That intangible something

[Lady Rashomon]

Lots of people on this board (myself included) have talked about that intangible something that can sometimes be missing in relationships that would be fantastic otherwise, and that typically leave otherwise fantastic relationships in shambles. That something is probably different from person to person, but I am wondering:

 

1) Have you ever been in a relationship where things were wonderful but that something was missing? Were you ever able to identify what that something was?

 

2) Or do you think that people who fixate on the intangible spark that may not have been kindled are commitment-phobes who don't really have a good reason to end their relationships?

 

3) Is that intangible something just an illusion of our own making?

[shuttlefish]

1) Have you ever been in a relationship where things were wonderful but that something was missing? Yes, every single relationship I've ever been in

Were you ever able to identify what that something was? I used to think so...or at least suspect or could theororize but now I'm not so sure.

 

2) Or do you think that people who fixate on the intangible spark that may not have been kindled are commitment-phobes who don't really have a good reason to end their relationships? It's more like something is missing from their own lives. They are expecting the other person to fix that, to fill the gap, which of course is impossible to do

 

3) Is that intangible something just an illusion of our own making? everything is an illusion of our own making...we are are own worst enemies

[catfeeder]

I just think we click with certain people, and it brings out the best in both of us. For instance, why is a best friend a 'best' friend over all other friends?

[SocialStigma]

All of my past relationships had something missing, hence why they ended. For one ex, I just wasn't physically attracted to him even though he was physically attractive. I had just known him for too long (since we were 8 years old) and couldn't see him as more than a brother/best friend. For another ex, we just couldn't click, always ran out of things to talk about.