Dating after a break up...

[mumto2]

I have been single for over a year. I was in an abusive relationship for 3 years prior. I had counselling and have been feeling more positive about myself since.

 

I joined a dating website and got chatting to a guy. We have lots in common and he seems genuine. We talked about his family, that he lost his mum to cancer, his job, everything. I thought he was nice so we met on Sunday (last) and spent the day together just getting to know one another. It was great, I didn't want him to go.

 

But now I'm wondering what I want. We haven't approached the subject of sex, but I have lost my libido and feel very self conscious of my body as I have recently (March) had a baby by c section so I'm not as slim as I used to be. I'm really worried about what he'll think of me if we get to that.

 

Am I making excuses for myself to avoid getting close to someone again or what?!

 

After what I went through with my ex, and having a baby, I don't know if this new guy would be willing to wait for me to be ready. I must still be hurting to feel this way, right?

 

 

[kaligrl22]

Hi there,

 

Have you thought about perhaps waiting a bit longer before dating again? I only say that because you literally just had a baby.

[Cheetarah]

Maybe it's just not time yet. I mean, those are some big life changes. Leaving an abusive relationship, having a baby(congratulations on your lil' one). It's ok not to feel quite ready yet. You've got your hands full with newness still.

 

It is unrealistic though, to expect someone to wait for you when you're not quite ready. That's a personal choice for him to make - but if you know, do make him aware of that so as to not string him along incase he is looking for something more serious(needn't get into details).

[mumto2]

I'm just scared I will be on my own for the rest of my life. I don't want to feel like I can't move on from what happened to me. If I don't try how will I ever know?

 

I'm mostly scared of being in another abusive relationship again. I don't think I could cope if it was.

 

I have been honest with him and explained my past (not in great detail though) so he is aware how i'm feeling. He seems to be quite patient. But I wouldn't string him along.