Hope75 Posted April 18, 2010 Share Posted April 18, 2010 I also want to point out that HIV can incubate for several months before showing up as a positive test so even an initial negative result does not mean you do not have HIV, and follow up testing is needed approximately 3 months later. Of course, if you are continuing to have unprotected sex with your husband I wouldn't be reassured by any test results because you are willingly putting yourself at risk every time you sleep with him. For the life of me I can't see why anyone would want to jeopardize their life and their children's life like you are, certainly not someone who is putting their children first. It's like taking a pregnancy test once a month to prevent pregnancy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jillianiyp Posted April 18, 2010 Author Share Posted April 18, 2010 You can absolutely tune us out, but, does anything we've said have a hint of truth to it, or make any sense to you? I am a busy working mom and don't have a lot of free time these days, and I certainly don't take the time or effort to just insult or attack some random person I don't even know as you seem to think I am doing, but if I think my words might hit home, make sense, make you stop and think for a minute and maybe in some way be helpful, than I post them. You don't have to listen. But maybe you will, and maybe you will think twice about what you are doing. No Actually... it does not "hit home" because i think its absolutely ridiculous that you think i'm being selfish for wanting to have more children. Also if you believe you are pregnant that baby DESERVES prenatal care. If you are all about your kids then get on that. Thanks, But as I am still nursing, i'm not doing anything ridiculous that if i was prego i wouldn't be allowed to do. Also if you believe you are pregnant that baby DESERVES prenatal care. If you are all about your kids then get on that. Yes, i'm taking prenatal vitamins... also, thanks, i've had a pregnancy test before, i am aware how easy it is to do Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jillianiyp Posted April 18, 2010 Author Share Posted April 18, 2010 Also, I can't believe you guys are giving me hell about staying married to my husband. It's a very difficult situation for me. I can't just say "oh hey, theres a really small chance you might be cheating on me, so we're going to have to break off our marriage and never have kids again." If wanting my kids to grow up having a father is selfish of me, then fine. I'm selfish. You cannot tell me what is best for my children. You can only give me your advice. And talking to me like you are, as though i'm some immature child that doesnt know the first thing about relationships or pregnancy or any of that... that's not why i'm here. I'm sorry that i thought people here would be understanding/sympathetic to my situation. You guys think the solution is so blatently obvious about what to do... but you're not in my situation... you have no idea what it's like for me. It's true, I'm not 100% stable in my life... if i didnt have my little baby to look after I'd probably be continuing to screw my life up even more. I know you guys think i should rather be drinking, doing drugs, and getting in trouble with the law, instead of having children... because I dont deserve to have children... or who knows why... And the fact that i am happy to have my baby so i'm not still doing those things is to all you guys selfish??? Forgive me for not understanding. And thanks,... if you guys are having a competition to see how crappy you can make me feel, you're doing a really good job. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SapphireNoir10 Posted April 18, 2010 Share Posted April 18, 2010 No one here is trying to make you feel bad. They are just trying to point out the possibilities of certain situations and all sides of the decision making process when it comes to having children. There is no perfect time to have children. There is no 'right' time. I believe as long as you are in a healthy, stable relationship and have a good network of support and enough support and money you will be ok. But I wouldnt be planning any more children until I knew if he was cheating and worked on the issues at hand. I commend you for wanting to stay with him, but what happens if he decides if he doesnt love you, whats the point in staying? Or leaves you for someone else? Then your there with (potentially if you carry on having children) four kids and no father and no support. A lot of people here are parents. They are worried for you and for your child and its potential exposure too an unhealthy relationship, STI's etc etc Please dont take it personally. They are just trying to help. You do deserve to have children, but those children deserve the best start in life possible. All people are saying is take a step back. Think about it. Also, I would take the test. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jillianiyp Posted April 18, 2010 Author Share Posted April 18, 2010 Then i could take care of them myself. I'm not afraid of being alone. I'm not staying with him because i need "somebody". I legitimately love him, and i'm happy with him. And i've not suspected him cheating for a few months now. And if he left that doesn't mean i wouldnt have any support, i would still have alot of support from both our families. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batya33 Posted April 18, 2010 Share Posted April 18, 2010 No Yes, i'm taking prenatal vitamins... also, thanks, i've had a pregnancy test before, i am aware how easy it is to do Prenatal vitamins are a small part of prenatal care. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SapphireNoir10 Posted April 18, 2010 Share Posted April 18, 2010 Then i could take care of them myself. I'm not afraid of being alone. I'm not staying with him because i need "somebody". I legitimately love him, and i'm happy with him. And i've not suspected him cheating for a few months now. And if he left that doesn't mean i wouldnt have any support, i would still have alot of support from both our families. It would be hard though. Surely one child is enough for now? Whilst you wait to see where your relationship is going? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jillianiyp Posted April 18, 2010 Author Share Posted April 18, 2010 how can you tell me what is enough for my life? Maybe if you were in my situation, one would be enough for you. And i'm not saying i need something more. But i do want to have more children. And don't you try to tell me when its okay to have more children and when i should wait and ask again later for your approval. Also... what do you define as "prenatal care"?? I'm not saying its just prenatal vitamins, but as i posted above... I'm nursing, so i'm not doing anything i shouldnt be doing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
metrogirl Posted April 18, 2010 Share Posted April 18, 2010 how can you tell me what is enough for my life? Maybe if you were in my situation, one would be enough for you. And i'm not saying i need something more. But i do want to have more children. And don't you try to tell me when its okay to have more children and when i should wait and ask again later for your approval. Also... what do you define as "prenatal care"?? I'm not saying its just prenatal vitamins, but as i posted above... I'm nursing, so i'm not doing anything i shouldnt be doing. Just because you aren't doing anything risky, doesn't mean your baby can't be born without something wrong. That is why it's extremely important to have proper prenatal care to make sure the baby is thriving. Do you have any idea of how many things can go wrong in utero? Don't you think it's kinda important to know what's going on with a life that you will be bringing into the world? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seraphim Posted April 18, 2010 Share Posted April 18, 2010 There are ALL kinds of things needed in prenatal care....blood work,ultra sounds,physical exams, questionnaires. IF you ARE pregnant you are MISSING out on these events by "procrastinating".You can be defiant all you want, does not matter to me, it is your possible baby, not mine. You think you would want to do all you can for it if you want 4 kids and have it planned all along, don't you? As a mother who has miscarried 3 children, and others on this thread have lost kids as well, our interest is in you doing your best for your POSSIBLE child. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SapphireNoir10 Posted April 18, 2010 Share Posted April 18, 2010 how can you tell me what is enough for my life? Maybe if you were in my situation, one would be enough for you. And i'm not saying i need something more. But i do want to have more children. And don't you try to tell me when its okay to have more children and when i should wait and ask again later for your approval. Also... what do you define as "prenatal care"?? I'm not saying its just prenatal vitamins, but as i posted above... I'm nursing, so i'm not doing anything i shouldnt be doing. I wasnt telling you one is enough. I was asking surely one is enough? asking what you think. I know you want more children. There is nothing wrong with that. Your free to do what you want when you want it. People are just urging you to consider all the options. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
metrogirl Posted April 18, 2010 Share Posted April 18, 2010 There are ALL kinds of things needed in prenatal care....blood work,ultra sounds,physical exams, questionnaires. IF you ARE pregnant you are MISSING out on these events by "procrastinating".You can be defiant all you want, does not matter to me, it is your possible baby, not mine. You think you would want to do all you can for it if you want 4 kids and have it planned all along, don't you? As a mother who has miscarried 3 children, and others on this thread have lost kids as well, our interest is in you doing your best for your POSSIBLE child. Agree 100% I found out when I was 5 months that something was wrong with my child. After many many tests, I was told when I was 7 months along that my son was going to die. Knowing this, gave me time to educate myself and to prepare for not a birth but a death. My son died an hour after birth. I can't imagine how different it would have been had I procrastinated and not had prenatal care. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jillianiyp Posted April 18, 2010 Author Share Posted April 18, 2010 um... Okay for starters, i wouldnt be able to go my entire pregnancy without knowing i'm pregnant... you start showing at like 4 months... They dont even start thinking about an ultrasound until 3 months... If i was pregnant, they'd say "ok you're pregnant dont come back til youre at 12 weeks"... Theres nothing i need to be doing right now. I've been through this all before. I'm sorry for your loss, but even in my last pregnancy when they told me they wanted to do tests on the fetus and stuff i said no, i'm not interested in doing that. And you guys are being ridiculous, its not like i'm going to wait til i'm ready to give birth before i can accept that i might be pregnant. It's not a big deal right now. Even in my last pregnancy they did very minimal testing of everything, because it was extremely low-risk pregnancy and nobody had anything to worry about. I'm not a n00b, and i really dont like being treated like one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
avman Posted April 18, 2010 Share Posted April 18, 2010 This thread now closed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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