Pall Wall Posted July 11, 2010 Share Posted July 11, 2010 Anger dreams for me are more tormenting than scary nightmares. EVery now and then, I have dreams of people who wronged me back in middle school and high school, over 10 years ago. But now, more than ever I've never felt more tormented with anger after waking up from a dream. This morning it was of this preppy bastard who I did NOTHING to in school, NOTHING. I knew what kind of guy he was, the type of bastard to break up with girls after he's slept with them, break their hearts. He liked to be duragatory to me believing I was gay/ He was with his preppy friends near by the doorway to the Art room where my class was. I realized he was there, and I knew I needed to just get in there as not be seen, but as I opened the door, I felt (without seeing his face directly) that he turned his direction on me, and called said, "Hey q****," and without looking him in the eye I just said back "F*** you" and all to him as I went inside my art room and that was it. I look back on that and regret saying something back because I should have ignored him, not give him the satisfaction, and made him think I I didn't know he was saying that to him, like he shot and missed. I'm not the only one who's tormented, he made a Colombine threat on a girl before Senior Prom. He was the definition for "elitist." But to this day, when I still think of that memory, it pains me, it burned into me. I learned a couple of years later from someone who knew of him, and said that he was just an angry "scared" kid. I also got satisfaction to learned he was busted for engaging with a $50 dollar hooker that was ugly as crap. But years later leading to this year, it enraged me to see him facebook and add my life long best friend Erik. I called up Erik and told him that it bothered me about him adding that jerk, and told him why. 1. Erik never knew about that. And 2. Erik told me he randomly just adds people on facebook, even people he doesn't know. So Erik understood and said he'd remove that dipstick. But seeing that piece of sh*t's picture, his facebook picture. I can see it he hasn't changed. I know a "my sh*t don't stink" demeanor when I see it and it see his ugly face after all this time makes me sick. He's a jerk that still paints this "I'm pimp player with the ladies" portrait of himself. His pic gallery the way he's being a show-off with a different girl after another like "Yeah I'm the man, I've tapped this." I can just feel it that he saw me again, such as my work place, he'd verbally humiliate me in front of my staff, and after my staff would ask him to leave, he'd walk out with a smile on his face, I know he would. It was months ago that I'd seen his profile. After this morning where a good majority of my dream time, he just happens to be there, still giving me a hard time. I've felt bitter all day, feeling this urge to wanna go out and actually kill him, which I will admit, I WANT TO KILL HIM. I want to confront him with a beer bottle, shatter it, and slit his throat with it with one swipe. But I' not gonna actually do it So don't worry. Erik had said "Let bygones be bygones" as in put in the past. But I cannot erase that memory of that scumbag, and I refuse to let go of the hate towards him. Knowing that he's still walking around, being another user of women, thinking he's better than everyone. Lately it's like he's mentally in my head hanging around me like Brad Pitt does with Edward Norton in the last 10 minutes of Fight Club. Throwing judgement at me with everything I do. Echoing in my head, putting me down. Am I losing it, losing control? Is my peaceful temperament on the brink of shattering completely beyond the point of no return? What do these anger dreams mean? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xylitol Posted July 11, 2010 Share Posted July 11, 2010 Learning to stand above negativity involves letting go instead of bottling up all your anger, you need to re-direct the anger into doing something positive, like drawing, making art. Its basically energy that you could also invest into doing constructive things. You need to establish border lines of things that involve your life and things that have got nothing to do with your life. There are many bad people, in the end you'll notice that they come and go as time passes by, in other words they aren't worth it to give them the emotional attachment and value that you are giving them now (especially if negative) these people will go away as time passes, so you have nothing to worry about. You might not be able to control them, however you can decide which people you DO want in your life, and which people you DONT want in your life. So instead of getting angry, say to yourself 'these people aren't worthy of my attention' You know that these people are just stupid, so its even more stupid to let yourself be bothered by it, instead of incassating the emotional blows that these people deal out, you need to stop bottling up and immediately say whats wrong with these people. That way you'll release your steam, and hopefully that person will get the hint and change their lives for a better as well. You don't have to accept it, you can DO ,by going to these people and complain and immediately releasing your emotional stress that way, otherwhise your brain is going to bottle up the experiences, and in its unability to solve the problem you will get nightmares because doing nothing is not a solution. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catfeeder Posted July 11, 2010 Share Posted July 11, 2010 I wouldn't suggest seeing a therapist because you're crazy, I'd suggest seeing a therapist because they are trained to walk people through a process of learning constructive ways to use bad experiences from the past. You're allowing this guy to control your emotions and your thoughts in your present life, and I realize that sounds trite and obvious and unhelpful. But recognizing your rage in those terms is the first step to making rational, productive decisions about how best to turn the tables on your own self-destructive thinking about this guy. You possess more control over your mind and your sleep and your future than you understand how to exercise right now. That doesn't make you sick or crazy, it only makes you miserable. The good news is, you can be taught to change this--it's just a matter of accessing someone who is trained to teach you HOW. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NaturalJ Posted July 16, 2010 Share Posted July 16, 2010 I've had similar dreams. One recently, but the person is still in my life. I live at home while saving money for when I transfer to a University. I had a dream that I told my step-father I would spit on his corpse. We have a lot of turmoil and I try to rise above but I'm not perfect. I have scheduled therapy appointments for many reasons and these dreams are one of them. I haven't gone yet, but therapy has helped me in many ways during the past times. It is just saying how you actually feel is somewhat satisfying to the psyche when there is another person there to acknowledge it. Anyways, I suggest you look at the pros and the cons of the situation. You got satisfaction out of realizing he is a complete douche and made mistakes after high school. You are pissed that your friend added him to facebook. Why should you even be mad? Just think of if he knew you were pissed, he would get satisfaction from it. After realizing that, think about how he is irrelevant to your life. He doesn't matter, and if anything he was a test for you. You learned certain lessons from dealing with douche bags in the past. Now you are capable of avoiding those mistakes in the future making you a better person. Your emotions would give him satisfaction, he doesn't matter, you learned life long lessons, and you are a better person (it sounds like anyways). Be optimistic! Move on and stop caring so much about other people. It is easier said than done but it is a goal you can hope to attain. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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