Finding Real Love After Marriage

[penelope13]

I think this is a case of OP (I assume you are the 'soulmate' in this scenario) trying to put a spin on a rather straightforward case of someone cheating to make it out as if the tragic hero, trapped in a prison of arranged marriage has finally been saved from the chains of a loveless life by his true and eternal love/ soulmate, so that said soulmate can uphold the fantasy of having found the one who was destined to be hers and hers alone.

 

As has been mentioned, many relationships have started while one (or both) individuals are either married or in a relationship with someone else. It's unfortunately an everyday scenario. And some relationships that have started under those circumstances last and are happy relationships.

 

However, to make a relationship last, any relationship, you have to be able to be realistic and see things for what they are. Only if you are willing to see things for their true nature can you decide if and how to deal with it.

 

Twisting the facts around in such a way to pretend to yourself that 'you are meant to be with this person' (i.e. his soulmate) and thus any kind of behavior is justified to be with this person, only sets you up to be blind to anything that might taint your 'my prince charming has found me' fantasy.

 

You are making so many excuses for this guy it's scary. You don't care that he is married, that he is cheating on his wife, breaking his vows to her, and on top you think it's justified that he didn't tell you in advance that he was married.

 

The funniest argument is that 'he didn't sleep with his wife', ergo he must be a good guy??? Do you take this as a proof how strong his love is for you? (I guess you have only his word for this?).

 

I am not saying that someone who realizes he is unhappy in a marriage is a bad person. It happens all the time. But the decent thing would be to end the marriage first before starting the new relationship. I would have respected his behavior more if he had NOT slept with the soulmate before having talked to his wife, because ultimately his duties/ loyalties lie with her first. You can't use the 'soulmate' status as a means to claim higher rights on this person, thus making you 'the woman' and the wife ' the other woman'.

 

By all means, if you want to be with this person, fair enough. But please do yourself a favor and look at things with a realistic eye/ interpretation. Otherwise you will be torn out of your fantasy soon enough.

[Hermes]

You are entirely entitled to your opinion Redress.

 

H