cutedisaster-x Posted June 30, 2010 Share Posted June 30, 2010 So this past weekend, My ex-boyfriend (just close friends now, we're broke up over a year) and I were hanging out with friends and ended up making out, I ended up spending the night at his house and fooling around.. (I was a virgin) and eventually we ended up having sex. Now, I would like to do it again, I know it was just casual, but how should I bring it up to him without him thinking I actually want a relationship? Please help Link to comment
cutedisaster-x Posted June 30, 2010 Author Share Posted June 30, 2010 someonee help me haha Link to comment
jahur Posted June 30, 2010 Share Posted June 30, 2010 So this past weekend, My ex-boyfriend (just close friends now, we're broke up over a year) and I were hanging out with friends and ended up making out, I ended up spending the night at his house and fooling around.. (I was a virgin) and eventually we ended up having sex. Now, I would like to do it again, I know it was just casual, but how should I bring it up to him without him thinking I actually want a relationship? Please help firstly be careful he doesnt reject you, losing your viginity to him could make you vulnerable.... is he ok to be used for sex? will he do the booty call thang? will he go off me? these are the questions you need to ask yourself. when the novelty wears off, do you think you will still feel the same, do you think you could fall deeper than anticipated. he took your virtue, you keep on sleeping with him and you will be very familiar with how it works. which isnt a bad thing of course but, but, could you let him go? how strong attacthment will you forge. we all know (if it goes according to plan) losing your virtue is quite an important milestone in life. ask yourself all of these. Link to comment
TasmineFr Posted June 30, 2010 Share Posted June 30, 2010 Why did the two of you break up?? So for the whole year u were into the relationship with him , you never slept together ???? Link to comment
jahur Posted June 30, 2010 Share Posted June 30, 2010 also having casual sex with him is a safe bet, because of course you know him. but ultimately it takes 2 to tango. Link to comment
cutedisaster-x Posted June 30, 2010 Author Share Posted June 30, 2010 We weren't together a year, we were only together offically only a short while. We have been on and off before and after that alot, but we broke up because he wanted his ex-girlfriend at the time. We've always been close though, it took me a long while to get over it all. We didn't have sex during any of this time until now, we have had oral, and the such, but I've only now lost my virginity. I do still have feelings for him, not as strong, but I do, I would rather be with him than anyone else sexually.. or even to be with him, but he doesn't want a relationship, he's cheated with other girlfriends, and possibly me that I don't know of, so I wouldn't exactly trust him in a relationship. He always told me he'd be the one I would lose it to, but I'd tell him he missed his chance. Link to comment
cutedisaster-x Posted June 30, 2010 Author Share Posted June 30, 2010 oh! And the night we did have sex, before it we were talking and he asked me to stay to his house and said we would have sex, I laughed and went along with it jokingly, I wasn't sure if he was, but I ended up staying there. He asked me multiple times if I was sure I wanted to, if I was ready and the such. I thought that was nice instead of him just assuming I wanted to. I just feel safe with him. Link to comment
guynextdoor Posted June 30, 2010 Share Posted June 30, 2010 If you still have feelings for him and want casual sex, you are setting yourself up to getting hurt. I don't think this is a good idea.. Link to comment
HeartGoesOn Posted June 30, 2010 Share Posted June 30, 2010 Are you saying that since you "wouldn't trust him in a relationship," you would trust him with having casual sex with you? I hope that you've considered the fact that if he may be sleeping with others, you could be at risk for an "STD." Link to comment
cutedisaster-x Posted June 30, 2010 Author Share Posted June 30, 2010 Are you saying that since you "wouldn't trust him in a relationship," you would trust him with having casual sex with you? I hope that you've considered the fact that if he may be sleeping with others, you could be at risk for an "STD." You do have a strong point there. Link to comment
jahur Posted June 30, 2010 Share Posted June 30, 2010 You do have a strong point there. ah, didnt know he was a cheater, yeah std's wise up hun!!!! Link to comment
arcadefire Posted July 1, 2010 Share Posted July 1, 2010 If you say it took a long time for you to get over him, having casual sex with him is only going to pull you back in, and the more time you spend with him, the less time you are spending with Mr. Right. Link to comment
Crazyaboutdogs Posted July 1, 2010 Share Posted July 1, 2010 You just lost your virginity to a player...one who made a bet with himself that he could "pop your cherry" as that derogatory expression goes. If this guy was TRULY your friend, he would NOT have had this bet with himself (and who knows who else) that you would lose your virginity to him. How old is this guy, 15? He sure acts like it. I would not suggest continuing casual sex with him, especially since you have feelings for him...he certainly doesn't really respect you very much..and probably doesn't respect women in general...because players don't respect women. I would suggest you distance yourself from him so you are not tempted again....he will rip your heart out the longer you continue this. Link to comment
pl3asehelp Posted July 1, 2010 Share Posted July 1, 2010 You just lost your virginity to a player...one who made a bet with himself that he could "pop your cherry" as that derogatory expression goes. If this guy was TRULY your friend, he would NOT have had this bet with himself (and who knows who else) that you would lose your virginity to him. How old is this guy, 15? He sure acts like it. I would not suggest continuing casual sex with him, especially since you have feelings for him...he certainly doesn't really respect you very much..and probably doesn't respect women in general...because players don't respect women. I would suggest you distance yourself from him so you are not tempted again....he will rip your heart out the longer you continue this. Yeah, it made me so sad to read this. This guys sounds awful. And to have lost your virginity to someone who thinks of you like this seems a sad, sad, tragedy to me. Link to comment
Jd1983 Posted July 1, 2010 Share Posted July 1, 2010 I'm strongly against sleeping with an ex, especially one that you have feelings for. #1 - He left you to be with someone else #2 - He mentioned that he was going to take your virginity #3 - He doesn't want a relationship Why are you setting yourself to get hurt? If you continue having a sexual relationship with him, you will always want more. Have you considered the other partners that he could be having? You are just allowing him to have his cake and eating it to. In his eyes, you will never be gf material, and why would he want something serious when he can just get it from you and everyone else with no string attached? Please do yourself a favor, and let him go. There are plenty of other guys out there, who are willing to have a relationship. You deserve better. Link to comment
SheBrokeMe Posted July 1, 2010 Share Posted July 1, 2010 Unless your very, very sexually mature and understand exactly what your asking for.. And being safe.. Then I wouldnt recommend traveling down this road. For most people, having sex WILL build an emotional connection. * * * * buddies hardly ever work out because someone always ends up getting emotionally attached. Thats not even to mention that having sex with someone who is not monogamous with you is just begging for STD's... As said above. Link to comment
cutedisaster-x Posted July 3, 2010 Author Share Posted July 3, 2010 Thank you all so much, I guess I wasn't really thinking it fully through. I knew/know what he's like but I still wanted that. It was good to see everyone against it and it'll help me to stay away. I've always felt I wanted to lose my virginity to him, but now I see it was pretty stupid of me. Oh well, what's done is done, and all I can do is change from here out ! And he's 19 haha. He is really over confident lately and that pisses me off, but unfortunately I was still after him, I just hope from now on I can control myself around him. Link to comment
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