Torn, don't know what do to - pls help :-(

[aldridal]

I'd just like to add something, as I see many similarities to my personal situation.

 

I was dating a girl for 6 years. We met as freshman in high school, so we began our relationship with "puppy love", rather than that burning passion you feel in adult relationships.

 

When we started college, we became more like best friends. As embarrassing as it is to say this, in our entire 6 years, we never once had sex. We did pretty much everything but, but not the physical act of sex. And that's not to say we made out or fooled around very often - it was more like once a month. It was very unromantic when it happened too. I'd try something, she'd pull back, so finally I'd just quit.

 

With all that being said, we were like best friends. We did pretty much everything together. We were in a comfy routine where we'd get home from class/work, cook dinner, watch TV, go to bed. Wash, rinse, and repeat. I knew we were in a rut, but just didn't feel like doing anything about it. I guess I was content being comfortable, and didn't really think I needed that spark back.

 

Apparently, unbeknownst to me, she did. She found a guy, left me a week later. She claimed that there was nobody else. In fact, her exact words were, "I have no interest in dating Brandon, I just want to be single for a while, and explore the single life."

 

A week later, I get an e-mail from her, "Just so you don't have to find out on your newsfeed, I'm in a relationship with Brandon, and it's official on facebook."

 

Yeah, as a college Junior, that was the e-mail I received. Nobody said she was super-mature.

 

Anywho, as recently as last month, she's contacted me trying to see how I'm doing, hinting at the fact that she misses me. I know that the passion with Brandon has burned off, and she feels like a witch for the way she treated me. Fact is, she decided to take the easy rout rather than put the necessary work into our relationship. Hell, I even offered couples counseling, but she told me, "We're not married, I don't see myself marrying you anymore, and I don't want to act married."

 

Thing is, she regrets it now. She's told me as much. She's "sincerely apologized" for the way she treated me. She moved in with Brandon 4 months after dating him, and now she's moving away to school down south somewhere, and Brandon isn't following her. Funny how that turned out, eh?

 

All I'm saying is, be careful. While you may crave that passion now, think it through. The passion won't stay, that I can promise. What you have now, while may be a little too routine, is better than anything most people can ask for. If you're having problems with keeping your life interesting, don't look at your partner to change that. Get out, do stuff, get involved, and get him out and about. Explain that you want to break out of the norm, and do things a little differently. You'd be surprised by his reaction.