What does this mean???

[pumpkinmoon]

Its this, I've been there. He knows he is making you unhappy. And he knows he can't make you happy...well more he can't be bothered to put the effort in to make you happy. I guess its draining for him, and the relationship has become strained.

Its better for you this way.

 

What bugs me the most is the fact that he came back to me twice, and he still put in no effort even after knowing how hurt I was when he broke up with me both times.

 

Why would you go back knowing that you couldn't even be bothered with them?

 

I even gave him the option of an easy way out a few months ago. He agreed to work on it. Things improved for a short while but then went downhill again recently.

 

I just don't understand why he would mess me about like this is he wasn't sure that I was what he wanted. I hate him for that.

[savignon]

So where is your car? Can you get it from him and take care of it yourself? At this point you'd probably rather take care of it yourself than rely on him or his dad to come through on their word...??

[pumpkinmoon]

So where is your car? Can you get it from him and take care of it yourself? At this point you'd probably rather take care of it yourself than rely on him or his dad to come through on their word...??

 

I have my car. Been driving around in it for three month with all the damage to it.

 

I'd love to say "stuff it, I'll take care of it myself, but I can't afford it. I wen to get a quote soon after it happened and it was £500 to get it repaired, £1000 for a new panel.

 

This man his dad knows quoted him £200. So just from that I can tell that it's not going to be a good job. Plus he's not going to opt to pay around £500 when he knows he can get it done for £200.

[pumpkinmoon]

I'll be honest too, I think a lot of this strain on the relationship has come from this car business.

 

I absolutely resent him for suggesting that I claim on my insurance!

 

Not only that, he will not stand up to his father about getting the job done well, and he also probably thinks that I am going to be annoyed?upset when the job isn't done properly. In which case, he is going to be stuck in the middle.

[lavenderdove]

I think he is saying he has his routines and (a) he isn't going to change them for you and (b) he knows you're not happy with his routines/how he behaves so he basically understands why you'd want to break up and that the breakup is OK with him.

 

sometimes being in a relationship becomes a habit not based on the happiness or support you bring each other, but just becomes another (unfulfilling) routine that is hard to break out of.

 

Usually what happens in cases like this is that people will stay in that groove until one of the two meets someone else and bolts, or one person gets tired of how unhappy they are and requests a breakup.

 

So if you wonder why he says he'll try and doesn't, i think that you're a habit in his life, but he's not particulary happy with it either, or how unhappy you are with who he is/what he does.

 

But he is clearly announcing here he is not going to change his routine/how he behaves, and you know how this is is making you miserable, so perhaps it is best to just acknowledge the two of you are too different to bridge the gap between you.

 

I'm sorry, I know sometimes the most painful thing is when you realize the other person just doesn't care enough to try to bridge the gap between you. But at least you know that, and know you really, really tried so can walk away knowing you did your best with him. You just need to find someone who is more compatible with you, and treats you with more attention and respect.