Here we go again

[John Deere]

so i got a text message last night @ 1130 from her. I think she was just pinging me to see if i would respond.

 

Stupidly i did respond. I told her i missed her. I told her i just woke up from a dream that she was in.

 

I know this is the NC phase but i was honest in my reply. It wasnt an appeal to see her or an apology or some pathetic attempt at eliciting sympathy. It was just my get reaction to getting a text from her when none was expected.

 

Sometimes honesty works. She acknowledged my reply but nothing else. Which helps me because I really am trying to get distance on this. And for some reason i feel noticeably better today.

 

I know that Non Contact should be 100%. But theres an exception to every rule I guess. If you get a chance to say "Hey you have me hurting here but im not asking for quarter" then you are showing them (not saying) that you are strong.

 

And one more thing, if i had not responded to her text she might have gotten desperate and asked ME for something. Which is also not the goal here. Right?

[bungalo]

I'm not a fanatic about NC. I have no doubt that I will talk to my ex again. The difference now is I don't want to reconcile. It's liberating in a way because if she doesn't like what I say....oh wellll. I am not up to going for another round, and I doubt if she is either. The thought I'm having tonight is I can be myself warts and all..and if she doesn't like it...ohhhhh wellll...I was trying like a mad dog to be THE GUY....now I don't have to.