How can i get my confidence back??

[katyg79]

I have just split up with my ex now for 2 months after being with each other for 2 years

 

i am sufferring from low self esteem and find being how i was before i met him very difficult.

 

My ex shouted at me alot and didnt make me feel great and cheated in the end, making me feel worthless and rejected.

 

How can i get back the confidence i had? any tips or ideas. i have been out with my friends since and they say that i am a different person now.. i want the old me back. the girl who was fun and could talk to anyone!!

 

I am 31 so time is ticking by!!! thanks for listening xx

[guynextdoor]

Maybe its time for a make over? Buy a sexy summer dress, go to a spa, get your nails done, that should get your confidence back.

[Brigadoon]

Makeover sounds like a great idea!

If you have a look at transactional analysis it tells us that our thoughts affect our feelings which affect our behaviour.

Interestingly we can turn it around too; by changing our behaviour we can change our feelings and therefore change our thoughts, "resetting" them and allowing a much more positive thoughts/feelings/behaviour "flow"

So identify where you are lacking in confidence and address that.

When I was with my last partner I never had the time or money to look after myself or buy clothes so that was where I started.

What I do now when I'm feeling down is have a shower, shave my legs etc, moisturise, do a facial, dry and style my hair and give myself a pedicure and manicure. This takes about four hours and I do it in front of my laptop watching a couple of DVDs or listening to music.

First couple of times I did it I felt ridiculous, like I was fifteen again but now I think it's sad that I thought it was okay to spend no time and effort on myself and my appearance.

So I basically give myself four hours worth of pure indulgence, it costs me nothing and I feel so much better because I know I look good at the end of it.

Try it, it worked wonders for me