Does this make me a creep?

[jungledrums]

If you don't think what you did was creepy (this does not mean you are a creep, just means, you did something that is not always acceptable behavior), then why are you asking us if it was creepy what you did?

 

A million reasons why she didn't return your calls/letter, texts, etc.

 

For me, if a guy couldn't even bother to remember something askey as I have important plans this weekend, yet persisted in asking, I would place him in the bad listener and self-absorbed pile. Just saying. Keep in mind, totally don't know how she would see it, but a person who's interested would have made a counter-offer, example, "I'm busy this weekend, but free this such and such day." And she didn't. So instead, you texted, called, and wrote.

 

 

Just because I don't think it was creepy doesn't mean she probably didn't. I am giving my reasons for why I don't think it was creepy. In turn, you can analyze my stance and therefore decide if indeed it was STILL a creepything to do. That's all. You may very well still think it's creepy. I just wanted to clear a few misconceptions.

 

And I am with you 100% on the bad listener pile. I completely realized that after having asked her out when she had clearly told me she was busy. I'm hoping she comes around, really. She's a great girl. It's not like I'm obsessing over her. I have other girls, I just hate to lose her! She's a quality girl. Not many like her. Forgive the analogy, but if you have a lot of coins and somewhere in there you have a valuable one, you want to make sure you don't lose it!

[Kaiser_Soze]

I'm missing something here. Was it almost midnight? As she pulled off into the distance did her car resemble a pumpkin? Who does that? Thats cinema style... Did her phone ring? Was she late for work? Was there a tan line where a wedding ring should go? Her actions seem to give the impression that she had a moment of passion and regret. Almost like she was doing something that she felt conflicted about. Is it possible she's involved?

 

Don't try and contact her again. If you see her simply apologize by saying "hey I'm sorry if I upset you, the last thing I want to do is make you feel uncomfortable." Then leave it at that. If she realizes your not a creep, she may approach you. The last thing you want to do is to keep pushing or forcing.

[jungledrums]

I'm missing something here. Was it almost midnight? As she pulled off into the distance did her car resemble a pumpkin? Who does that? Thats cinema style... Did her phone ring? Was she late for work? Was there a tan line where a wedding ring should go? Her actions seem to give the impression that she had a moment of passion and regret. Almost like she was doing something that she felt conflicted about. Is it possible she's involved?

 

Don't try and contact her again. If you see her simply apologize by saying "hey I'm sorry if I upset you, the last thing I want to do is make you feel uncomfortable." Then leave it at that. If she realizes your not a creep, she may approach you. The last thing you want to do is to keep pushing or forcing.

 

 

Wow, now this is creepy! When we took our walk and were on the swings she said that at midnight she was gonna turn into a pumpkin. It was 11pm. I corrected her and told her that it was the stagecoach, not the girl, that turned into a pumpkin. She laughed, realizing her mistake and said, oh yea.

 

I'm not gonna contact her at all. I've already decided that. The letter was my last straw.

[tattoobunnie]

I have other girls

 

And she probably has other guys too on the line.

 

Either way...it's nobody's loss. You had one date. I like to think of it this way. After a great date that doesn't lead to a second, which has only happened to me once ever (hahah, true though). I like to pretend they are a hermaphrodite (no offense to people who are!)...so really I'm dodging a bullet.

[Vuvuzela]

Question> How did you approach/flirt/get friendly with her in the book store? I need to learn how to do that. How to pick up women in places like those.

[Catdancer]

Question> How did you approach/flirt/get friendly with her in the book store? I need to learn how to do that. How to pick up women in places like those.

 

You comment on the book that I'm reading/looking at/buying, strike up a convo about books of that genre and ask to buy me a coffee at the little coffee bar in the store. Voila.

[jungledrums]

And she probably has other guys too on the line.

 

Either way...it's nobody's loss. You had one date. I like to think of it this way. After a great date that doesn't lead to a second, which has only happened to me once ever (hahah, true though). I like to pretend they are a hermaphrodite (no offense to people who are!)...so really I'm dodging a bullet.

 

And this is the first time this has happened to me too. Usually, I'm the one turning down girls. I doubt she has other guys. Really. You can just tell.

[jungledrums]

Question> How did you approach/flirt/get friendly with her in the book store? I need to learn how to do that. How to pick up women in places like those.

 

 

It's easy man. You can get a girl's number in less than a minute. First of all, girls can smell fear, so you have to be confident. If a girl makes eye contact with you and even smiles a bit, then you go for it. Now keep in mind, that doesn't mean you have to approach every girl you make eye contact with. Be selective. You know what, send me your email address in a message. I will email you some material.

 

The way it happened with me. I was sitting at a Barnes and Noble doing some work and she asked if the table next to me was taken. I said No and continued with my work. She sat next to me and she pulled out her laptop and began browsing who knows what. I glanced here and there but continued working. I set a pen on my book, it rolled off the table between us and she picked it up for me. I then asked her what she was studying and she explained. We just continued talking and then I brought up wine and she said she loved wine and then I said, well I know a great place, we should check it out sometime. She said YA! And I said, give me your number. She's like, Ok and as I reached for my phone, she reached for a piece of paper. When she saw me with my phone, she said, oh! I'm old fashioned. I said, it's cool, tore off a piece of paper and had her write her number for me. We talked about the way things used to be before cell phones and we hit it off.

 

My advice to you. Get into wine. It's classy and classy girls love wine and cheese. Find a cool spot in town that is a winery and become familiar with the staff.

 

There are all kinds of girls: beer girls, cocktail girls, wine girls and even non-alcohol girls. I just happen to love wine. So if you're into any of the other girls, just replace wine with whatever you're into and proceed.

[Day_Walker]

It seems to me that with all of the OP's "control" he got burned by his own game. Whether you realized it or not you were playing a game with her. She managed to do the classic move and she flipped it on you, because she initially chased you and then you started chasing her.

 

The problems started after the date, and you contacted her. Which is what the OP should not have done, he was the one with the power and control and he gave it away. Everything else is downhill from there. She is either playing a game with you or has something else going on. Either way you should just drop it.

[jungledrums]

It seems to me that with all of the OP's "control" he got burned by his own game. Whether you realized it or not you were playing a game with her. She managed to do the classic move and she flipped it on you, because she initially chased you and then you started chasing her.

 

The problems started after the date, and you contacted her. Which is what the OP should not have done, he was the one with the power and control and he gave it away. Everything else is downhill from there. She is either playing a game with you or has something else going on. Either way you should just drop it.

 

Agreed. I mentioned that in an earlier reply. But what's an OP?

[Puckdog27]

I didn't recount the entire date in three pages.

No, what I meant was, if you recorded you're whole time with her it wouldnt fill up 3 pages, and because of that, she probably found the bredth of your letter compared to how much time you even spent together kinda odd.

 

That would have been the ultimate game killer right there. She had told me on our date that she was looking for someone to be a sweetheart to her.

 

 

Stop thinking of things as a game. You showed gamer mentality in your description of the things that lead up to the date, which is why I said she probably figured you out as the playa you're trying to be (or at least portrayed yourself as)

[jungledrums]

No, what I meant was, if you recorded you're whole time with her it wouldnt fill up 3 pages, and because of that, she probably found the bredth of your letter compared to how much time you even spent together kinda odd.[Q]

 

I see what you're saying and I can see why I may not ever get a response from the letter. Not even a thank you.

 

Problem solved. Lesson learned.

[jungledrums]

SHE FREAKIN CALLED ME RIGHT NOW!!!

 

She said it was sooooo sweet. A little weird, but sweet. She was curious how I had found her address and so I told her that I had guessed. I didn't know her last name except for the first letter and so I performed a search using the first letter of her last name along with an * (asterisk). So a few popped up and I narrowed it to hers, which in the end, was still not 100% sure.

 

She said she loved the CD and told me how her brother and sister wanted a copy and also asked me about an event I had invited her to and when it was.

 

She did make clear that she wasn't looking for anything serious (something I made clear in my letter too) and so I said, cool! We're on the same page. We talked about setting up a future date but nothing in stone. I told her to call me when she's not busy and so there you have it!

 

So elated!

[Catdancer]

Great!!! I'm so glad that things worked out for you!!!

[jungledrums]

She told me she opened the package like an 8 year old little girl opening a gift.

 

It's funny, everyone I told, TOLD me it wouldn't work. Even I was already getting discouraged. Then this happens and I break the news and one of my friends says in disbelief, "Of course, this would only happen to you!" hahaha.