LukeAlexander Posted August 21, 2010 Author Share Posted August 21, 2010 Thanks for the honest comments guys, really appreciate it I don't know what to do to be honest. My therapist says that it could be a good (yet painfull) experience to meet up with her. I just wanna end this friggin' nightmare, and maybe if i see her after all this time we can somehow "close" the whole thing once and for all? It's so confusing: i'm still suffering every single day from not being with her anymore. And it's the "not knowing part" which seems to hurt most. I haven't got a clue how she's doing, what she's feeling etc. That's also the reason why i can't seem to move on: lack of closure. My gut feeling keeps telling me that this ain't over yet and that maybe, jus maybe this period of separation could be the vital element we both needed in order to get a new start (i know: this sounds naive). But whether i like it or not: i still have hope. I might be hurt even more but that's the chance i'm willing to take. When i look back we had 90% of great times and only 10% of troubles. I'm willing to work on that 10% through personal change etc. And if she really has BpD, atleast i'll know that i gave her everything i got. It maybe sounds crazy or stupid, but that's just the way i feel. I know i just have to give it all I got... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cheetarah Posted August 22, 2010 Share Posted August 22, 2010 I don't understand why your therapist would even advocate that. Look, if you suspect she has untreated BPD, there is no such thing as the sort of closure you're looking for. NO SUCH THING. You're going to be tremendously disappointed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LukeAlexander Posted August 26, 2010 Author Share Posted August 26, 2010 Thanks for all the great insights. Well, i couldn't resist in meeting her (she took her son with her and i really love that kid aswell). The meeting was friendly, casual. She stayed remote though. After dinner we said goodbye and she asked me to stay in touch. I agreed. So today i sent her a text with just a friendly "hallo" and asked her -if she had time- we could maybe meet up again this week-end. I already anticipated this: she replied she didn't have time but she would get back in touch with me... Guess that's the way it's gonna be, until she finally has the courage to tell me she found someone else (which i strongly believe is the case). I know it's silly to stay in touch with her and keep feeling hurt, but I just can't seem to erase her from my life and my heart. I really don't know how long i can take this anymore but my gut feeling tells me that pretty soon she'll open up to me or atleast tell me the thruth about who she's seeing and what is going on. I'm just gonna be strong and try to meet other people meanwhile, hoping to see the day when I can finally turn this page and really move on. It's just so friggin' hard letting go of someone you really love and care for (well actually it's her and her son). The notion of giving up on my "family" is just heartbreaking... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ArtistGuy70 Posted August 27, 2010 Share Posted August 27, 2010 Maybe this is wrong but my ex gf was thought to be BPD from two psych professionals I spoke to about the whole situation. 5 years worth. They both believe her to be BPD but she never went in for an exam. She refused, saying she was just depressed and taking meds (but refused therapy). I'll tell you how the story ends.... 5 years....i do nothing but save her all the time (the waif), prop her up, get her back into modeling, support every goal she has, etc. etc. We go on a cruise. We have a blast. She even tells me what she loves about us. How sweet. One week later, she comes over, no warning and ends things. It was the third time this happened.....unsure about her feelings....not sure i am the one.....relationship is not going anywhere....blah blah blah. She cries, carries on so I suggest a break instead. She agrees. I am NC. I find out she goes away within two weeks with her 55 year old (20 years older than her) married boss that apparently she has had a thing with since she was about 25 off and on. A guy who she lied about to me for years. She was caught, tried to lie (as only a bpd could), finally admitted to SOME of it (I even saw the pictures), then I ended it for good. No remorse really, just some empty sorry's. Just despondent and focusing on herself and her trauma. Run man. Run away. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LukeAlexander Posted August 27, 2010 Author Share Posted August 27, 2010 Yeah. It hurts like hell. Especially because the kid considered me as the 2nd thing he loved most (after his mom). It's hard to have that taken away. He's a really cool and sweet kid who sure as hell could use a "dad-like" person in his life instead of being raised by her parents (they bring and collect him from school, feed him etc.. his mom always makes them do all that unfortunately). It's weird. She wanted a dog aswell, same thing: her parents take care of the dog. It's like she wants the "regular" stuff in her life but doesn't care about the responsabilities that go with it... She still has a lot of growing up to do I guess... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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