cpark111 Posted June 24, 2010 Share Posted June 24, 2010 It's been 5 months since i left my ex bf and it's been 3 weeks since I stopped seeing him and its been 3 days since I changed my number and stopped talking to him, He kept playing with my emotions he kept hurting me when he new I missed him. I just want to die, I don't feel anything I'm just so numb, theres a new guy I started seeing and hes nice and hot and everything but I'm just so numb I feel nothing, I keep thinking about my ex all the time, I keep missing him and wondering how he did this too me. Since i left my ex he is now seeing the girl he was cheating on me with for an entire year and he says he's engaged to her and he loves her when he still slept with me 3 weeks ago. It makes no sense how does he call that love he basically was cheating on her with me 3 weeks ago. He called me the other day needed my help for something and decided to play with my heart and head again and stab at me some more for the fun of it, that's when I decided I needed to get away from him and change my number before I end up killing myself cuz of how much pain he's putting me through. After everything I have ever done for him and his family more then this girl has ever and will ever do for him, this girl he cheated on me with who hes now with, he lets me leave and walk away like i was nothing and doesn't fight for me. It's killing me to realize he never gave a dame about me and just used me for 2years....I dunno what to do? and now hes brother who I was very close to is angry at me and i dunno why and he wont talk to me at all....everything just hurts...I want to be put out!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MsDexter Posted June 24, 2010 Share Posted June 24, 2010 I feel exactly the same way I can't enjoy anything for me it's been 10 days and 6 of no contact and I feel like dying. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
taylorhill Posted June 24, 2010 Share Posted June 24, 2010 Write a diary of everything he did that you do not like, and when you feel weak re-read that list. I think you're putting most of the blame on yourself instead of him. Do not beat yourself up, You are on the right track by changing your phone number, it's all for the best! You deserve better Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cpark111 Posted June 26, 2010 Author Share Posted June 26, 2010 I wish that would help, but I can't see that writeing about him on paper would help me, I'm very close with his brother and it sucks because he does infact look a bit like my ex but he has a wonderful personality and hes so sweet and amazing and I love spending time with him, he makes me laugh and feel better about myself, but honestly sometimes it's also hard because I'm reminded of my ex when I look at him or something he says about his brother and I have to expect that I mean thats his brother and all. I hate that but I love him he's become one of my close friends that I tell almost everything too. I don't know, I just want to be with my ex, I miss his smile his smell hes eyes his laugh and I just miss everything about him, the good the bad, I just want him and everything that comes with him I don't care, I'd put up with anything to be in his arms, I am completely in-love with him and I dunno what to do, I'm trying to see someone but I feel nothing for him and I'm afraid I will never feel anything for anyone else anymore, and I'm fine with that, I don't mind dieing alone. we all came into this world alone and we all will leave this world alone, but I don't want to be without him. This emptyness this pain it's soooo much. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TurtleDove12 Posted June 27, 2010 Share Posted June 27, 2010 Take a step back. Analyze what makes you feel good, and what's troubling you. Then move forward with what makes you feel good, and try to trash the rest. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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