easyguy Posted July 6, 2010 Share Posted July 6, 2010 Hit up your local thrift and used clothing stores and get something different. You may be surprised to see what you can get for so cheap. Step out of your comfort zone and try new wardrobe choices. If you wear t-shirts all the time in public, layer it with something that matches or is completely random. It is not shallow , in my opinion , to value your wardrobe and fashion choices. Don't be obsessed with it , just raise your standards so that even your casual clothing as some style to it and invites the chance of getting noticed. Not only will your feel comfortable wearing what you wear if you get used to wearing it (wearing something new or "not you" might feel awkward the first couple times around) , but you never know when you will run into an attractive lady/guy. You will not get noticed by the opposite sex if you're just in t-shirt , jeans, or something very neutral. How you present yourself , how comfortable you appear , and how much you seem to dig it , will do wonders on how approachable you are (in addition to your body language). You can only do so much to change how your body looks , since much of it has to do with genetics, but what you can control - take advantage of it and have fun. To live with some different results, change something about what you do and see what happens. Attraction is not just personality, but look or style. Wear what your eye is drawn to. Don't copy , just try different combinations. It's just one of the many ways to test and improve your self-confidence. But do it because you want to, not because you feel you have to. I've recently made some different fashion/wardrobe choices, and have been getting noticed more by women. Just yesterday, I was approached by two young women while waiting at the bus stop, and they initiated conversation with me. That used to never happen to me. Obviously, looks and style are simply a gateway to engage in something less superficial. Thing is, you are more likely to be attracted to if you not only ditch the uber casual dressing style, but take comfort and have confidence in your yourself in a higher regard because of those aesthetic choices that is appealing to you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pl3asehelp Posted July 6, 2010 Share Posted July 6, 2010 Well, what if you don't care about clothes at all. Say, for instance, you're a busy person who's say passionately into music and you just don't care enough to go down to the thrift store and dig though racks of clothes. You would rather just do something easy that doesn't take time away from the things that you're passionate about. You can still be attractive, but rather than it being about your look, it would be more about who you are, the passionate musician. I'd rather be noticed for who I am than for some wardrobe choices I made. Sometimes, if you who are is attractive, what you wear doesn't really matter. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
easyguy Posted July 6, 2010 Author Share Posted July 6, 2010 Well, what if you don't care about clothes at all. Say, for instance, you're a busy person who's say passionately into music and you just don't care enough to go down to the thrift store and dig though racks of clothes. You would rather just do something easy that doesn't take time away from the things that you're passionate about. You can still be attractive, but rather than it being about your look, it would be more about who you are, the passionate musician. I'd rather be noticed for who I am than for some wardrobe choices I made. Sometimes, if you who are is attractive, what you wear doesn't really matter. Well, then don't if you see it as distracting. Are you a musician? If you are, then you and I can relate. Music is definitely the way to let people/women/anyone see what we are passionate about at the core. I won't date anyone who doesn't respect what I do , and I presume you think the same. However, it is my personal thought on the matter that one can grasp onto the beauty and passion of music while awakening other aesthetics. It's about what the mind , the eye, and the spirit considers to be beautiful... in the same regard that we have our favorite aesthetics and vibes in music. In the end, it is not about the kind of shirt you wear , but how you can just be when you raise your confidence and means of identity in areas other than music. I don't want to only be noticed for music , even though it is a major part of my identity as a person , and so I try to let myself be inclusive to those things which can add to what it means to be me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aireyc Posted July 6, 2010 Share Posted July 6, 2010 I can't add a whole lot to this other than to say I agree that our everyday clothing is important. In response to pl3asehelp, I think the problem with not caring about what you wear is that it can make you appear to be a boring person. Most of the people we meet in our travels will be strangers to us, and unless you're performing, they probably won't know you're into music or some other hobby. Sure, if you want to be a recluse and not sociable, then I guess you can sit around in your underwear all day. But if you have any social life, it's always good to mix things up. And it's not expensive either. Six shirts + six pairs of pants will give you a new outfit every day of the month. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shyguy1 Posted July 6, 2010 Share Posted July 6, 2010 I tend to have a very basic and boring sense of fashion. A lot of jeans, black chuck taylors (on the rare occasion combat boots instead) camo shorts from time to time and band shirts.. usually of old punk rock bands. It's the aging punk rocker in me.... I realize this doesn't help my success with the dating world, though at the same time I don't want to be something that I'm not either. It's a catch 22 in a sense, although I wouldn't mind getting a makeover of sorts from some of the females on here at some point (might start a thread sometime) if it might help my success in dating and gain me confidence. I would much rather not go too extreme and at least keep a basic criteria of who I am in the process, perhaps simply in a more refined way. I suppose I could force myself to get out of my comfort zone beyond that basic criteria if need be, though I would largely hate myself for doing so. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
easyguy Posted July 6, 2010 Author Share Posted July 6, 2010 Brother, you don't necessarily need a female's perspective. Sometimes you do. Take for instance, the case of a girlfriend. My first girlfriend, at one point in our relationship, said to me, "I love you, but those jeans got to go." She got me hip to a more suitable pair of jeans for me , and I pretty much just shop at that store for clothes. They sell used and mostly very inexpensive clothing (shirts, jeans, shoes, jackets, sweaters, etc). Most items are between $5-20. I found this site earlier this evening called link removed, which can give you some ideas for color combinations. Although I wouldn't dress in the same way as most of the models on that site, it's nice to see what colors can work well together. I think that when you get into your 20s, it's an excellent time to stop dressing like a teenager (at least when you're out and about). I also suppose it is a matter of lifestyle , too. 90% of the time when I am out, it is either because I am playing music or am watching a band. Naturally, there are both young men and women around and most have some kind of stylish spin, even if they are just wearing basic clothes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tangz Posted July 6, 2010 Share Posted July 6, 2010 I always get new clothes but I stick to the basics and just try and do them well. Jeans, singlet and a fitted t shirt. Basic look but I just get styley/branded clothes and keep it fresh. I dont like to be too metro. So no pink, popped collars, overly tight v neck t shirts, those long sleeved shirts with the button on the neck etc etc Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
quirky Posted July 6, 2010 Share Posted July 6, 2010 I attach importance to my dress code too, it's another form of self expression and creativity for me. I do it only for myself, I actually think that when it comes to the opposite sex they prefer simpler, more conventional outfits on women i.e jeans and a top. My favourite clothes are of the 50s style, like the dress in my avatar, i have no jeans and no trainers. I am aware that the guys that will notice me are guys that usually like something "different" even if they are not very "different" themselves. I do notice a lot a guy that wears something unique like braces, hat, check shoes or trousers, shirt with tank top. When the guy looks like he took some care of his appearance it increases my attraction, even if it's just jeans and a nice shirt. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bluesman89 Posted July 6, 2010 Share Posted July 6, 2010 Helpful advice thanks. I tend not to wear just t-shirts anyway (unless they're long and baggy) as I'm far too skinny for my liking and feel uncomfortable. I don't have much summer clothes either, apart from a light blue shirt which I have been wearing over any t-shirt I can find. I've got no eye for what matches and such. I'm about to go out now and it looks as if it may rain at some point. Won't I look like a right fool in my blue shirt then! Ah well it took me long enough to get comfortable with wearing summer clothes out, and I'm not about go back a step. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nomadic Intent Posted July 6, 2010 Share Posted July 6, 2010 GUYS! Please take note of this post! This is great advice, and if you don't already have it in your mindset, please change! PL3easehelp, if you're happy dressing the way you do, then stick to it. But does it get you noticed by the opposite sex? I'm a passionate guitarist, but don't pursue it for employment puposes. but hanging around the scene, you can tell the musos by their dress sense if not the variety of piercings and tattoos they're heavily accessorized , earrings, bracelets. And i'm just talking about men. These guys stand out, and women who are into that, lap them up. As for me, i've always believed to look like the best dressed guy wherever i'm going. Sure i love my heavy rock and folk music - but you don't see me dressed as Art garfunkel, not that there was anything wrong with his style - it worked for him. I know that its not my style. My wardrobe varies from long sleeved shirts to dress clothes to summer tee's. I've got a number of boots, sneakers and formal footwear. It did make a huge dent and i do have expensive taste, but you don't have to spend that much money to look good. Accesories are a must. Necklaces, sunglasses, earrings, bracelets. etc. If you're tattooed, you have the option of covering them up or showing them off. I'm the former even though my right arm is heavily tattooed. Books out there geared for guys have stated the appearance is the biggest factor when it comes to male confidence and attraction - after all its the first thing people 'see' about you. One of my friends is my biggest reminder. He's fashionably hopeless, always in trackies and a jacket. He believes people should like him for who he is - in a perfect world that would be ideal. Yet when we're out and i get more attention he doesn't understand why. Don't underestimate the wardrobe, guys. The girls have got it right when it came to being fussy about buying their wardrobe - and us guys notice when a women looks hot, do we not? Physical attraction is key to everything. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mike88 Posted July 6, 2010 Share Posted July 6, 2010 What kinds of choices does a man have to look nice but not metrosexual? When I'm concerned with where im going enough to look good, I usually where a nice light colored polo or loose button up shirt (unbuttoned) with golfer type plad shorts, and I AALWAYS wear sandles. This is for a summer look obviously. In the winter I just look scrubby all the time with a big sweatshirt and loose adidas stripped pants or loose sweatpants. Is that bad? I don't really know what to wear in the winter because its pretty damn cold where I am. As for accessories like a nice link metal watch, necklace, or sunglasses..ect. That's what I really have no clue about. The only thing I wear that's close to those things is a livestrong bracelet. lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pinkelephant Posted July 7, 2010 Share Posted July 7, 2010 funny, the outfit that i wear that will garantee me lots of attention is a plain red t-shirt and skinny blue jeans. i'm all for dressing up, but sometimes, simplicity has its place. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cognitive_Canine Posted July 7, 2010 Share Posted July 7, 2010 I agree with easyguy. I do not understand the concept of "expressing" oneself through dress. Because, I don't think clothing can accurately depict who you are as a person. And, I think you'll only end up alienating yourself. So, I wear the best clothing for my body that invites people to get to know me. If I tried to dress my personality, I'd just scare/weird people and they'd probably never take the time to get to know me. People are always pleasantly surprised when little ol' me dressed rather preppy most of the time starts talking about video games and chemistry. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kimberrr Posted July 7, 2010 Share Posted July 7, 2010 I think your dress is very important. I always have to have myself together when leaving the house. You never know who you may meet. Plus its always nice when people compliment you on your look. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
guynextdoor Posted July 7, 2010 Share Posted July 7, 2010 The only advice I like to give is never let a woman dress you, then you lose your swagger. On that note I like to wear single strap tanktops with my boyshorts. I'm only kiddin, don't hate. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
msDazed_N_Confused Posted July 7, 2010 Share Posted July 7, 2010 The way you dress is very important when you have to make a first impression. But to be honest, when i like someone it is usually because of who they are. I had crushes on men with the most horrid dress sense, because at that point it doesn't matter what they wear. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sports Fan Posted July 7, 2010 Share Posted July 7, 2010 I wear either plad shirts or t-shirts and it seems I'm taken more seriously the nicer I dress. It's very important to dress your best. Doesn't have to be a suit and tie, but nice enough to make a good impression. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dragon lady Posted July 7, 2010 Share Posted July 7, 2010 When I first opened this thread it kind of annoyed me. My first inclination was to complain about the shallowness of fashion and how the industry is all one big money pit. How can you judge someone by a few pieces of cotton or leather arranged in some way? Then reality hit me and I've realized how important it is to the majority of people. I used to dress very casually, borderline dumpy because of what I stated above. It certainly doesn't win you any friends. Most people stayed away from me. Now I dress a little better and I find a lot more people are drawn to me. I'm not even talking about super trendy here, just like I actually care about my appearance. I was very reluctant to break my old habits and give fashion a try. It was my boyfriend who pressured me (nicely) to do so. I can tell it's worth it because I see his face light up when I put something together well. It does drastically increase my level of attractiveness and I'm no longer ashamed to admit that, no matter how shallow it sounds. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cheetarah Posted July 7, 2010 Share Posted July 7, 2010 I usually where a nice light colored polo or loose button up shirt (unbuttoned) with golfer type plad shorts, and I AALWAYS wear sandles. You don't have thick gold chains stuck in your chest hair or anything, right? Regarding winter wear, I think men look hot in a turtleneck. I really do. Long sleeved solid flannels...With good jeans. Not the ones that sag off your ass. Long sleeved thermals with those poofy vest things, that looks good too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nomadic Intent Posted July 8, 2010 Share Posted July 8, 2010 TO the ladies replying: You guys might state that 'you just throw on a simple dress' and you're happy. The thing is, most women do look good in their everyday outfits. I will not mention the thrashbag looking 'socialites' or the other extreme - junkies. The last girl i fell for grew up on a farm whilst i'm city born and bred. Fashion has always been a big part of my life - for her it meant nothing. But she wore a simple sundress everytime i saw her, and simply let her hair hang - and she was breathtaking each time i saw her. I believe the OP was mostly targeting the male demographic as most men are fashionably challenged. I know my post was targeting men in general. Mintiya, i too love long sleeves. In anything. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dragon lady Posted July 8, 2010 Share Posted July 8, 2010 NI, I think that's the case for naturally very attractive women. They can put on anything and still look good. The average ones and the uggos (shame on me!) have a much harder time. They often need to work on their style to compensate for any shortcomings. You'd be amazed at the difference a makeover can make. I almost want to post my own before and after shots, but I won't! The same goes for men, actually. I've seen extremely hot men walking around in nothing but a T-shirt and shorts and they look delicious. If an average guy wore the same, he wouldn't be anywhere near reaching his full potential. An average guy can become hot with the right ingredients. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nomadic Intent Posted July 8, 2010 Share Posted July 8, 2010 NI, I think that's the case for naturally very attractive women. They can put on anything and still look good. The average ones and the uggos (shame on me!) have a much harder time. They often need to work on their style to compensate for any shortcomings. You'd be amazed at the difference a makeover can make. I almost want to post my own before and after shots, but I won't! The same goes for men, actually. I've seen extremely hot men walking around in nothing but a T-shirt and shorts and they look delicious. If an average guy wore the same, he wouldn't be anywhere near reaching his full potential. An average guy can become hot with the right ingredients. Exactly. Hence easyguys post. Sadly though is that most men still don't see why they feel they need to put effort in to look good when 'they feel fine in jeans and a tee shirt'. It is frustrating to no end. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
randomgirl59 Posted July 8, 2010 Share Posted July 8, 2010 I agree with easyguy. I do not understand the concept of "expressing" oneself through dress. Because, I don't think clothing can accurately depict who you are as a person. And, I think you'll only end up alienating yourself. So, I wear the best clothing for my body that invites people to get to know me. If I tried to dress my personality, I'd just scare/weird people and they'd probably never take the time to get to know me. People are always pleasantly surprised when little ol' me dressed rather preppy most of the time starts talking about video games and chemistry. Clothes dont make the person but they can definitely give hints as to who you are as a person and what your interests are. Personal style is also a good way of expressing yourself through textures, fabrics, styles and brands. Of course the brand or style doesn't make the person, and they aren't detrimental to fashion, but it can give you insight into what the person is into. Someone wearing a skate brand tells me that they could be into skateboarding, or at least appreciates the subculture and/or the style. A person who is into the goth scene will wear black and gothic style clothes, to some that might make them think they are weird, but to many others they may think they enjoy moody subject matter, therefore attracting other people who enjoy the same thing (be they "goth" or not) Again, its speculation, but the same goes for people regardless what they wear. Sometimes I wear t-shirts with specific cartoon characters on it, which can increase my chances of meeting other geeks who watch or like the same cartoon. People who wear band t-shirts can attract others who like the same band. They're good conversation starters. Also, when I wear something in my personal style, I feel better about myself, more natural, which probably makes me look happier and more confident. Clothing can be lots of fun but I guess it depends on the person. I think its neat though, dressing one way then surprising people with your interests. Adds an air of mystery. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cognitive_Canine Posted July 8, 2010 Share Posted July 8, 2010 People who dress skate are typically stereotyped as being druggies. And people who dress goth or metal are stereotyped as being angry or aggressive. That's what I meant by alienating people. Your clothing has worked against you to keep people from getting to know you better. It's more of a subconscious thing than anything. I don't go around judging people by their clothes as I know how it is. Some of the nicest and friendliest guys I've met have been huge fellows with long hair and 'Rage Against the Machine" shirts. Marylin Manson comes accross as an extremely malicious person but if you listen to his interviews, he's an extremely intelligent individual. The average person would be too turned off by his appearance to give him a chance. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
randomgirl59 Posted July 8, 2010 Share Posted July 8, 2010 People who dress skate are typically stereotyped as being druggies. And people who dress goth or metal are stereotyped as being angry or aggressive. That's what I meant by alienating people. Your clothing has worked against you to keep people from getting to know you better. It's more of a subconscious thing than anything. I don't go around judging people by their clothes as I know how it is. Some of the nicest and friendliest guys I've met have been huge fellows with long hair and 'Rage Against the Machine" shirts. Marylin Manson comes accross as an extremely malicious person but if you listen to his interviews, he's an extremely intelligent individual. The average person would be too turned off by his appearance to give him a chance. People will be judged and stereotyped by what they wear either way. Even more respectable preppy clothing can get people judging them as snobby or boring. People who dress sloppy are stereotyped as being sloppy in other aspects of life as well. I never heard of the druggie stereotype for skaters. Must be different elsewhere. Personally, I'd rather risk being judged by a few ignorant people instead of giving up my own personal style which makes me happy. Also, those are extreme examples of dress, well the goth look anyway. You can still express yourself through clothing that is interesting but not crazy enough to turn heads. Ultimately though, people should just wear what they want. Was just trying to explain the idea of clothing as a means of expressing oneself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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