hexaemeron Posted May 13, 2010 Share Posted May 13, 2010 This is sad. It sounds like he has no concept of reciprocity or sex as a vehicle for intimacy and exploration. Well, honestly, what sort of guidance or education do people get that teach them from an early age about intimacy and exploration? Divorced parents? Married parents who fight? Homes swallowed in rageful silence because if we don't speak about problems they aren't there? Yeah, he's got issues, but one has to wonder, where would he have learned anything different? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lady Rashomon Posted May 13, 2010 Share Posted May 13, 2010 Well, honestly, what sort of guidance or education do people get that teach them from an early age about intimacy and exploration? Divorced parents? Married parents who fight? Homes swallowed in rageful silence because if we don't speak about problems they aren't there? Yeah, he's got issues, but one has to wonder, where would he have learned anything different? I grew up in a dysfunctional home myself, so I understand how a person's background can affect how they relate to sexuality. But you can't blame EVERYTHING on your upbringing. I know some people who had wonderful childhoods, but they are just SELFISH people, and that dictates how they relate to their lovers. And I grew up with parents who routinely fought and drummed extremely anti-sex messages into my head at an early age--but that doesn't mean that I simply succumbed to those messages. Perhaps the learning curve was a bit steeper for me, but that didn't automatically dictate my personal sexual proclivities. In terms of where people learn about intimacy and exploration, I can say for myself that it's typically been through my firsthand experiences with lovers and my own eagerness. Plus, I've always been a sensual person--I find this is a quality that is just innate. So while I agree that there are external factors which coalesce to determine our behavior, it sounds like the OP's boyfriend is unwilling to be be open to her suggestions or listen to her concerns, which is the first step to learning about reciprocity and intimacy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mmmd Posted May 14, 2010 Share Posted May 14, 2010 you have a really crappy boyfriend Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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