feel like crap... need some support... went NC

[Kia-Kaha]

sorry for springing that on you, was wrong of me, will put the feelers out and will see...nothing to lose..

 

Sounds like you have already decided to do this. If so, I think you need to be very careful! You do have something to lose, all the hard work you have put into yourself. Do you really think you are ready and won't end up back at day one of NC if she denies your feelers?

 

You said yourself you wear your heart on your sleeve, so she probably already knows that you would like another chance with her. You probably can't hide it, even if you tried.

 

Think long and hard about this before you do anything. I think you told me this 18 hours ago ;-)

 

Don't do anything today or tomorrow. Think it through. Make sure you are ready for any possibility. If she asks, what would be different this time, do you have an answer? Are things different now than they were?

[Kia-Kaha]

Woke up today feeling pretty angry. I know it has only been 2 full days since calling NC, but I am angry that she would rather just never talk to me ever again than try talking about our issues.

 

I don't like feeling angry and I hope that she doesn't feel the same way about me. I do miss her and want nothing more than to talk to her, hold her, etc and I can't believe that she won't break NC and discuss our issues.

 

I guess I never meant as much to her as she did to me.

[randomname]

Kia it has only been 2 days. I have been in NC for 2 weeks now. You will go throug these stages. I get some bad nights still but you need to use your support network to get past these days. That is what these forums are here for.

 

she would be doing it tough to, for all you know she could be sitting there thinking how to contact you. you don't really know what she is going through so don't try and think a certain way.

 

First look after yourself. think about other things (yes i know how hard that is), when she is ready she will contact you.

[paulod]

Hey Kia,

thanks for the support last night mate, see this is what we are all here for!

re-thought the whole feelers thing....not going to do that, going to hold fire for a bit would only set me back, got to keep doing what I am doing and that's looking after me

 

Kia, you are going to go though all sorts bud, trust me, anger,sadness,being happy (weird I know..but you will) abandonment, the whole works! but you've got to keep thinking about you first and foremost

 

Your ex is no doubt going through the same ride you are, and is more than likely feeling the same way you are, you need to do NC to heal yourself....so does she, doesn't she?? who says she doesn't want to talk about things?? she probably cant at the moment but you're not going to know what's going on in her head and that's the worst bit I think, but you've got to put that aside for now

 

No point in the pair of you talking when your emotions are running at full pelt! wouldn't work, time and patience is the key, as we said last night, this is the hardest thing you're going to go through mentally, when you come out the other side you will be a stronger, better person for it

Look after Number1 for now mate

[Kia-Kaha]

No problem man, glad I could be there for you too for once.

 

She was the one who said that she couldn't talk this through with me. That's why I went NC. Hopefully this will change sometime soon.

 

You are right that there is no point right now, I just want her back so badly! I miss her so much and just hope the days will go past faster.

 

Leaving it all up to her is kiling me.

[Kia-Kaha]

I can;t believe how long each day feels like.

 

I can't believe it has only been 2 and a bit days since I called for NC. It feels like it has been weeks... Is this normal?

[paulod]

Kia,

Yeah unfortunately it is normal my friend, it does get better!! you need to start doing things to keep you occupied...go for walks, gym, do something creative, hang out with friends etc..

don't stay cooped up, get out and about, get some fresh air

 

I know you miss her mate and you want her back badly....lots of us in the same position but think about it.....you need time to heal and be strong! think long term!!!

 

go do something you wanted to do but didn't have time to do when you were with your ex gf...there must be something, use the time apart constructively, it helps big time!

[Kia-Kaha]

Yeah I have been hitting the gym, playing golf and walking a lot lately. I just can't seem to get my mind off her though. Everything I try, I end up thinking about her.

 

It's driving me crazy. I just wish I could switch off my head for a day or two. Even at work I can't seem to focus on anything else.

[Kia-Kaha]

What kinds of things do you guys do to make sure you remain strong through NC?

 

I know I have to stay strong and that maybe she is hurting just as much as I am and is probably as exhausted as I am of this all. I am trying to keep busy and have considered unplugging my phone from the wall but do not want to become a hermit!

[cm17]

What kinds of things do you guys do to make sure you remain strong through NC?

 

Kia, its hard! But I just spent more time with friends, called them up instead, tried to go out more. If I was feeling really awful sometimes I'd watch a movie or download a series, sometimes blinding yourself with entertainment for a bit can take your mind off things and get you over the hump. Also I actually started going to therapy, which really helped. Made me realize I had a lot to figure out and work on, self improvement (like working out more, reading more, a hobby) can really improve confidence. This might be considered bad motivation but I found the glimmer of hope I might win my ex back compelled me to work on myself. As time went on that was less of a motivation and it became something I was doing for myself... I'm still working on that though! Good luck!