bungalo Posted April 9, 2010 Share Posted April 9, 2010 but we do! Met with the ex for a walk around a nearby lake. It was a little awkward at first, but I was able to express myself honestly about some of her tendencies (her being rigid and a bit of a perfectionist)...she seemed slightly annoyed..and I thought..ok...this isn't going anywhere..eventually we had to take a bathroom break, and we sat down on a bench, and I noticed that her body language was very open. Eventually I just told her that I still believed in US. She said she did too...I was surprised to say the least..... Long story short...we both acknowledged that we were working on ourselves and we were interested in having an honest, non fear based relationship with each other...again! Five months to the day that we've been apart! Third time around for us!! We wound up kissing, and going out to dinner and kissing some more. She was the dumper. I told her I wanted to take it slow to build up trust and process things. We had several more nice kisses after dinner, with no future plans made. I said probably my most heartfelt prayer before she showed up this afternoon at the lake...and it looks like God granted me/us another chance. I joked as we were kissing next to her car that I was waiting to wake up now!...I am stunned....... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bungalo Posted April 9, 2010 Author Share Posted April 9, 2010 It feels surreal.. come on ENA chime in!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
squirl Posted April 9, 2010 Share Posted April 9, 2010 Is this the second or third time back together? I think it is nice. Hope it works out. This, I think is a good example of why it is so important to meet your partner/ex in person. So much is communicated in body language that does not come through in text/email/phone calls. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bungalo Posted April 9, 2010 Author Share Posted April 9, 2010 Third time around...I am cautious..and think I'll let her chase me a bit..all the naysayers who tell you it's not possible..don't listen to them. Trust your heart!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jimmajam Posted April 9, 2010 Share Posted April 9, 2010 Third time around...I am cautious..and think I'll let her chase me a bit..all the naysayers who tell you it's not possible..don't listen to them. Trust your heart!!! I know you're excited, but you're not the majority. Trusting your heart with an ex is a good way to get it stomped on. Common sense works best. Congrats though. Hopefully it works out for you. Take it slow, because it's the third time and who knows what she is feeling. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sage_1 Posted April 9, 2010 Share Posted April 9, 2010 While I rarely post anything, I've been reading the forums for quite some time. That is wonderful news. I really hope things work out for you. Now, don't forget everything you have learned here. Go slow. Be patient. Etc, etc... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TryingVeryHard Posted April 9, 2010 Share Posted April 9, 2010 this is awesome! So you were apart for 5 months... Was it 5 months of NC? How did it work?! Details, please, for those of us who are still hoping... And oh yeah, were there rebounds? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bungalo Posted April 9, 2010 Author Share Posted April 9, 2010 This is my last post of the night...There were really no rebounds..we both dated a little..all told about 2 months of NC..This isn't cookie cutter stuff.. I think she and I both went through a horrible year in '09 with my best friend dying and her dad dying..and job changes and her kids leaving for college and menopause (yup kids we're like old compared to most ENAers)...Early yet...bless you all ...keep the faith-Bung Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GenoGeno Posted April 9, 2010 Share Posted April 9, 2010 Really great news to here, it's a little bit of inspiration and I'm happy for you man. Must feel great I would imagine. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Forgiven Posted April 9, 2010 Share Posted April 9, 2010 Yay! Congrats - wish you and her all the happiness in the world Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AutumnBorn Posted April 9, 2010 Share Posted April 9, 2010 I'm stunned. I've heard the myth of a dumper actually working on herself or himself before, but it was just that - a myth. At the very least, an urban legend. Now, someone has not only communicated with, but captured one? Congratulations are definitely in order. I hope the two of you make it all the way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brandnewday47 Posted April 9, 2010 Share Posted April 9, 2010 Congratulations Bungalo! I've followed your posts when things seemed dire, and it's nice to read about this for you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GenoGeno Posted April 9, 2010 Share Posted April 9, 2010 Yeah totally me too, things looked pretty deep for you but the situation rose to something good! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
getbiii Posted April 9, 2010 Share Posted April 9, 2010 may i ask what happened during the breakup? when both were apart? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ev1782 Posted April 9, 2010 Share Posted April 9, 2010 It just shows that every relationsihp is different... i know plenty of stories where the girls go back..... even when they say, when im done im done... A lot of girls say that. But it happens people. But point is that you dont kno if its going to happen or not, sometimes it just happens sometimes one person or the other initiates it to happen.....But the best thing to do is to work on yourself. Whether you will want to get that person that broke your heart back or not, thats where one of my Favorite sayings come into play.... I'll cross that bridge when I come to it,,, if it ever comes,,,,,But point is there are too many opportunities in life to be stressing about one situation. Move on, let Go,, work on self,, its the only way to have a happy future whether its with the Ex or someone else. Im at a point where everything in me wants to let Go and move one EXECPT my heart,,, but even my heart is rejecting the hurt and pain of missing her... Its like i feel a cancer on my heart. Im not saying she's a bad person. My ex was a great girl in many ways but she doesn't want me,,, so i have to burn and purge myself of every root of love for her that was established in my heart... It went from nurishing roots of love to parasites that suck the life out of me... well i want to expell this parasite. Even with all that said, i dont know if she will come back or not... But thats none of my concern at this point. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thedude27 Posted April 9, 2010 Share Posted April 9, 2010 well congrats on a good first step back I know how great that would feel. I would be walking on air if that were possible in my situation and I were in your shoes. I actually got a similar offer a few weeks ago from my ex (who apparently really misses me) to meet up and have lunch but I politely declined...And then I actually got...gasp...an apology (and a pretty good one). They do come back, and sometimes they even learn something. Its kinda bittersweet for me because she MAY have things figured to the point where had she been where she is now back then I would probably have married her, but its too late for us We went around 6 months without talking, then started reconnecting and talking occasionally about a year. So its been about 1.5 years since the breakup. Thats really is awesome, I hope it works out. I do like to spread a little hope around every once and a while. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
minou Posted April 9, 2010 Share Posted April 9, 2010 Yes! I am so totally thrilled for you! You have put a huge smile on my face. We have talked quite a bit and I know you will keep her. Your love for her is so very true and you took such an honest heartfelt and patient look at what the problems were. Thank you for being there for me the times I've been down. She is a lucky woman & I'm sure she will see how devoted you are to her happiness, as well as your own, which is the key you hold in your hands with such resolve. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bungalo Posted April 9, 2010 Author Share Posted April 9, 2010 Thanks All. During the breakup, I went back to my old therapist, joined Codependents anonymous, read tons of books on spirituality and rel/ships..joined the gym, dated a little. started to get more involved in my work, and did a lot of soul searching. She got a new therapist, and did a lot of healing and grieving work, dated a little, joined some singles groups and said something shifted a couple of weeks ago. We both drew closer to God and did a lot of praying. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
doiiiieeezie Posted April 9, 2010 Share Posted April 9, 2010 I'm happy that you two have started the reconciliation process, but now start slow! And continue the progress that you have been making since the breakup. And I do wish both of you continued happiness in the future. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jaygirl Posted April 9, 2010 Share Posted April 9, 2010 Hey Bungalo! Am also in codependents anon. Will send u a PM Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
watchingstorms Posted April 9, 2010 Share Posted April 9, 2010 Now there's a story to warm my heart! Bungalo, I'm thrilled for you! Good luck with everything! It's good to see people get what they want / need / deserve! Keep us posted! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
snoopydog Posted April 9, 2010 Share Posted April 9, 2010 Congrats. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
woodst0ck Posted April 9, 2010 Share Posted April 9, 2010 Brilliant news Bungalo. It's warmed my heart Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rapunzel Posted April 9, 2010 Share Posted April 9, 2010 Wow! Well, there is the saying "third time's the charm". I hope it works out for you! I'm sure after what you've been through emotionally the past 5 months you will take things slowly and cautiously. Good luck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bungalo Posted April 9, 2010 Author Share Posted April 9, 2010 Yes..caution is the word. It's so tempting to just fly back in to things...but I have to guard myself..it is pretty sweet though... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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