TakingAChance Posted July 10, 2010 Share Posted July 10, 2010 I mentioned in one of my previous threads that I had met this girl on link removed who twice cancelled dates with me via text message at the very last minute. First of all, its bad enough for someone to cancel two dates in a row in consecutive weekends for what would have been a first date. Second of all, to do so by text message is pretty pathetic. I dropped this girl like a bad habit. Sort of. She texted me about a week later feeling badly about how things "got started". Keep in mind, all we had done up to that point was talk on the phone and had not even met in person yet. She wanted to "wipe the slate clean" and start all over...lmao. Alright, whatever. There was nothing to really "start over" in the first place but I humored her when she invited me out (via text message) for a couple of drinks. [shrugs] No harm in that right? I told her I'd call her at around 7...and I did. Well guess what? No answer. So I leave a very short message, and an hour and a half goes by. I'm pissed at this point, but being a gentleman, I called her one last time just to see if she was ok. She answered and very nonchalantly said she didn't see that I had called nor received any voicemails and when I asked her if she still wanted to meet up she said that she was going to bed. It was still early and I asked her if she always went to bed that early and she said yes. Then she had the audacity to ask me if she could "call me tomorrow and try again". I just flatout told her that I was not interested in going out nor was I interested in ever talking to her again. She asked me "Why, what's wrong?" LMFAO!! I kept my cool and just told her that I was done with the games, wished her luck, and said goodbye. (Pardon the dramafest folks because this is where it gets worse) Back when we had first started talking, somehow or another she knew that I was friends with one of her old friends on facebook. The only way she could have possibly known that is if she had somehow found my facebook profile or had scanned through her friend's friend list. It was weird...but I gave her the benefit of the doubt at the time and just kind of awkwardly laughed it off. She said that she was no longer friends with that person anyways and that they had had a falling out. Flash forward back to the present: I sent that person a very brief message on FB asking if she knew (the girl that had flaked 3 times). Well, this afternoon I get a call from Flake Girl but I didn't pick up because I didn't want to talk to her and I figured that it would just be more B.S. about trying to go out or something. She leaves me a voicemail telling me that her friends on facebook including her own ex-boyfriend had been calling her over the past couple of days saying that I was communicating with them on FB and "talking about her" and that if it continued she would "file a report". ????????????? For what? I don't even know who her ex-boyfriend is, nor would I contact him on FB even if I did, but she did mention the name of the person whom I DID ask about her. That person never responded to my message anyways but after that ridiculous phone call threatening to "file a report" I sent a brief message to this person indicating what had just happened and that if she did call Flake Girl to say whatever the heck was said to please remove me from her friend's list. Flake Girl texts me later this evening saying that because she had "warned me" and I then went on to contact her/my/our/neither friend or whatever that she was going to file harassment charges against me......... This situation is nuttier than rat crap in a pistachio factory and I'm admittedly a little concerned at this point, not because I did anything wrong, but because this woman is clearly psychotic and I have no clue what she's capable of actually doing or accomplishing with this whole charade other than wasting my time with some frivolous nonsense. So, that's my story. Fun huh? [sarcasm] If anyone here has any recommendations aside from the blatantly obvious about what I can do to protect my own butt against whatever the hell could even remotely be "filed" against me, feel free to offer advice. This is insanity...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StarFright Posted July 10, 2010 Share Posted July 10, 2010 First of all let me just say your post made me laugh a few times..kudos to the humor. On a serious note, this girl sounds like she has some psychological problems or that someone has done this to her before on a more extreme level and now she mistakes small events for huge red flags. In all honesty, I'd stay away from this girl, block her number/facebook page and take that friend off of your list as well. I'd agree, it does sounds really loopy. I've had scares myself but they usually go far beyond simply messaging a friend. Maybe she has something to hide?? And even if she does "file" something like a restraining order against you, I doubt you'd loose much. She would probably be doing you more of a justice. I'd save any messages or voice mails from her or her friends, or rather the ones you sent to them to show you were harmless. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stay_home Posted July 10, 2010 Share Posted July 10, 2010 Good on your part to step away while you did. Leave her in yesteryear. Hopefully she'll find some help at some point in her life, something is definitely disturbing this poor soul. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bethany86 Posted July 10, 2010 Share Posted July 10, 2010 Oh lordy! I think this one is real special! P.S. In my job I know a fair bout about this stuff. You have nothing to worry about. The authorities will pretend they care however when she turns her back the whispers will be "go away little girl". It's a facebook message! GEEEEEZ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
waveseer Posted July 10, 2010 Share Posted July 10, 2010 I'm sorry you're in this situation, even if it is somewhat trivial. The lesson here folks is to stop contacting a person you've never met the first time they flake on you. Develop as many options as you need so that you aren't tempted to give them the benefit of the doubt. If they contact you again let them know you've written them off and why. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlphaFemme Posted July 10, 2010 Share Posted July 10, 2010 There's nothing she can do if your post is giving 100% of the story. However, Match does have a place to contact the site about bizarre and/or sketchy behavior (like married people using the site, stalkers, etc). You could conceivably cut and paste this entry to them. They'll probably laugh-- unless someone else has had the same experience with her. In that case, they usually suspend the account to spare others a good stalking. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TakingAChance Posted July 10, 2010 Author Share Posted July 10, 2010 Thanks folks...and for something as crazy as this, it's impossible to not have a sense of humor about it otherwise I'll be the one in the padded cell at the back of the puzzle factory. I've kept all messages, including her texts and the ridiculous voicemail she left me earlier today. That alone destroys her credibility because why in the H-E-Double-Hockey-Sticks would she be calling someone whom she's threatening to file a restraining order against in the first place? This chick is clearly a few fries short of a happy meal. My only other concern is that whatever her mental state is and the fact that she's obviously a pathological liar, that she might end up completely fabricating something that never even happened. Anyways, for waveseer: in defense of what remains of my own dignity (lol!) for giving this person two chances too many, is that the first time she cancelled, she said that she was "sick". I do get your point, but I also believe in giving people the benefit of the doubt......obviously. Duly noted though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MikNomis Posted July 10, 2010 Share Posted July 10, 2010 This will be a fun story to share with others in the future. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
savignon Posted July 10, 2010 Share Posted July 10, 2010 I see your point about giving the benefit of the doubt...I also think that more often than not giving so many chances turns out to be like that expression "fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nutbrownhare Posted July 10, 2010 Share Posted July 10, 2010 It sounds as though she has a personality disorder (not psychotic!); block her, and anyone connected with her from your contacts, keep a record of any contacts she makes with you. Then leave her behind and move on. Really, really do not feel tempted to respond to her in any way whatsoever. In the unlikely event that she goes ahead and reports you to the police, you can truthfully say that you found her behaviour very disturbing and that you do not have any wish to take things further with her. Even if she does file a complaint against you - very unlikely - it would just mean that you would get into trouble if you try to contact her again. It doesn't sound as though you're falling over yourself to do that! Just chalk it up to experience. And don't try to follow up any background of a link removed person unless it looks as though you're going to be taking the relationship further - it sounds as though your 'friend' has stirred things up somewhat. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
peanutbutterandjelly Posted July 10, 2010 Share Posted July 10, 2010 it might be even better if she actually DOES file a restraining order. then you dont have to worry about anymore drama with her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TakingAChance Posted July 10, 2010 Author Share Posted July 10, 2010 No, it wouldn't be better if she filed a restraining order. I didn't do anything to merit one and in doing a little bit of research on it, restraining orders carry a felony charge with them in the state that I currently live in. Realistically, she can't do anything. What's she going to say? "He told me he wasn't interested in me anymore after I flaked out at the last minute on every date we planned and then he asked one of his facebook friends about me"? Yeah. Good luck with that. Hopefully she'll either come to her senses or have a friend or family member talk some sense into her because I don't need nor want to waste my time with this woman and her psycho drama any more than I already have. The compassionate side of me though does hope that she gets some professional help for whatever her various issues are and can find some inner peace. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
peanutbutterandjelly Posted July 10, 2010 Share Posted July 10, 2010 oh, i didnt realize that about the state you are in. honestly, i wouldnt worry about it. I highly DOUBT anything will ever come of it. She was probably just trying to create more drama and scare you. Some people aren't happy in life unless they are the center of crazy attention all the time. Just delete her, her friend and go on your merry way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FuzzyKitten Posted July 10, 2010 Share Posted July 10, 2010 She can't file a restraining order, you weren't contacting her. You were contacting one of your friends on facebook. I don't even see why you should be worried about this. If I were you, I would report her to link removed before she gets a chance to make up a story and report you. However, most likely, she won't go through with anything. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HeartGoesOn Posted July 10, 2010 Share Posted July 10, 2010 It sounds like you dodged a bullet by not meeting her, and I'll bet that you're not the first one that she's pulled a this kind of stunt on. I would block her from all contact, until this blows over, Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cpc28655 Posted July 10, 2010 Share Posted July 10, 2010 You call that insane!?!?! I should introduce you to my exwife, then you will know what insane really is. In reality, you got very lucky. She isn't stalking you, she isn't showing up at your house or workplace, and she hasn't threatened to kill herself. Sound like you just found a girl with a very big mouth. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TakingAChance Posted July 11, 2010 Author Share Posted July 11, 2010 Lol. Cpc: the biggest difference here though is that all of this crap happened before I even met this person. Either way, you have my empathy man. To the rest in this thread: I'm not sweatin it. It's definitely a ridiculously crazy set of circumstances and even though it had my head spinning the other night when I first posted this and it was still fresh, there's nothing she can realistically or legally do except make empty threats about it. Hope everyone is enjoying their weekend. Carry on... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
winchester3 Posted July 11, 2010 Share Posted July 11, 2010 You know the best thing about internet dating? When you find a dud there's always more. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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