secret bisexual.

[cutedisaster-x]

So I'm 17 and in highschool. It's a small school, easy to judge. Only about 200 students (K-12) So it's hard to deal with these feelings.

 

I've always liked guys, but always had that thought of being with a girl, just cuddling, talking, kissing, everything, I would just love to try it. I mean one night awhile ago, I kissed a girl, we were both drunk, she's straight. But I felt more, like I didn't want to stop. I really want to try with another girl, but there's none in my school.

 

I just really can't take not being able to talk to another girl dealing with this, I haven't told my friends cause I know they'd judge. Any lesbian girls out there want to talk?

[spearntime]

Not a lesbian, but I know that there may be underlying things you may need to speak with a counselor about.

 

Is there any way to safely tell your parent (s)?

 

If not, a counselor?

[cutedisaster-x]

I don't want to tell my parents yet. I'd rather talk to others first or be with another girl and see how it is before I tell my parents. I usually don't tell them much about me or relationships. So I'd want to wait.

 

We have a school counsellor, but she isn't too helpful, so I haven't went to her about anything.

[Nearbot]

I don't think you need to see a counselor or tell your parents. It sounds completely normal to me You might be surprised about what your friends say. A close female friend of mine just started dating girls. When I first met her, she was very religious and thought being gay was "wrong." I'm don't consider myself a lesbian, but I've definitely thought of being with another girl and am open to the idea if the right girl comes along. Most of my female friends say the same thing

[cutedisaster-x]

I've brought up about other people coming out being gay to my friends before (girls) to see what they would say. They all said things like "That's just gross" "Why would they want to be with a girl" "I'd feel so awkward if I had a friend that was lesbian"

 

There was a guy moved away from our school and came out as bi, the guys I know were like "Wow, can't believe we actually had a gay in our school, gross"

 

So, you can see why I find it hard to come out . lol

[Nearbot]

Ah, I'm sorry I live in a very liberal city, so being gay is no big deal at all. My high school had a bunch of same sex couples.

 

Well, I'm sure you could find a lot of people to talk to online about it. And if you go to college, I guarantee you'll find some lesbians!

[cutedisaster-x]

It's okay, I'm used to it now.

 

Yeah, The college I will be applying for is very gay accepting and has gay pride walks, and there's also groups to join. So I can't wait till I'm on my own and able to meet these people.

 

Unfortunately, I'm only in grade 11, and still have to go through grade 12 before I can do that.

 

I do have one friend who's gay. He went to school with me, and came out to me last summer, his parents do not accept gays so he didn't come out to them yet. His whole highschool he pretended to have gfs who lived away, just to fit in. I couldn't even tell him I was gay. I guess I should have. We're not as close anymore though since he's moved away for college.

[digger11]

you don't need to go to a counselor.

 

I was actually in the same boat. I only told very very few people in my hometown when I was still in high school (bf, bf's friends, they went to the local CC, separate from my high school crowd completely)

 

when I moved away I started telling more and more people when I left. When I went out of state to college, I told everyone (if it was relevant to the convo) and it felt sooo good to not hide anything from anyone. You're only 17, I remember what that is like. As you grow and mature you will care even less and less about what other people think.

 

I know it's hard now, but that's completely normal. Try to find people you trust now, and sorry about not having a girl to 'experiment" with. Sometimes you have to wait! (oh btw, you will be surprised at the number of gay people that 'come out' after high school ;-))

[jengh]

This is a lot more common than you might think. So many girls, myself included in this, have felt this way at one time or another. It could just be bicuriosity or you could be bisexual. I'm not into labels in any case so to me, it makes no difference.

 

I don't think there's really any need to talk to your parents or a counselor about this. There's nothing wrong with you, there's nothing gross about how you're feeling.

 

At this point, though, I would probably wait until you go away to school. I'm from a small town too so I understand how gossip spreads like wildfire. Plus, dealing with all of the closeminded people at your age...not fun.

[amber0324]

im bisexual if you need to talk im here for you