dpressedone89 Posted June 23, 2004 Share Posted June 23, 2004 i reach but nothings there i hear but nothings said i fall on to the cold hard floor now im better off dead i see the beast with beeming red eyes it stalks me as i breathe i run but i trip and it chases me i realize there is no way to leave the warm thick air thickens in my lungs so i fall to the ground now it has caught me im in lost in my own eyes tied and bound i reach the sunlight the birghtness within but it chases me and drags me down again -stitches comments? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ForAnother Posted June 23, 2004 Share Posted June 23, 2004 I like it alot. Some parts are sketch, but there is some good stuff.. one thing is the part with the "warm thick air thickens my lungs" I would just say "warm air thickens my lungs" or something so that thick isn't used twice. But great job, like it alot. ForAnother Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
QTpie87 Posted June 23, 2004 Share Posted June 23, 2004 Nice... i always love your poems. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
under_the_pressure Posted June 25, 2004 Share Posted June 25, 2004 Once again-I like it, and relate to it. Jeez...I can't even say what I feel but you always can. ~Under~ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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