dre760 Posted July 10, 2010 Share Posted July 10, 2010 Before you read this post, I warn you this is basically just me ranting and typing whatever comes to my head at the time. None of this was thought out so this is not organized and will probably have all sorts of grammar mistakes. So its been 6 months since our relationship ended. I was just recently talking with a mutual friend and she asked if I wanted to come to a party. I asked a question which basically hinted at me asking if my ex was going to be there. She said no and asked, "why don't want to see xxxxxxx? I said yah Then she said she ran into her the other night. I asked with her new bf? She said yah and she said not to tell you. Said she was dragging him along, saw her and talked for like 5 seconds. And basically all my ex told her was to not tell me about it. How ridiculous is she?!! I'm beginning to hate her soooo much now! But at the same time I'm in love with the memories I have of her. Why on earth would she say that to her? We have been over for 6 effing months! She must be retarded if she thinks her whole relationship is a secret. Before I deleted her on fb, she posts pics of her and him all holding on together. She is weak. Heartless. Souless. If she thinks she is making me feel better by contacting me, she is dead wrong! Its making everything worse. No longer will I be there for her. No longer will I think every text from her as a sign of hope. Wow I am sooo frustrated right now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Next time she tries to contact me, Im going to flat out tell her, stop contacting me. Were over! Leave me alone. I don't ever want to hear from you again. (idk if ima say all that. Just an idea) For those of you who have just gotten out of your relationship. Do not believe the excuses your ex told you. He/She has planned this for months before they actually broke up with you. I just recently found a note my ex wrote to my family after she broke up with me. One of the reasons she said was, "She doesn't want to watch 3 or 4 more years go by and realize she has never been single and just had fun." WHAAAAAAAAT???!!! But you have a boyfriend 6 months later??!! If your ex is immature as mine, then you better believe they lied to you during the breakup. They will do whatever it takes to make you feel better. Truth is, they are no longer in love with you. They havn't loved you for quite some time now. Thats why it is so easy for them to move on and so hard for you. Love does not exist. Its all a lie. Its just a fantasy that movies/stories put into our head. The only love that exists is the love from God. Don't be fooled. "Some fools think of happiness, blissfulness, togetherness. Some fools fool themselves I guess. They;re not fooling me. I know it isn't true. I know it isn't true. Love is just a lie. Its made to make you blue. Love hurts." - Nazareth. I once was that fool and I'm sure you have been that fool as well. If you disagree with me then you just haven't seen the other side yet. Or you weren't what some might say "truly in love" to begin with. 6 months on and I'm still torn up about all this? What the heck is wrong with me? "Time heals everything, time heals everything." Yah I doubt that. Hopefully I can get over this animosity I have towards her and can just move on. If I could erase all memories of her, I just might do that. I can't stand how much I still think about her. Its literally every second of everyday. She is stuck in my head and just lurking there wherever I go. Never again will I fall in love. Never again will I be sucked into a relationship. Never will I hate/love somebody as much as I do now.............................discuss Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jellysandwich Posted July 10, 2010 Share Posted July 10, 2010 Yes, I believe in love. However, my definition is love is completely different from yours. link removed Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dancingcolors Posted July 10, 2010 Share Posted July 10, 2010 I don't think you should allow yourself to get so bitter to say never again will I love. I had an extremely heartbroken, break up, but I still want to love again. I do feel emotionally damaged and wonder if I really can, but I do want to. She hurt you enough already. Don't let her ruin the rest of your life, and steal away your ability and desire to love and be loved. You sound awesome, and I believe you truly were in love, because I was and am going through and have been going through the same thing for 15 months.I am sure there are other woman out there, who would love to meet a guy who cares so much. there are woman in this forum who would. Don't give up on love because of one bad experience and person. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dre760 Posted July 13, 2010 Author Share Posted July 13, 2010 I want to love. I want to believe In it. I'm obsessed with it. It is all I think about. A relationship with someone other than my ex us going to take sooooo much out of me. I have this wall up that is protecting me from pain. Why would I want to start something with someone else when I risk going through this pain again? How is it even fair to my future partners if I'm still in love with my ex? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jimmajam Posted July 13, 2010 Share Posted July 13, 2010 I used to believe in love. I used to be the romantic type. Then i realized it's all bull * * * * and not even worth the effort. I am sure I felt true love with my last ex (first time), pretty sure she felt it too. If something like that can be broken, then it doesn't exist and it's not really worth trying to find. Just find someone you can stand to live with and put up with and settle down. That's how it works. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EFromm33 Posted July 13, 2010 Share Posted July 13, 2010 I'm in the midst of trying to deal with being broken up with and it has led me to do a lot of thinking and reading about love. Right now it's very difficult to let go of the hurt and rejection I'm feeling. We all want the people we love to love us back...in a way that makes sense to us, a way that accords with what we mean when we say we love them. But that's not fair to them, I guess, or to us. I do think it's important to try to define what we mean by love. I believe it has to be more than just a feeling. If it doesn't involve action and intention and will then it doesn't seem to me to be a very useful concept. I like the way bell hooks defines love, as "the will to extend one's self for the purpose of nurturing one's own or another's spiritual growth". She's taking a lot from my board namesake sociologist/psychoanalyst Erich Fromm, who wrote a truly lovely book called the Art of Loving. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Staple Posted July 13, 2010 Share Posted July 13, 2010 I don't think its real. I loved my girlfriend so much. I can't even describe how strongly I felt for her. It allowed her to take advantage of me and really devastate me emotionally and in terms of my own self-esteem. I hate myself now for falling in love with her. I'm never going to make that mistake again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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