lostninsecure Posted July 8, 2010 Share Posted July 8, 2010 Just been pondering about the future and how it would make me feel, "if" my ex would ever down the road stop being a coward and give me an apology I deserve. He left me cold and cowardly and left the pain in my heart linger til this day 8 months later. Although right now, I don't miss anything about him, I am angry how it ended and that he is still living with the teenager he chose over me. I am angry he has become this guy I would'nt be attracted to if I never knew him, we were to meet for the first time. He is 31 and dates a teen, hangs with teenagers, does alot of things out of his charachter from when I knew him ect... I have moved on and now can fully function and have been pretty happy with my life. I still have bad days but overall I am amused by his new life, and no longer have the desire or attraction for him. I have said my apology and asked for forgiveness for my crazy reaction after the truth came out, I did my part, with NO RESPONSE!I know he didnt deserve anything from me after what he did but I wanted to show him that I am not the coldhearted snake he is I guess.I still dont understand how you can be with someone longterm mine 6 years and just NEVER speak to them or care about them ever again?? Has anyone ever recieved an apology down the road? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BriarRose Posted July 8, 2010 Share Posted July 8, 2010 6 years is a really long time. You may never get that apology, but you are not forgotten. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sunday2010 Posted July 8, 2010 Share Posted July 8, 2010 I know somewhat how you feel.I'm 2 months out, I have received no phone call or naything substancial but a weak short scribbled letter with no sorry no nothing it wa sjust I'm moving on etc etc.I wa swith mine for 3 year nd 10 months so I kinda know how you feel, I really believe I will get nothing form him as he thinks I was in the wrong But it takes tow to tango you know. All i can say is don;t hold your breath you may or may not get anything, 8 months is fair way down the track.My sister had a boyfriend who she was engaged to years ago and they had been together 4 years and he just broke it off and she heard not one thing from him ever again!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crazyaboutdogs Posted July 8, 2010 Share Posted July 8, 2010 Never expect an apology from someone who is emotionally messed up. Sincere apologies come from people who have had the time to clean up their act and self-reflect. If someone is incapable of cleaning up their act, then they will not have any true understanding of wrong-doing and remorse and they will be incapable of apologizing. Just keep moving on with your life and realize that you are actually in a much better place than he is. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lostninsecure Posted July 8, 2010 Author Share Posted July 8, 2010 6 years is a really long time. You may never get that apology, but you are not forgotten. Wow Misskitty I know you didnt mean to but reading these words made me cry very hard. Yes 6 years was a really long time and I only wish I heard those words from him...never forgotten. I guess I am not over it, if I am crying right now, He was my best friend and when he was gone I was so lost, I guess I dont want him to forget what a good woman and person I was to him. I didnt do anything negative to him during the relationship. He already admitted this was all his fault months ago, and said he was sorry. But after the whole me begging, crying, harrassing his new gf, I think he hates me.. I did act over the top irrational but I have since stopped all contact 3 months ago and since FB messaged him an apology for causing problems with them..no response but he didnt block me??? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carus Posted July 8, 2010 Share Posted July 8, 2010 I still dont understand how you can be with someone longterm mine 6 years and just NEVER speak to them or care about them ever again?? My ex brought her new BF to my place of work two weeks ago...Twice! How nice... So we were in the same room and didnt even speak.... I have my (obvious) reasons, and I guess she has hers.... Thats life though I guess....But there a lot worse things than this going on out there in the world...* Has anyone ever recieved an apology down the road? Not here....But after a time you wont even worry about it anyway...I Promise* Ever Forward K2* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommyalone Posted July 14, 2010 Share Posted July 14, 2010 I never really got an actual apology, but my ex from 5 years ago did tell that I was one of the people he probably should apologize to... Coming from him it was just as good as an apology... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
odile Posted July 14, 2010 Share Posted July 14, 2010 Actually, I have received some well-delayed apologies in my time. The most remarkable instance was once receive a very detailed apology from an ex years after we'd broken up and well after I'd gotten over him. It really was a heart-warming surprise. Not because I wanted to be with him any longer, and not because I needed the apology to validate what we had had, but because it made me feel like something unexpected and good had come from what had seemed like a failure. Even though the relationship had crashed and burned, each of us had learned something about ourselves in the process. And in the aftermath, because he'd been faced with the consequence of losing me, he'd learned how to take a little (even if only a little) bit of responsibility for some of the hurt that he'd caused. There is no guarantee that you will ever hear an apology like this one. This isn't because you don't deserve one, but because for him to apologize sincerely would require him to grow up in ways that he may never actually do. You cannot beat yourself up over this. Six years is a long time, and I agree with the others that say he won't forget you. Just the same, do not concern yourself with this. It's better that you focus on what you have learned from dating a child-man, so that you can choose more wisely when it comes to picking someone to give your heart to. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
savignon Posted July 14, 2010 Share Posted July 14, 2010 He already admitted this was all his fault months ago, and said he was sorry. So you're looking for him to appologize again? Unfortunately, with the hurt feelings and heartache you have, it won't matter if he appologizes 10 times or how or when he says it....it doesn't make it better. I agree with CrazyaboutDogs....when it's real and sincere and comes from real personal growth, it can take ages. He may never regret his choice, but still be sorry he hurt you. He's already admitted this was his doing, his fault and appologized so I don't think anything else he could do short of erasing the past or having a do-over and choosing you instead would make it better for you. Sorry you're hurting Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cheetarah Posted July 15, 2010 Share Posted July 15, 2010 It took me 5 years to finally apologize to someone. I was too messed up in the head to realize my role, my faults. I saw it as all his fault. It was only with much time and therapy that I was able to recognize who I was back then. And as scary as it was, I wrote him a hand-written letter of apology after no contact whatsoever in those 5 years. I didn't even know if he'd GET it, but I felt so shameful and vulnerable. I didn't expect to hear anything back, but he did. It was such a beautiful, heartfelt response. I have read it so many times the creases are soft. It's made me courageous in some ways, although other people have not been so receptive. And even if someone comes to recognize and regret, it doesn't mean you'll ever hear about it. As many make the choice of forgiveness personal and private, so do those on the opposite end. But...Don't count on it. Really, just don't. If the world were just, my ex-ex owes me a huge apology. I reached out and tried to make my amends and was also ignored. But it's not, and I don't expect it to come. As far as I'm concerned, it'll never happen in this lifetime. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bearskittie Posted July 15, 2010 Share Posted July 15, 2010 My ex didn't say sorry until march this yr we had been split for 6months by then an even then he only said sorry for yelling at me when i left him. He still hasn't said sorry for taking alot of money from me an cheating on me 3 times but then he has never rang since April because i told him i didn't want to get back with him and i had a new bf (now engaged). I guess i will never get my apology for the other things from him and i know we shall never speak to him again and luckily i will never (hopefully) see him again. In time it stops hurting or bothering you for me it was 2 months when i stopped caring but then i did have reason to start hating pretty soon after the split and finding someone new helps loads, as it helps you get your head back on track. Time is a great healer ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WomanWriter Posted July 15, 2010 Share Posted July 15, 2010 Ah...yes. My ex fiance that I was with for 7 years broke up with me in Jan 09 because we were "holding each other back." He cried and said we couldn't be friends after begging me to stay friends. After very light contact, I emailed him 10 months later and asked him to bring me back some of my things. He was civil but stiff. That was our last contact other than running into each other at the store this January and him ignoring me. Until June. This June I get an email from him saying he is hoping I'm doing well and wants to know if I want any of his old books because he's moving! A couple were some special books we made as a couple. He asked if he could drop by, then he called me and was friendly. I was shocked, as I never expected to hear from him again. He came over and we had a few laughs and caught up. He didn't actually say "I'm sorry" but he did tease that he was jealous of the traveling I've done even though he's the one who originally wanted to do it. He also admitted that he's still in a bad place and that it's his own fault, not mine, which to me is like an apology because I felt he basically blamed me for holding him back but now he was admitting that it was just him. He and I hugged and I felt we had our peace. So it can happen. I never thought it would, but it can. Just move on with your life and it will happen when you least expect it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kaiser_Soze Posted July 15, 2010 Share Posted July 15, 2010 I have apologized to an ex years later. I broke up with her in a really cowardly way and it never sat well with me. When I did apologize it was a huge weight off of my shoulders. She was really sweet and didn't deserve to have it end the way it did. She was fine, had a good relationship with a really cool guy and appreciated it, but I could see that she hadn't carried the burden like I had. In reality thats what I get though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptimistPrime Posted July 16, 2010 Share Posted July 16, 2010 Yeah. Mines apologized repeatedly a few days after dumping me. I was bitter and didn't accept it. but I do now. It's the past you know? gotta forgive and move on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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