your separate ways a year ago. I don't see a big potential loss on this issue. Pretty big age gap, uh, how old are both of you?

 

I wouldn't sit him down just yet, you just re-met yesterday. But I would fairly soon, like within the next few dates. Ask him something non-direct, like if he still has the same thoughts about being in a relationship. He should know what you're asking about, but shouldn't feel overly threatened. Then see where he goes with it. In the mean time, just be patient and keep your eyes open.

[lostgirlaus]

Friendship? You met him a year and a half ago and you went your separate ways a year ago. I don't see a big potential loss on this issue. Pretty big age gap, uh, how old are both of you?

 

I wouldn't sit him down just yet, you just re-met yesterday. But I would fairly soon, like within the next few dates. Ask him something non-direct, like if he still has the same thoughts about being in a relationship. He should know what you're asking about, but shouldn't feel overly threatened. Then see where he goes with it. In the mean time, just be patient and keep your eyes open.

 

Yeah I know, it doesn't seem like a potential loss, but he's a great guy and I really missed him in that one year, even while I was with my boyfriend. I'm 18 and he's 29. I'm planning on having a casual talk with him in a few weeks, just asking him where we both stand.

[pinkelephant]

i think he just wants a booty call... but it wouldn't hurt to ask.

[oldenoughtoknow]

That's a pretty big age gap, especially given your young age. Still, I don't think the average 29 year old guy would waste his time, waiting and dealing with your limits, if he were only after a booty call.

 

You only just re-met up with him. I would give it a few weeks, see what happens, see how he treats you and if he continues to be respectful of your limits. He may well be a good guy who really likes you. Just keep your eyes open, and ask something like the indirect question I mentioned a few weeks from now.

[lostgirlaus]

That's a pretty big age gap, especially given your young age. Still, I don't think the average 29 year old guy would waste his time, waiting and dealing with your limits, if he were only after a booty call.

 

You only just re-met up with him. I would give it a few weeks, see what happens, see how he treats you and if he continues to be respectful of your limits. He may well be a good guy who really likes you. Just keep your eyes open, and ask something like the indirect question I mentioned a few weeks from now.

 

Well these are my exact thoughts, it's an 11 year age gap, but I've been told many times and I also like to think myself that I am mature. Also he isn't the type of guy to go after young girls just because they are naive. If he just wanted sex he could go out and get it from where ever, he wouldn't waste his time just hanging around with me when he isn't sure that he will or won't get any action.

 

I'm thinking I'll tell him in a few weeks, at the moment I'm just going to go with the flow and see what happens. Thanks