I hate most couples!

[MD Geist]

I hate couples as well. Its a shame that all of my friends are becoming just that with the passing years and pretty soon I will be the only one left over.

[Di_ya2009]

Maybe you can plan something and have it as "guys night" or invite a few of your close friends.

 

You must feel frustrated because you have been there for them during their down times and you want them to be considerate of your situation at this time.

 

Or hang out with your closest bud often and maybe others will get a hint...not sure

 

ahh just realized the thread is from 2008 ...my bad

[Perfect Dark]

I 100 percent agree with NOFX. I hate when so called best friends get dumped because they are in a relationship; then when it ends then come running back. When that happens you really know who your true friends are.

 

At the end of the day why should the OP have to chase his friends ?

[Batya33]

Chiming in because I felt dumped by a few of my single friends when I became a married mom (yes, basically all at once) - it felt a little like a preemptive strike with a wrong assumption that I would not choose to stay in touch just because I was a newlywed/new mommy. Not true and actually, to the contrary, I've always made single people feel welcome when I had a boyfriend/husband and I had few experiences of being left out when I was single.

For example, last year a friend of mine planned a birthday party - she is single and she invited singles and couples - probably about 10 people. One by one they all canceled for various reasons. My husband and I told her to come to our place instead and we ordered in pizza and had a birthday cake/presents for her. It was a really fun evening. That's typical of my attitude and behavior so my sense is in your case it's a mixture of these particular people being close minded and perhaps behavior of yours that is making them uncomfortable.

[Crazyaboutdogs]

Couples prefer to hang with other couples, that's just life - and it doesn't matter if you are 20 or 50. It will always be that way. If your friends are all coupled up, all you can do is try to make new friends, join new activities, etc.

 

 

Some couples are very welcoming of single people and don't do the whole "universe of two" thing when the single person is around, while other couples tend to form "the couple's clique" and exclude anyone who is not part of a couple. It really depends on the people involved. I have often heard of situations where the couple gets together with other couples and then the minute the couple gets divorced or one of them becomes widowed, they are shunned from the "couple's clique".

[AuthenticAuthor]

NoFXN, in your defense I have to agree that the comments of some people here have been rude and assuming. From what I've read you don't seem to be desperate to be the "center of attention" many people claim you to want.

 

Having said that, it definitely does seem as if you're just venting about the lack of respect your friends have for you. Since you've mentioned how you've always been so accomodating to their needs before, perhaps its time you just let this all go and move on. Your friends apparently introduce too much stress without much in return anyway.

 

I know that may sound "selfish" to many people here in ENA, but relationships are two-way streets. And friendship is exhausting without friendship in kind.

[stingray]

I have resolved this issue to a great extent by following the advice to just plan things on my own. I have also been really clear about my feelings towards those couples that have been shunning me. Apparantely, bringing it to the attention of the group has caused those individuals to be isolated. How ironic!

[Bartok]

I've never understood why some couples do that, either.

 

A good friend of mine and I both have girlfriends, while alot of our other friends don't... every once in a while we just have a "guys night" where all our guy friends get together and go to a bar or play rock band or something. Our girlfriends do the same with their friends on occasion. I do stuff without my girlfriend all the time and she does stuff all the time without me and we do what we can to keep our single friends from feeling alienated - because we both know EXACTLY how that feels thanks to inconsiderate couples like the ones mentioned in the OP.

 

I, personally, think it's very unhealthy to spend all your time with your significant other, but I'm a weirdo like that. Unfortunately, if your friends are already treating you like this... you can't really change it. It's become "the norm" and we all know how hard it is to change "the norm".

[stingray]

I guess you just have to adapt and change your tactics towards the situation. I am surprised I was able to come out on top in this situation.

[Leftright]

OP, I know the feeling as well as you. At 32, I too pretty much got shut out of everyones life after they all coupled off and got married. As a result, I just found ways to entertain myself on my own.

 

I go to movies alone, the museum alone...anything i really want to do, i decide to just buck up and do it alone. I almost sank myself into a depression so deep, but i picked myself up and decided on the realization that life is short and there is the possibility to ENJOY life alone, if you choose to do so. Who knows, maybe one day we'll meet someone, but for the time being we just have to take what is given to us.

 

I'm thinking of joining and improv comedy class. I think that might be the ticket? But every day is a new day and who knows, you might meet her at the bus stop tomorrow. ...or she could be your bank teller, or the girl at the gas station counter? Some of us (including myself) are late bloomers, and sometimes our time to shine comes later in life. Just enjoy. Work hard, play hard and do good things for people. It's rewarding.