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Preparing myself for the loss of my (very old) cat


jengh

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Awwww...Jen. I am so sorry.

 

What you said to Minka was beautiful. I am sure that she sensed from you that she was loved.

 

Hang in there...

 

Thanks

 

Oh my lord, I am so upset. I can't stop crying. I know that's normal but it hurts so much. I miss her. She had the softest fur. Every time I think about her or something that is linked to her, I just lose it.

 

I hope my first kitty Brandy was there to greet her.

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Thanks

 

Oh my lord, I am so upset. I can't stop crying. I know that's normal but it hurts so much. I miss her. She had the softest fur. Every time I think about her or something that is linked to her, I just lose it.

 

I hope my first kitty Brandy was there to greet her.

 

I totally understand, Jen. I was like this for a long time, and I STILL am sometimes, and it has been about 6 months since I lost my kitty. She was so beautiful, and soft, and shiny. I think about the cute things she used to do...running up to the door to meet me when I came home, and then running away to make me "chase" her before finally "giving up" and flopping over on her side, always with a cute like sound, almost like a purr and a "hmph!" all at once.

 

I think of all the silly nicknames I had for her, and the times she used to follow me around "talking" to me. I would "talk" back and we would carry on a whole conversation. How when I would change the sheets on my bed, she would suddenly appear in the room and leap up onto the mattress, making it impossible for me to get the job done, and how I would throw the sheet over her as if I were going to make the bed right over her. She would let out this little squeaky "Meow!" as if she were pissed, but she was really having fun. Then, I would lean over and start sort of roughhousing with her through the sheet and she would be wriggling around, trying to get me, but she was trapped under there. Finally she would poke her head out...it was so cute.

 

I think of how, just before I learned she was sick, she started wanting to get under the covers with me at night sometimes. She would crawl under the blankets and then, like a dog, turn around and around under there like 100 times before she would finally lay down. She wouldn't stay under there for long, but it was so cute that she would even do it to begin with.

 

Thinking of all of these things does make me sad, but...mostly it makes me happy. What a wonderful gift to have had her for so long, and to have loved her so much. You will always have memories of Minka, AND that beautiful picture of the two of you together, which is such a great thing to have! I am glad you didn't listen to your mom and you kept Minka in the picture!

 

You will be sad for awhile, and even when you think you are not sad anymore, sometimes it will creep back up on you. As I said in my thread when my kitty passed, owning pets is such a double-edged sword: They bring us SO much joy while they are here, but their lives are far too short, and they leave us far too early. But, they teach us lessons about love that are priceless. I have always had trouble opening up and trusting people because of things that happened in my childhood, but experiencing the real, unconditional love of a pet truly helped me to become more open and to get closer to people. That is truly a special thing.

 

Hang in there....

 

(A pic of my little darling...)

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Thanks everyone. It's getting easier but I miss her so much. I finally walked down to her grave for the first time. I waited till Will stepped out, for some reason I wanted to do this alone. I just sat there and cried and told her I loved her a lot.

 

It's been a full week. Sigh. It feels weird without her here.

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