jjennmac96 Posted July 1, 2010 Share Posted July 1, 2010 My SO are trying to work things out. It has been two weeks and so far so good. I asked her yesterday while she was at work if she wanted to go in the spa. we forgot about it and ended up not going. Today she texted me and said hey I just realized we didn't go in the spa" so I replied i know let's go tonight. we can takes some wine and relax. she replied with: let's take it by ear when I get home. i'm confused. heres my question: if she didnt want to go in the spa why mention it? then tell me we'll play it by ear? can someone explain this to me? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shessofly Posted July 1, 2010 Share Posted July 1, 2010 maybe she's just acknowledging that it didn't happen and wants to do something this evening but not necessarily that. calm down, lol. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Puckdog27 Posted July 1, 2010 Share Posted July 1, 2010 Yeah, I think lets play it by ear means "well wo may up in the spa, or we may end up doing something else" Listen, if you're going to be this paranoid on every little thing, reconciliation is doomed. No one enjoys paranoia Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kia-Kaha Posted July 1, 2010 Share Posted July 1, 2010 maybe she's just acknowledging that it didn't happen and wants to do something this evening but not necessarily that. calm down, lol. Good advice. Maybe she is exhausted from a hard day at work and is not sure if she wants to do anything but fall into bed. Don't overthink it!!! So what, she didn't feel like having a spa. Maybe she has a yeast infection starting ;-) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jjennmac96 Posted July 1, 2010 Author Share Posted July 1, 2010 Good advice. Maybe she is exhausted from a hard day at work and is not sure if she wants to do anything but fall into bed. Don't overthink it!!! So what, she didn't feel like having a spa. Maybe she has a yeast infection starting ;-) Actually, funny you say something as she said she was irrated down there last night. Are spa's bad for that? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kia-Kaha Posted July 1, 2010 Share Posted July 1, 2010 Actually, funny you say something as she said she was irrated down there last night. Are spa's bad for that? Yeah, it can cause further irritation, plus it can actually spread the infection to other people in the pool. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ms Darcy Posted July 2, 2010 Share Posted July 2, 2010 Listen, if you're going to be this paranoid on every little thing, reconciliation is doomed. No one enjoys paranoia Dang right. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jjennmac96 Posted July 2, 2010 Author Share Posted July 2, 2010 Theres no trust and I'm trying to trust her again but I feel that I question her on the inside on every thing she does or doesn't do. How do I avoid the paranoia? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ms Darcy Posted July 2, 2010 Share Posted July 2, 2010 What are you paranoid about? Depending on the circumstances, it may be warranted. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jjennmac96 Posted July 2, 2010 Author Share Posted July 2, 2010 she had a brief affair 4 months ago Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ms Darcy Posted July 2, 2010 Share Posted July 2, 2010 she had a brief affair 4 months ago So, how does that relate to worrying about her wanting to wait and see about the spa? How long were you together? Was it a sexual or emotional affair? How did you find out? Did she pursue the recon? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jjennmac96 Posted July 3, 2010 Author Share Posted July 3, 2010 So, how does that relate to worrying about her wanting to wait and see about the spa? How long were you together? Was it a sexual or emotional affair? How did you find out? Did she pursue the recon? 7 years married 5 in September. More emotional than sexual, but they had sexual contact, saw text messages, supposedly she still sees the person at her work and talks to the person but says they are " just friends" now. i told her i am not comfortable having her talk to this person. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ms Darcy Posted July 3, 2010 Share Posted July 3, 2010 7 years married 5 in September. More emotional than sexual, but they had sexual contact, saw text messages, supposedly she still sees the person at her work and talks to the person but says they are " just friends" now. i told her i am not comfortable having her talk to this person. Yeah, that's a long time together. How had the marriage been? Who pursued the reconciliation? I think you need to be very careful about distinguishing between understandable concern and unnecessary paranoia. If I were you, I would be more concerned about her still talking to that guy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wheatgrass82 Posted July 3, 2010 Share Posted July 3, 2010 point of information 1: she only pointed out you didnt go in the spa. she did not request you did that night. YOU DID. POI 2: ánything via text is easily misconstrued. If unsure... assume nothing and ask her when you see her. POI 3; nice problem to have though Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jjennmac96 Posted July 3, 2010 Author Share Posted July 3, 2010 Yeah, that's a long time together. How had the marriage been? Who pursued the reconciliation? I think you need to be very careful about distinguishing between understandable concern and unnecessary paranoia. If I were you, I would be more concerned about her still talking to that guy. Marriage was fine as far as I knew, until this other person came in the picture. She wanted to separate, we did had NC, then the person dumped her and she told me she wanted to work on things. She says alot of confusing statements. Ill make an advance shell turn it down. next time I asked her if she was in the mood and i get don't ask. She'll say your not putting in an effort the turn around and tell me don't try so hard. I don't get it. I'm missing something, obviously or she wouldnt have done what she did. What am I missing? the don't ask but when I advance she turns me down and the don't try so hard but when I do that's wrong too. so confused. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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