running into ex when you are not over him/her

[Anon333]

Me and my ex officially broke up about 2 months ago, a little less. We broke up on New Years but we stayed in touch and even got back together for a week, but then broke up again. He started dating someone else pretty immediately. We have similar friends and it is a small town so when we first broke up and I went out, he would be out with this new girl. This was hard for me to deal with. The last month or so I have hardly gone out, because I want to heal, and I dont want to see him with her. The other night my friends went out to this big show that everyone went to, but I have been doing so well, I didnt want to get set back, so I didnt go...I did however, ask the next day if "he" was there with his "girlfriend", this time he was there but not with the girl...That got me wondering, even though I know it could mean anything.....

 

I tried to keep it out of my head.....But tonight at work (I work at a grocery store that he used to come in all the time, but after the break up he stopped coming in) he showed up like he used to when we used to be together...Just to get groceries Im assuming, cause that is his place to shop even though when we broke up I asked him to give it time before he came shopping there (there are other grocery stores). Anyway, I saw him and just smiled and said "hey", and he said "hi", and I was walking by and just kept walking, didnt stop.....I was kinda shaking and now he is back on my mind, with me wondering if it isnt working with his new girl and he is coming around. Or it could just be a string of coincidence that his girlfirend couldnt make it to the show and he was out of bread....I know I shouldnt think this stuff. But I wonder most, did I handle the situation okay? SHould I have stopped and asked him how he was doing. It felt so unnatural and cold just to say "hey" and keep walking, but there was nothing else I could do... I still miss him even though I am getting over the hurt of it...I wish it wasnt this way...If he really wanted to talk to me or see me, he would make it clear Im assuming....

[misssmithviii]

I am sorry for the loss between you two, but I looks like you're dissecting too much about his life (without you I add) almost as if you're trying to force him back into your life.

 

Whether he's single or taken, what's it to you really? I know the thought might linger in your mind, but inquiring about his life/activities with his gf (or not) is really unnecessary.

 

Focus on your life, if you wanna say hi to him go ahead! But constantly dwelling on what could he be thinking, how his relationships with other women are going and if he'll come back to you or what you could do the next encounter you have with him is really honey, and I mean this to no offense, a waste of time.

[Anon333]

yeah..i know that already.....im trying to put it ut of my head..but Im here on a relationship website because it was on my mind after not seeing him....I appreciate the response.....And I know I dont need to be wondering about him...I was just starting to concentrate on myself...Most of the post was venting..But the real question and the how I titled it was more about the encounter and running into an ex.....How do most people deal with it and what is the best way and whether I dealt with it correctly....Im sorry if I seem pathetic for just being honest about my thought process and saying I miss him and think about him....

[squirl]

You handled it perfectly. Especially considering he came into your store.

 

When I run into my ex unexpectedly, I act like a crazy b-word. Towards him. When it's expected it's fine, just something about the random encounters totally ticks me off. Like "how DARE you mess with my NC, can't you see I'm not ready to attract you back to me yet?" LOL

[misssmithviii]

You are not pathetic honey, and it's good that you know you shouldn't be concentrating on him so extensively.

I had nearly all the same classes with an ex when I was in high school - I treated him no different than I'd treat any random guy that sat next to me, because after we broke up I had to realize that that is all he was now - just another guy.

[Anon333]

Thanks squirl...Exactly.....I wish I was at the point I could give him a big smile and a hug and act happy to see him, the past is in the past kinda thing...but instead I just kept walking past him...I didnt even give it a chance to see if he wanted to talk, just kept on walking....But yeah..I cant help wondering why he suddenly did pop in...I know missmith said me worrying about it is a waste of my time, but the point is that I am trying to work on NOT thinkig of him and worrying about these things and seeing him brought it all back....Its obvious I dont WANT to be thinking this way......All I can hope is that I handles it okay, but it did open up some of my wounds I was doing so well!!! Thank you squirl

[Anon333]

thanks missmith.....I still miss him and think about him, yeah he is turning into just a guy in my head, because I am working on healing...but in reality, when I saw him I was shaking after..I cant wait to get past that.....but I also told myself I dont want him back, and I dont, I know I wouldnt be happy...But part of me wants him to miss me and want me back, and start a whole new relationship...so those two things are contradictions too...Its like my brain and my heart are in constant battle...and my emotions were settling for me to finally start to be rational and get over it, and then suddenly he pops up...