RestlessNights Posted June 4, 2010 Share Posted June 4, 2010 Over a month ago, I posted a thread on the dating section of this forum about a girl I was seeing... For those of you who want the Cliff Notes version, here it goes real quick: I was dating this woman (single Mom, 2 kids, full time Student) and things were going great. Out of the blue, she calls it off and says that she cannot focus on a relationship right now with all she has on her plate along with the pain she's experience from her ex-husband. For awhile I tried just being friends with her, but it was too painful for me. About 3 weeks ago, I told her how I really felt about her, that I had strong feelings for her. It didn't change anything at the time. I didn't talk to her from about 5/16 - 5/29. After talking a bit this past weekend, and being the victim of a joke gone bad (someone texted me from her phone saying "I love you"), we got together for an hour and just "chilled" Tuesday afternoon. We went for a walk together on Wednesday and I wound up going back over Wednesday night for a couple of drinks after she put the kids to bed. We got to talking further about the "joke", how I felt, how she felt, etc. Next thing I know we're kissing. I spend the night (nothing sexual happened) and as I leave the next morning we kiss again. I went back over last night to help her with some chores and we kissed again before I went home. I've chatted with her a bit today but haven't seen her. My friends think I should play it cool, aloof, and don't get into deep this time around. They feel, and I do too, that I got into it way too fast the last time around and they don't want to see me get hurt again. I myself am very nervous and scared about going forward. It definitely seems like things are back at the point where they were before she pulled the plug the first time. I'm afraid I'm going to get hurt again by her but I love being with her. My friend suggested that I take this weekend off from seeing or talking to her and play the next couple of weeks cool to see where she's coming from... What do you think? Is this a second chance or am I setting myself up to get hurt? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Live-N-Learn Posted June 4, 2010 Share Posted June 4, 2010 You need to ask her what her intentions are... Don't guess ask...If they are not what you want as well then go NC. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DN Posted June 4, 2010 Share Posted June 4, 2010 It doesn't sound like much of a second chance to me - did she give any hint that she regretted the break-up? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RestlessNights Posted June 5, 2010 Author Share Posted June 5, 2010 It doesn't sound like much of a second chance to me - did she give any hint that she regretted the break-up? From the moment she "broke up" with me she told me she was probably making a mistake. She also admits she does have feelings for me. She's played the "I've been so hurt in the past...you deserve someone better than me" game. I've told her that I want her and I want to try and take some of her sadness and pain away. The way we've acted together the last 2 days, to me anyway, it does seem like she regrets it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DN Posted June 5, 2010 Share Posted June 5, 2010 Then she needs to say so and make it clear she wants to try again. If you decide to talk to her you should lay it on the line. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RestlessNights Posted June 5, 2010 Author Share Posted June 5, 2010 Then she needs to say so and make it clear she wants to try again. If you decide to talk to her you should lay it on the line. I don't want to be confrontational though...in her defense...she does have a lot of stress and what not on her plate right now...I just know how she makes me feel...and I have a gut feeling about how I make her feel...I don't want to go in guns drawn and risk hurting something before it even gets going... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DN Posted June 5, 2010 Share Posted June 5, 2010 Confronting someone doesn't mean that you have to do it aggressively. It means that you recognise that you have needs and feelings as well as she does and that she can't just go through life hurting people or being careless with their feelings because she has problems or stressors affecting her life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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