Rebound is a friend...

[Time2Shine]

So my ex and I have been broken up for about 3 months now. about a month after the break up I realized that this friend of ours kept hanging out with her. Didn't think much of it. 2 months after that point with NC all the way through another friend tells me that that they have been seeing each other consistently but are not serious. I was hurt to say the least.

 

Today I found out that I will be attending a dinner next week that both of us were invited to. Unfortunately this is not a dinner that I can back out of. At the moment I heard this news I was immediately upset. Though it has been many months. We were together for 4 years and in all honesty I believed we were going to get married. Unfortunately that is not where things are now. I know its interesting that I post on getting back together. I also realize that I don't really want to see her either but since its for work I have to go. What should I do?

 

A lot has changed since she last saw me. I've been promoted twice. Lost 40 lbs and have really worked hard on improving myself through and through. I have been dating and seeing a lot of other women. Though I feel like seeing her would set me back and if im upset now....how will I act next week? Lastly I question why I would want a person back who chose a person I knew to start something with...It really hurt me and I don't understand it at all. As much as I have changed I also know that the things that I needed her to change haven't at all and most likely wont. Why can't I seem to keep myself straight on kicking her completely out of my life.

[letsnotdoityet]

I don't have the answers to your questions but I do know that any "friend" who makes a move on your ex without asking you first is no friend at all.

[d_lilah]

I agree with letsnotdoityet. That is not friendly behaviour at all.

 

I was in a similar situation years ago, and both parties (my ex and my friend) got in touch to see if I was okay. The friend who went with, and is still with, my ex even went as far to say she wouldn't carry on if it hurt me...the fact you had to hear it from someone else is going to make it sting more.

 

You are still hanging on to the idea of what it was like when you were with her, and not focusing on whats happened since, and thats why you can't move on. I had the exact feelings 3 months after my b/u. In time you will start to forget those feelings and maybe meet someone else. You've done a lot for yourself, so all I can suggest is for you to keep your head up

[Time2Shine]

here is the problem...I have moved on completely except. The girl that im seeing now...is my ex's friend...should i get out of this situation completely?

[Lost Nuts]

Sounds like a game, one of you is mirroring the other.

 

She dates your friend so you date her friend, or vice versa.

 

You should probably think about why you are going out with this girl, if you find that you really do like her than continue seing her. Whatever you decide to do, I don't think you should be hanging around the ex unless you can be comfortable with it.

 

Why can't you back out of a dinner?

If it's because the girl your with wants to go, it may be a good idea to talk to her about how you feel about it.

[Time2Shine]

Because I posted this here on getting back together I might as well ask. For guys and this statistic was pulled off ask men. 90% of guys don't want to know the guy that their ex has slept with. Unfortunately for me....I know the guy. I can't seem to even reconcile in my brain how I could ever forgive her if we were ever to reconcile. Just knowing the guy makes me feel disgusted at the thought and now with this dinner I feel like I'll vomit at the sheer thought of seeing her there. I can't back out because I'm one of the lead reps for our group.

 

This is pretty much a lost case correct if I can never forgive her for sleeping with someone else. Yes maybe it would have been easier if I didn't know the guy but thats not my case.