bertdru Posted May 20, 2010 Share Posted May 20, 2010 Isn't this the girl who cheated on you with another girl? So wouldn't she be masturbated with thoughts of another girl? I don't think I would be comfortable if my gf did that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kumatora Posted May 20, 2010 Share Posted May 20, 2010 In my experience, most of those who profess to do so publicly for religious reasons don't privately. Keyword: "most." So you're still agreeing with me that there are some people out there who don't do it. I'm just saying, since this is a public fourm, that some people could take offense to a comment since they may not do it for a number of reasons. We may live in a society that openly accepts how we deal with our own sexuality, but it doesn't give others a reason to shun those who don't seem to "follow the norm" sort of speak. Anyways, back to the topic. Sorry for throwing people off. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MD Geist Posted May 20, 2010 Share Posted May 20, 2010 Be VERY careful with this comment. Some religious practices and cultures forbid masturbating, no matter how many people find it "normal." If a person chooses to withdraw from masturbation because of cultural/religious reasons, I'm sorry but they are not full of it. Its proven that they also masturbate to. not everyone masturbates, i dont. Are you sexually active? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
greywolf Posted May 20, 2010 Share Posted May 20, 2010 I masturbated even when I thought I was going to hell for it. But others probably have more self-discipline than I do. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mirrorman Posted May 20, 2010 Share Posted May 20, 2010 Got here late. My own 2 cents: FWIW, lots of people in relationships masturbate. I've done it when I was in a relationship (not that I had much opportunity to do it! Seriously, there'll be times when you're hot and your partner's not. Or your partner will be home and you'll be away. Unless it's used for emotional blackmail or something, I wouldn't sweat it. It's better than cheating! Like anything else, communication is important and you should make sure your partner is OK with it, which she or he probably will be. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
babii doll Posted May 20, 2010 Share Posted May 20, 2010 Are you sexually active? Have been for 11yrs now Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
quirky Posted May 20, 2010 Share Posted May 20, 2010 You shouldn't be too soft on someone that has cheated..I wonder what happened.I don't think the issue here is her pleasing herself, it's the lack of trust in the relationship. The fact that you feel betrayed, otherwise you may even find it hot. She may have mentioned it so you can jump on her and be really wild. Or to show you in her way that she wants more sex. I can't completely tell from your posts but I know that if you are passive or afraid it definitely kills the passion. To answer your question I rarely do it when I'm in a relationship and it will most likely be if I'm not getting enough sex or if I'm really horny and know that the bf won't give me the amount of pleasure I need. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cognitive_Canine Posted May 20, 2010 Share Posted May 20, 2010 here it goes: wife and I are having problems and trying to work it out. We have not had sex in two months and tells me tonight her area is hurting. I said why she said she was masturbating Saturday and wants my advice on why it hurts. My question is why would she tell me that? I never thought she masturbated and now im really upset because I know she is thinking of someone ahile she is doing it, won't have sex with me and then tells me about. any advice on why she would tell me that is helpful. thanks. Maybe your conservative views is why she isn't having sex with you? Do you explore with her at all? What is her reasoning behind the low amount of sex? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
oldenoughtoknow Posted May 20, 2010 Share Posted May 20, 2010 Last night she said she just asked because she now feels that she is starting be open up to me. she wasn't thinking it would hurt me, but obv it does as were not having sex and thats another issue for a diff section but I told her to go to the doctor. she made the appt today. she is 31 and has never had a pap done so I told her she needs to get that done. Wait a minute. She had an affair and you're on the defensive? Waiting for her to open up to you? How did you let that happen? This is HER bad. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scott12 Posted May 20, 2010 Share Posted May 20, 2010 Maybe your conservative views is why she isn't having sex with you? Do you explore with her at all? What is her reasoning behind the low amount of sex? I think her whole having an affair thing is why they aren't having sex. Scott Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cognitive_Canine Posted May 20, 2010 Share Posted May 20, 2010 I think her whole having an affair thing is why they aren't having sex. Scott I only read the OP. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kombatarts99 Posted May 20, 2010 Author Share Posted May 20, 2010 We talked in depth last night. I'm trying to find out why she can no longer get close to me. She said she just does not feel close enough to me to be physically with me. I know two things are happening. 1) there is a hormaone imbalance or 2) she is in love with that woman. I've come to the conclusion that she will not give me a 100% effort and help me uncover why there is a lack of passion so I told her we need to separate and she can pursue the relationship with the woman. I don't have conserttative views. She did. She was extremly religious, she was a virgin when we married, she was 26 now 31 and I was her first relationship. After going to counseling found out she always had thoughts of woman in dreams, but never told me. I think she has repressed her own sexuality and that is why she has admitted being into this woman. Still can't figure out why she mentioned the masterbation though. Any thoughts are helpful Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MikeS Posted May 20, 2010 Share Posted May 20, 2010 I just like to put in my 2 cents worth. I do not want to affend or step on anyone. After reading all these posts about his wife masterbating and telling him that "it" hurts below. It can only lead to 1 conclusion. She is still having an affair and wants this woman more and not her husband. This line is soo true anymore. "Once a cheater will always be a cheater." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
In the Dark Posted May 21, 2010 Share Posted May 21, 2010 You were her first relationship..... Maybe it's a case of, tired of the same old breakfast every Morning but she will not be straight up with you. I feel she is not being honest anyway. Why should not be such a mystery unless the mystery is one which she does not want to answer because it will make her look like a bad person. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kombatarts99 Posted May 21, 2010 Author Share Posted May 21, 2010 You were her first relationship..... Maybe it's a case of, tired of the same old breakfast every Morning but she will not be straight up with you. I feel she is not being honest anyway. Why should not be such a mystery unless the mystery is one which she does not want to answer because it will make her look like a bad person. I think your onto something. Would explain why she does not want me to change my Facebook status from married to seperated or single. then everyone would know. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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