Mercurial Girl Posted June 16, 2010 Share Posted June 16, 2010 # That night, before I knew anything had happened, he said he has something I'm not going to like. He then showed me the picture that had been taken less than an hour earlier when I was out of sight of him and this comedienne touching tongues. It's like he wanted to cause trouble. That's really sick of him. I really have to wonder if he got off on hurting you. He sure seems to enjoy it. Never give him or anyone else that power again. ugh...I want to strangle the guy for you Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Applewhite Posted June 16, 2010 Share Posted June 16, 2010 What kind of person are you to put up with this sh!t? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pumpkinmoon Posted June 16, 2010 Author Share Posted June 16, 2010 That's really sick of him. I really have to wonder if he got off on hurting you. He sure seems to enjoy it. Never give him or anyone else that power again. ugh...I want to strangle the guy for you I actually wondered whether it was all planned. But then I think how could it have been without the comedienne being in on the plan too. He showed me the picture with a smile on his face. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pumpkinmoon Posted June 16, 2010 Author Share Posted June 16, 2010 What kind of person are you to put up with this sh!t? I don't know. I didn't want to lose him. I wanted the person who he was before back. I kept hoping things would change. That he would realise what he had. I couldn't give up. I'm pathetic. Even after all he has done, I am sat here in tears thinking about him when he is probably going about his day feeling like he has just lost a sock. I started seeing myself the way I thought he saw me. Worthless. Ugly. I would get ready to go out and make an effort but I felt ugly. If I was typing a text to him and read the words, I would think how boring I was, even with what I would write. My own words to myself seemed boring. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Applewhite Posted June 16, 2010 Share Posted June 16, 2010 Honestly you don't sound boring, but he sounds like a phyco crackhead. Get yourself out of it. Why don't you do something fun tonight. Is there anything interesting you've wanted to try out in a while but never have? A dance class, a painting class, somewhere you wanted to go? Where are you, are you close to the water? Maybe some water sports? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cognitive_Canine Posted June 16, 2010 Share Posted June 16, 2010 I'm so happy that you dumped him. What an awful person he was to you! Stick to your guns, TSF! You are strong and do not need horrible men like him in your life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pumpkinmoon Posted June 16, 2010 Author Share Posted June 16, 2010 Honestly you don't sound boring, but he sounds like a phyco crackhead. Get yourself out of it. Why don't you do something fun tonight. Is there anything interesting you've wanted to try out in a while but never have? A dance class, a painting class, somewhere you wanted to go? Where are you, are you close to the water? Maybe some water sports? I'm in the UK. I have work tonight 8-12am. That should keep my mind off things. I'm going to start to learn the piano. A friend is going to teach me to play when I am ready. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Applewhite Posted June 16, 2010 Share Posted June 16, 2010 I'm in the UK. I have work tonight 8-12am. That should keep my mind off things. I'm going to start to learn the piano. A friend is going to teach me to play when I am ready. That's a WONDERFUL idea. I wish I had a friend that would teach me. I learn fast if someone shows me - not so much on my own. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pumpkinmoon Posted June 16, 2010 Author Share Posted June 16, 2010 I'm so happy that you dumped him. What an awful person he was to you! Stick to your guns, TSF! You are strong and do not need horrible men like him in your life. He basically dumped me. I just got the ball rolling. He didn't care that I did. It doesn't matter though either way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cognitive_Canine Posted June 16, 2010 Share Posted June 16, 2010 He basically dumped me. I just got the ball rolling. He didn't care that I did. It doesn't matter though either way. He seems to dump you as a defense before you can get to it first though. Considering your history, whenever you caught him in something awful, his response was to dump you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pumpkinmoon Posted June 16, 2010 Author Share Posted June 16, 2010 He seems to dump you as a defense before you can get to it first though. Considering your history, whenever you caught him in something awful, his response was to dump you. Yes. I never thought of it like that before. Why would that be? I think it's because he didn't want to deal with the stress of me being upset. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IphigeniaSaysHi Posted June 16, 2010 Share Posted June 16, 2010 He did what he did because you were a free ride and a game to him. I really believe what someone said that he probably sat back like "wow, I can't believe she still puts up with me. hah." He just got what he wanted and threw the rest of you aside like scraps. Not acceptable. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cognitive_Canine Posted June 16, 2010 Share Posted June 16, 2010 Yes. I never thought of it like that before. Why would that be? I think it's because he didn't want to deal with the stress of me being upset. It's a defense mechanism. He hurts you before you can hurt him. He's childish and selfish for playing with your feelings like this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FarthestEdge Posted June 16, 2010 Share Posted June 16, 2010 He basically dumped me. As far as I can tell, that's the kindest thing he's done for you in years. Now you can take some time for yourself, put all your positive energy into you, instead of that black hole you thought was a 'relationship', and actually get something out of it, and grow. TSF, my advice is to do just that, take some time to find happiness by yourself. Then if any man ever BEGINS to treat you like that again, you will scrape him off without all this heartache and self-blame, not take it over and over, simply because you are scared of being alone. Be alone. Find happiness being alone. Then no man will ever be able to use that fear as a tool to supress your self-respect. And hopefully, the next relationship will be with a man who is willing to give as you are, and you will have a mutually respectful, healthy relationship. You deserve the kind of partner you are willing to be. So be that to yourself for awhile. Take care, and don't look back. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iBroken Posted June 16, 2010 Share Posted June 16, 2010 Wow - sounds to me like you won in letting this guy go DO NOT TAKE HIM BACK Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
metrogirl Posted June 16, 2010 Share Posted June 16, 2010 He was giving you signal after signal after signal that he wasn't into you. You stood idly by like a lost puppy waiting for him to scratch your ear while he went out with the next person. He probably liked what you could do for him, but that was probably it. You were convienent for him but certainly not a love interest. You deserve soooooooooo much more. Don't ever stand around waiting for a man to love you while he's clearly walking all over you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pumpkinmoon Posted June 16, 2010 Author Share Posted June 16, 2010 It's a defense mechanism. He hurts you before you can hurt him. He's childish and selfish for playing with your feelings like this. It was never possible for me to hurt him because he didn't care about it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pumpkinmoon Posted June 16, 2010 Author Share Posted June 16, 2010 You are all right. I have a hard time rationalising that he just didn't care. Some part of me believes that he did or does but he won't allow himself to. It was the severe lack of respect. Soon after we were back together the first time, he stood there and watched his friend call me a (c word) over and over with a smirk on his face before finally putting his finger to his friends lips in a bid to stop him. I can't remember what the circumstances were, it was said in a jokey way, but still over and over. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IphigeniaSaysHi Posted June 16, 2010 Share Posted June 16, 2010 It was the severe lack of self respect. I have to pull a "fixed it for you". I know it sounds harsh, but only you let those things happen. Only you can prevent this sort of thing from happening again. It is no one's job to respect you but you. Show up to that job and do it well! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
diamond78 Posted June 16, 2010 Share Posted June 16, 2010 You are all right. I have a hard time rationalising that he just didn't care. Some part of me believes that he did or does but he won't allow himself to. It was the severe lack of respect. Soon after we were back together the first time, he stood there and watched his friend call me a (c word) over and over with a smirk on his face before finally putting his finger to his friends lips in a bid to stop him. I can't remember what the circumstances were, it was said in a jokey way, but still over and over. I think I would have punched both of them in the face. No man that cared about his woman would stand for that. His family is shady and clearly he was taught to be just as trifling. Good riddance to bad rubbish! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
metrogirl Posted June 16, 2010 Share Posted June 16, 2010 You are all right. I have a hard time rationalising that he just didn't care. Some part of me believes that he did or does but he won't allow himself to. It was the severe lack of respect. Soon after we were back together the first time, he stood there and watched his friend call me a (c word) over and over with a smirk on his face before finally putting his finger to his friends lips in a bid to stop him. I can't remember what the circumstances were, it was said in a jokey way, but still over and over. His friend called you that and he did nothing? My boyfriend would never allow anyone to call me that, he would have knocked someone senseless. Not saying violence is the answer, I'm just sayin. I hope you are realizing now, how much better off you are. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pumpkinmoon Posted June 16, 2010 Author Share Posted June 16, 2010 I have to pull a "fixed it for you". I know it sounds harsh, but only you let those things happen. Only you can prevent this sort of thing from happening again. It is no one's job to respect you but you. Show up to that job and do it well! You're right. I lost all self respect so I don't blame him for not repsecting me. I think though that he is incapable of respecting women full stop. When we first got together, one of his friends and my friend were dating, although it didn't last. He told her something about my boyfriend and then she told me. His friend who was sexually inexperienced had a lesson from my ex on, and I'm sorry if this is too graphic, how to use a finger on a women. He demonstrated what to do on his ex before me in front of his friend. I was uncomfortable with knowing that right from the start. It's sick really. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pumpkinmoon Posted June 16, 2010 Author Share Posted June 16, 2010 His friend called you that and he did nothing? My boyfriend would never allow anyone to call me that, he would have knocked someone senseless. Not saying violence is the answer, I'm just sayin. I hope you are realizing now, how much better off you are. Part of my knows I am but part of me still feels an incredible loss of the relationship and him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Taikero Posted June 16, 2010 Share Posted June 16, 2010 I got about halfway through all the things he did and felt that would be about the point I wouldn't speak to a person again. The lies are the worst. If you can't be straight, you don't deserve the time of day because nothing you offer is genuine. Your life is better without him. Look for someone who has their head on straight and doesn't lie to you. You'll know when someone actually cares for you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hermes Posted June 16, 2010 Share Posted June 16, 2010 Shoe Fairy: Your own OP is all the confirmation you need. I need confirmation that I have not lost a good thing. What could POSSIBLY be good about this kind of individual? H Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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