Sorrento Posted July 29, 2010 Share Posted July 29, 2010 Right. I hope he's the one (I feel he is) but I could be wrong. If someone else comes around who fits what I am looking for, then that could make a difference. However I'm not actively looking for anyone now and where I live is mostly dads in terms of single people. Next year assuming I find a job again and move near an area full of singles that might change. He might be ready to get serious, or by then I'll see he's still not ready, which will mean I move on. Exactly. That's EXACTLY where I am. Not "waiting" as in behaving as though I'm already in a relationship. But not actively looking for someone. I wish you all the best with this, seems to me that you're doing everything right. At the end of the day, we can't help who we love and when we meet them. If it works out, brilliant. If not, we haven't been "on hold" for months/years. I can't see anything wrong with this approach personally. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
newwave Posted July 29, 2010 Author Share Posted July 29, 2010 Exactly. That's EXACTLY where I am. Not "waiting" as in behaving as though I'm already in a relationship. But not actively looking for someone. I wish you all the best with this, seems to me that you're doing everything right. At the end of the day, we can't help who we love and when we meet them. If it works out, brilliant. If not, we haven't been "on hold" for months/years. I can't see anything wrong with this approach personally. Thanks, I hope it works for you as well. I know when I've posted about him, people have said to give him up, but right now don't want to. Maybe if someone better comes along I would, and certainly if he's not ever ready. Even if I met someone else now, I still wouldn't want anything super serious until my career gets back on track. I often think maybe there's a reason why it's stalled, maybe due to work or perhaps he's not the one, or he is, but not now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sorrento Posted July 30, 2010 Share Posted July 30, 2010 Thanks, I hope it works for you as well. I know when I've posted about him, people have said to give him up, but right now don't want to. Maybe if someone better comes along I would, and certainly if he's not ever ready. Even if I met someone else now, I still wouldn't want anything super serious until my career gets back on track. I often think maybe there's a reason why it's stalled, maybe due to work or perhaps he's not the one, or he is, but not now. It's seriously like you're writing my thoughts out! I think the important thing is to go with your heart. NOT when we are in the initial stages of the heartbreak, because that's just us acting out of desperation. But from what you've said, seems you're in the same place as I am. I feel very level headed. I don't mind what he is doing/who he is with etc. I just have this persistent little voice saying "it's not over". Which may sound crazy - and I might get a lot of flack for saying it. But if all our gut instincts are saying it's not over, then I don't see why we shouldn't trust that. I should add, that there is a lot of evidence in my situation that suggests I'm right on this. Plus friends and family who know the story inside out have all said the same thing "not right now, but one day it will happen". So I guess just base it on other perspectives, look at the facts in front of you, and listen to that little voice. Best of luck nw Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
newwave Posted July 30, 2010 Author Share Posted July 30, 2010 When I've discussed the situation with people more in depth offline, they say the same thing, that right now isn't the time, but will be. I've had friends and relatives say things like "when he proposes", etc. I feel that he is the one because of too many coincidences (exact same morals for example, to a T). There was a time when I just assumed he moved on, then I had a dream where I heard "give him time". He contacted me the following week. Of course we could both be wrong, but I think one of the biggest mistakes people make are giving up too easily because things don't rush. I don't like relationships where they go fast because most of those burnout. I know I've posted about my brother and sister in law before because they had a situation where they were "friends" many years yet are now married. I know he likes me a lot, always has (both as a friend and as someone he's attracted to), just a little scared still. He got badly stung a few years ago and is still recovering. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jetta Posted August 1, 2010 Share Posted August 1, 2010 I met my soulmate and it didn't come to pass. It took me 4 years to let go and allow myself to move on. I always held out hope we'd meet again and connect, but I realized I didn't want to spend my life alone and so I'm seeking companionship now and not a soulmate any longer. That means I want someone whose compatible on many levels, not necessarily that all consuming passion that I felt for him. It all started with a kiss on the hand. I'll never forget how I screwed it up, and how he made me feel. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
angelb429 Posted August 2, 2010 Share Posted August 2, 2010 i dont know your age: but please do not let other opportunitoes pass you by. I am in a similar situation. I know i have mt the man who fits me perfectly. He doesnt feel the same. I am having a horrible time moving on...but you have too. Maybe he IS your soul mate.....that does not mean you can have a healthy happy life with him. If he cannot give you what you want and need in return for your love then you must find aomeone else who can.......it is hard, but we have to try.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
newwave Posted August 2, 2010 Author Share Posted August 2, 2010 i dont know your age: but please do not let other opportunitoes pass you by. I am in a similar situation. I know i have mt the man who fits me perfectly. He doesnt feel the same. I am having a horrible time moving on...but you have too. Maybe he IS your soul mate.....that does not mean you can have a healthy happy life with him. If he cannot give you what you want and need in return for your love then you must find aomeone else who can.......it is hard, but we have to try.... I am giving him time then moving on. Sometimes that's all it takes, time. I am 39 and the pool of eligible single men where I live is slim. It's either dads (my big no no) or racist rednecks. Next year I hope to move closer to him (not because of him but because he lives near jobs). I know he loves me, but is scared. Will he get over his fear? Only time will tell. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Minx2012 Posted August 2, 2010 Share Posted August 2, 2010 YOU may know that he's your soulmate, but clearly, he's not thinking much about you in that way if he doesn't want to be in a relationship. I can understand if he loves you as much as you love him, and he is worried about the timing and pressures of marriage etc...now that would be a more valid question. But waiting on someone forever, when they don't even love you enough to be with you in a relationship? That's just beyond stupid and masochistic. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
newwave Posted August 2, 2010 Author Share Posted August 2, 2010 YOU may know that he's your soulmate, but clearly, he's not thinking much about you in that way if he doesn't want to be in a relationship. I can understand if he loves you as much as you love him, and he is worried about the timing and pressures of marriage etc...now that would be a more valid question. But waiting on someone forever, when they don't even love you enough to be with you in a relationship? That's just beyond stupid and masochistic. I never said I was waiting for him forever to be in a relationship. In fact, next time I talk to him I am putting my foot down and telling him we either start being more serious or he loses me forever. The only reasons he's getting leeway now are because I've been where he is regarding getting hurt, I am currently unemployed, and because I feel he's the one, not to mention a shortage of never married guys without kids around my area. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.