eseguin Posted May 7, 2010 Share Posted May 7, 2010 My boyfriend of a year and a half broke up with me a month and maybe a week ago. When we broke up, he had told me that it was not because his feelings had changed for me, but that he was not happy with himself and who he was and needed to figure things out on his own. We were also fighting about stupid/useless things quite often and he couldn't handle the stress of a relationship. He has also told his best friends, who is also my best friend, that later on, if he were to get back into a relationship, it would probably be back with me. Thing is, now he hangs out almost every single day with a girl in his class. I had confronted him about it during and after our break up. He assured me/as well as his friends, that he had no romantic interest in this girl. However, she has expressed to him, and to me (because i caught her drunkenly putting her arms all around him) that she has feelings for him. He told me that he told her the same thing he told me, which is that he has no interest in a relationship and just wants friendship. Now, usually guys don't hang out with a girl almost every single day without having some feelings for them. But my best friend, who used to be his friend has told me that after a breakup with his 4 year girlfriend, he had slept over and hangout with my best friend every single day, and they would even share the same bed. She had ended up having a small crush and he never acted on anything, and always saw them as just friends. I feel as though I should believe him, because he has acted like this in the past. We hung out Monday as friends, and there was no awkward silences/no awkward behaviour between the both of us. Two nights ago, he told me there are still feelings there for me and he still cares about me a lot but he doesn't know about how he feels "love" wise. I've decided to start no contact (I had for about 2 weeks, but he owes me money so I have to talk to him every time he gets paid anyway). I realize I cannot be friends while my feelings are not friend feelings. I just find this situation difficult. I don't understand why all of a sudden he needs this new friend to hang around all the time when she was never really there before. I believe he doesn't have feelings for her, but it's definitely hard to read. I'm hoping later down the line there is a chance, but I feel like him saying he is not sure about his "love" for me, really put me down, where a month ago, i could at least deal with the break up knowing what he had told me and his friends. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DN Posted May 7, 2010 Share Posted May 7, 2010 What were the things you were fighting about? Very often what seems like unimportant or trivial issues to one partner are dealbreakers to the other especially if there a a number of them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eseguin Posted May 7, 2010 Author Share Posted May 7, 2010 Often my boyfriend would forget he had made plans, and then make some with me. Then he would get to my house, realize he had made other plans, say he wanted to stay and hangout and he could forget about the plans and then i would kind of tell him no he can go do his other plans if he wants, and when he did, i would get upset. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eseguin Posted May 7, 2010 Author Share Posted May 7, 2010 I definitely understand that this put a huge stress on him. I completely understand where I went wrong with this relationship. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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