dancingcolors Posted July 9, 2010 Share Posted July 9, 2010 I am reading all these posts by people saying will this ever end, what can I do? I'm 15 months into it and this is what I did: I layed in bed paralyzed in disbelief. I talked all my friends's ears off about it. Probably drove them all mad. I cried and cried and cried and cried........ I screamed into my pillow, and when i was driving down the road. I cried some more..... I gave away all my possessions and sold my house and moved away, to go live with my friends, so i wouldn't be alone. I still cried...... I moved to a friendly, crazy little town in Montana, where everyone is friendly and your friend. I went to the bar there alot, and drank ice water, and talked to everyone. I got massages, reiki treatments, acupuncture, light therapy treatments,for a broken heart. I had counseling all winter. I read Eat,Love, Pray. I took vitmin E. I prayed constanty. I said tons of affirmations. I cried some more, missed him terribly, longed for him. I wrote a few emails and letters. Broke down once and made him a hat and sent it to him. No responses. I went on little dates, that just made me sadder. I cried some more. I returned to the town I ran away from 2 months ago. That was a hard drive back. I cried the whole day and a half. I spent a day reading about healing your broken heart on the internet and learned alot. I ate alot of chocolate and ice cream. I had a crazy one night stand one time only, and we made believe we just got married. i said crazy. I released him to his highest good, and said i was free now, the whole day and a half drive back to Oregon. I walked the length of the street we loved to hang out on, and released him to his highest good. I did that in our favorite resturant too. I finally saw him when he came to see me, with the woman he dumped me for. I relasped bad and cried some more. It hurt like hell to see him, but it is helping me to be in the present finally. I am still really lonely, and really want someone, But I think I am getting better all the time. I am not obsessing about him all the time, or crying all the time. I am trying to meet guys online. It is hard, but I think it might be gaining momentum I hope. Today, i dyed my hair dark brown with a purple sheen. That helped. And you know in 15 minutes I might be crying again. And I still don't know why I had to go through all this. The main lesson I have learned is: I don't let people walk all over me anymore. I take red flag warning signs very seriously. Not only with men, but with friends too, woman and men. There are plenty of people out there who will treat you good. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sunday2010 Posted July 9, 2010 Share Posted July 9, 2010 oh thats inspirational stuff.theres got to be reasons why this happened to us,.You sound amazing.I visited the states way back in 05 and flew over Oregon, looked a nice place to be. went to seattle too.. I do like it there LOL Just want to say you have come through this so far there may be more pain but honestly it has to get better.I'm only new to this game its only two months for me and today I'm flatlining... the anniversary somwhere there has to be a silver lining..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dancingcolors Posted July 9, 2010 Author Share Posted July 9, 2010 Well, everyone says the silver linings is that I will get a much better guy who will actually love me. I hope so. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sunday2010 Posted July 9, 2010 Share Posted July 9, 2010 WE deserve that ...we really do!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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