lachi Posted July 8, 2010 Share Posted July 8, 2010 So I was seeing a guy who was my best friend over 3 years and we were together for a year and a half and broke up 4 weeks ago. Since breaking up its been this constant abuse tunnel of back and forth sms's. We are both hurt and frustrated... ive tried over the past month to get him to understand that i feel neglected in this relationship and that im just there for the sake of being there in his world coz i feel he is never there for me. I found girls msgin him in his phone and facebook which was the main reason y i stopped because they were flirtatious and i didnt want to risk being hurt anymore so i ended it. Then he was abusing me saying... u dont trust me... what are u looking for... then accused me of liking other people which is not true. Then he wants to see me... doesnt want to... and all i wanted was for him to understand that i couldnt do it anymore with how things were but i loved him and cared for him but i was so hurt/resentful and all. He would msg me everyday... n i didnt reply then he used negative attention to do it and i bit back which i shouldnt have. Last night was our final sms war where he said Its hurting me so much... im so confused n i love him but cant be with him he is convinced there is someone else Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
savignon Posted July 8, 2010 Share Posted July 8, 2010 it sounds like you're both pretty abusive in the way you talk to each other and blame the other person for "bringing it out". Think about your role in what went wrong and improve that for your next relationship. You can't fix him or other people...you can only change how you react to them. Next time I would suggest hanging up or blocking the number or just turning your phone off so as not to engage in such a brutal conversation again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lachi Posted July 8, 2010 Author Share Posted July 8, 2010 I was faithful... honest to him and loyal.... i dont think he was and i couldnt trust him because he had been unfaithful before. I didnt feel loved i felt abandoned neglected n 2nd best... thats y i walked out not because i want to... but coz i had too. Spent way too many nights crying sleepless whilst he went out and partied with his mates... it hurt me too much and i tried to tell him that Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lachi Posted July 8, 2010 Author Share Posted July 8, 2010 that is unfaithful in his past relationships... and to see msgs of flirtation in his facebook inbox killed me... coz i didnt want to believe it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Clarity Posted July 8, 2010 Share Posted July 8, 2010 Sit back and re-read that conversation. Does that sound like two people who should be in a relationship together? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lachi Posted July 8, 2010 Author Share Posted July 8, 2010 No it doesnt but why does it get to that or come to this? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lachi Posted July 8, 2010 Author Share Posted July 8, 2010 So I closed it to make things right with a letter i emailed him today which he wont get til monday: ----------------------------------- Hi, U may read this & u may not… I don’t want to feel incomplete out of all of this or be angry resentful towards you and I have lately and I’m sorry… I apologise if I’ve hurt you but I have been hurt in all this as well & it’s all coming out and lashing it out on you which is the last thing I ever wanted to do. I tried to ignore you & I couldn’t in the end coz I still cared but I made it a lot worse…. That’s why they say “silence is golden”. The past few days I’ve been very very defensive and my bruised ego got in the way because I didn’t know how or what to say in my goodbye to you coz I never wanted this to become or get to this way…. but there is no other way out for you & that is in hating me. You were a very special part of my life & I will always remember you like that. I have had to be strong in this for the both of us because we are both so similar when we are angry & can say things with no remorse and that’s not right or fair because I do care about you & I know you do to deep deep inside. I can look back at everything we have done together & say yes we had a good time but it just wasn’t meant to be. I can blame you and u can blame me til the cows come home but really it was never about the blame… who did this n who did that. For me yeah I guess it was about “Trust”… it was from day 1 with you and I dunno I just couldn’t “Trust” you with my heart again… all these girls were too much for me with everything I have been through before and I couldn’t come back to something like that & I didn’t want to change you coz ur happier like that. You would be crazy to think I have found or met someone else and I guess you will hear that in time along the grapevine that there never was or has been. Time heals all… good luck in life my angel, my soulmate & my best friend… u will be missed but you will be thought of & wished well xo Goodbye ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- Do u think this is ok? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Puckdog27 Posted July 8, 2010 Share Posted July 8, 2010 Seems like 2 people who always need to have the last word. if you want this to end STOP sending him messages, no matter what he says. If you dont, keep doing it and posting the messages here so we can enjoy them ;-) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lachi Posted July 8, 2010 Author Share Posted July 8, 2010 LOL... thanks puckdog. Well i got a response to the email saying "please dont message me anymore" so im letting it go Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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