bit3yerlip Posted June 25, 2010 Share Posted June 25, 2010 All my life, ive been loving. i always thought i was in love each time that i got into a relationship. I get weak whenever it comes to guys/love, i thought it makes me happiest, i did everything for love, i'd give my all for them. from one guy to another, from each failed 'love' to another, i kept on holding on to love. Nothing could stop me from love it's like a drug. Everything else in life wasnt important to me. until 1 year ago (21 years later) when i got my heart ripped off the worst kind of bad, i changed. i am more excited about life, i am happier, i am free, i feel better, i feel peaceful, i am alive for the first time. Work, friends, and family keeps me going. I tried to forget about guys but instead of hating guys, i come to understand and appreciate guys more. but i was scared of getting close to them. Recently, ive been asked out on dates, and i gladly accepted their invitations. nope i did not end up in any dating/romantic relationship with them after the dates. i am very picky now. but i caught myself getting overly excited (how i dress, make up, etc) and this reminds me of how i get so weak and blind when i was in love. even when some of the dates didnt go well, i get home and beat myself up about it. im tired of it, so i decided to stop dating around until i am sure that he is what i am looking for. this is to lessen my 'beating myself up' moment after the date. ANd now, i think i like a guy friend of mine. we did not go on dates. we only hungout. we are starting to hangout more often. i know it, i am falling for him. but i dont want to be weak again like last time. this guy may be starting to like me, but i have the feeling that my love addiction is still somewhere in me. which is why it is time for me to take action. So, how am i to seriously not get weak and distracted from love? i want to put work, friends and family the most powerful energy for me, but i get distracted easily. do i disappear myself whenever i start to like a guy? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stanton Posted June 25, 2010 Share Posted June 25, 2010 Why are you just hanging out with your guy friend and not actually dating him? Just curious. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eclipse11 Posted June 25, 2010 Share Posted June 25, 2010 Hi Bit3yerlip...I'm kinda the same - so now I just make sure I DEFINITELY do something without my boyfriend, with other people, at least twice a week and I feel much better for it... It's just about being disciplined and getting the balance right...Eclipse x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yokohama_mama Posted June 25, 2010 Share Posted June 25, 2010 Your previous pattern sounds more like a desperate need for connection rather than love. However getting excited and preparing carefully, plus playing back how things went, sounds normal, I think everyone does it to a lesser or greater extent. With this guy friend, it sounds like you have a chance to allow things to progress at a slower, more stable pace. Things that develop more slowly are often more stable and long lasting. You know better now than to focus 100% of your time and energy on him; you know that won't make either one of you happy. If you want to have an intimate relationship you will have to open up and trust again. There is always a risk of getting hurt. But your experience and the wisdom you've earned will guide you to make better choices and lower that risk. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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