World cup vs me (the gf)

[IphigeniaSaysHi]

I don't think the OP is getting THAT upset about it, she's just bummed out. It all comes down to deciding if she can handle this permanently. I don't know how serious they are, but like I said before... He would be missing a lot more of their time together down the line. He likely won't change.

 

She shouldn't have to accept what she doesn't feel right to and he shouldn't give up what he loves.

[toughtimes]

Him wanting to watch all games is ok. You shouldn't feel bad about it. It's a big event that comes up just every 4 years.

 

You should however do something yourself instead of just hanging around waiting for him.

 

But then you've mentioned he wouldn't be going to your birthday. Man what a jerk. I'd get it if he'd want to go to dinner with you AND watch the game, but seriously, ditching you on such ocasion... that's just wrong.

[Citlali]

And I fail to see how it's any different. One may be more socially acceptable, but that's about it.

 

You're completely misunderstanding the relevant difference. There is no World Cup of weed smoking that occurs every four years and the schedule of which he couldn't change. There was no pre-arranged agreement which your boyfriend clearly told you about and to which you agreed. Thus, his decision to buy and smoke weed was entirely within his control and discretion. He didn't have to be torn between attending some special weed smoking event he had told you about and hanging out with you. That IS the big difference which changes everything.

 

If I were the OP, I'd arrange something with him early in the day, maybe a nice breakfast, and then I'd go to dinner with my family. There is always a way to work around the game, and because he was upfront about it long ago and she agreed, she should be more than willing to do that. It's not like he is saying he won't celebrate her birthday with her at all even if there is no game on. Nowhere did I see her say that he insists on missing her birthday no matter what. She just seems unwilling to budge about making separate plans with him around the game. That's unfortunate, though, as she knew his plans before she arranged dinner with her family. Plus, there is no need to celebrate her birthday with him at the exact same time as with her parents.

[Firiel]

Wrong. It was a surprisingly fulfilling relationship and I did not feel neglected until the end when he started doing things like that.

 

Anyway, clearly there are a lot of people who don't agree with me. This whole "every four years" thing is still mind boggling to me. All that matters is that both people in the relationship feel the same way and thankfully, the other person in mine does (just asked).

 

 

I guess what I was trying to point out that you didn't seem to be describing one incident but rather a series of incidents (even if they didn't start till the end of the relationship). For the OP, it seems like it is (at this point) an isolated incident where she wishes he would do X instead of Y. If he made a habit of choosing football over her, I would totally support her putting her foot down. But because of the circumstances surrounding this particular instance and the possibility for a birthday celebration at a different time or on a different day, I think she should cut him some slack in this case.

[Siriana]

I'd get it if he'd want to go to dinner with you AND watch the game, but seriously, ditching you on such ocasion... that's just wrong.

 

yes, ....op didnt say that - is he willing to do both on the same day?

[gem90]

Wow I didnt mean to cause quite such a disagreement between everyone!

 

I don't think the OP is getting THAT upset about it, she's just bummed out.

 

This. Alot of you seem to think that I'm going crazy over this or something. I'm really not! Like Iphigenia says, I'm not that upset, I'm just a bit bummed out because of course I want my boyfriend to come out for dinner with me on my birthday. I understand that this is a major event and that he has such a love for football and doesn't want to miss it, I get it, its fine, again just unfortunate its on the same day as my birthday.

As bored as I am with the world cup, I was more just interested in what other people thought of the situation and what they would do and things rather than it being a problem I needed a solution for.

 

I can't remember who was it that said it, so forgive me, but he did actually agree to come out for my birthday meal with me and my parents when it was originally arranged, until he found out the football was on at the same time. I didnt arrange it without letting him know, then invite him, and get annoyed because he would be watching football. Sorry if that is how I made it sound in my previous post and confusing everyone!

 

It's fine though, I'm sure we'll get round to organising something nice when we're both free again and can properly celebrate.

Thanks

[Perfect Dark]

EDIT: Just read the thread again. Everyone has hobbies at the end of the day.