How often do you dream of your ex?

[jaygirl]

I am beginning to get cos i dream of him every single night! its really not nice. waking up to the thought of ur ex is not a good feeling. and the dreams are so silly. its become an everyday issue.

 

 

please others in NC/Breakups:

 

1. how often do you dream of your ex

2. When did you stop dreaming about them regularly (if ur answer to the above is yes)

3. any suggestiions to stop this from happening?

 

 

thanks

[abigheart]

I have been having several dreams of my ex, too. I wouldn't say daily, but they have been happening often. Not surprised because although it's been a month, it's still very fresh.

 

I don't think you can really stop dreams from happening. I mean, I would suggest maybe not thinking about him before you go to bed? I don't know...I'm not a dream expert, but I know that recent convos, happenings, thoughts come through in dreams?

 

When they do come up, you just have to move on and shrug it off because dreams are dreams, and they're going to happen regardless so you'd be wasting a lot of your time if you were to dwell and try to interpret them.

[HugeHeart]

I, too, have been dreaming of my ex. I have read that dreaming is a way of working out our problems while we sleep. Although I am not quite sure what the solution to my problem is.

 

Jaygirl, how long of a relationship were you in with your ex?

[jaygirl]

2 yrs 2 months

[npc24]

i dream of him once a month usually..two nights ago i dreamed he was older, and smoking crack....i know it sounds crazy. i was always so afraid hed go down a weird path after he left me. he has and it just hurts to think about it and still care 2 years and 9 months after.

[sooky]

still dream of him...9 months later. there are a lot of things i didn't get to say to him, and i probably never will...so dreams will have to do.

[HugeHeart]

Jaygirl, was your breakup a mutual one? You asked what you could do to prevent yourself from dreaming about him. Maybe it isn't such a bad thing that you are dreaming about him? I know I am grasping here a bit. Are you still NC with him?

 

I was NC with my ex for over 6 months. I would dream about her from time to time. She contacted me about 4 months ago and now I dream about her on a pretty regular basis. I think if I go NC again, that my thoughts and dreams about her will fade again (that is why I asked if you were NC)

[intolerable]

To the OP:

 

I dream of my ex sometimes, although now it's quite rarely. Back when the break-up was fresh, I dreamt of him for 3 weeks straight, and when I wake up I feel crappy. Now I dream of him rarely and sometimes even sexually, but it doesn't bother me anymore. It's more of "oh, it's him again."

 

I don't think there's really anyway of stopping it... I'm not sure. I never tried to stop it. It just went away on its own.

[CatsMeeoow]

lol... I had dreams of one guy for over 10yr... they did become infrequent over time... sometimes it might have been once in the last two years... and they were always the really vivid dreams that you wake up feeling... "what in the world" over!

 

I just accepted them but that was easier to do the longer from the relationship.

 

Hadn't spoken to him in nearly 10yr when I get this 3pg letter of apology... the dreams stopped! I never contacted him but now... even 10yr after the letter I occasionally think about doing so... I am curious where he ended up in life 20+yr later!

 

Hang in there.. it does get better!

[minou]

I dream of him several times a week though it's been 2 years! We were married 12. I am still so in love with my man. I'm really good at dream analysis, so if you have questions about a specific dream, feel free to post.

[jaygirl]

Wow. Minou! Noooo. I don't want it to continue that long! D dreams are tormenting. It was a mutual breakup. He didn't see me in his future. Seven weeks now, saw him on d fourth week, had sex, and after that decided to go strict nc. He only called me once on day 14. I dint pick, and haven't heard from him since den. Am on day 20 nc now. Am fairly strong, just hate the dreams.

 

Minou, hmmm, pls interprete the one I had last night. I went out with our mutual friend and his gf, and we stumbled into my ex. And we all went to hang out. I sat on his lap and kept trying to move my lips close to his so he would kiss me but he kept dodging. Then he made a statement that made me realise we were never coming back together (I can't remember what it was) and I became sad and woke up.

[minou]

This is just your subconscious working through the reality as it exists today... you want to get back together... the way you last experienced him he does not. How very painful to keep experiencing that live, albeit in a dream. It takes time to process the grief and your mind is working on it in your sleep. Your dreams will probably taper off as you heal. Good luck and feel free to pm me if you ever have a puzzling dream.

[Flywest29]

Its going on 5 years since we split and I still have dreams of her from time to time. They feel so real sometimes it's almost hard to wake up and realize its just a dream

[adviseseeker]

I still dream of him every once in a while, it's been 5.5 months - I think a lot of it is because I end up thinking about him before bed. At the beginning I would have very vivid dreams almost every night. I bought a dream book and looked into dream analysis too! I've learned quite a bit from it. Most of dreaming is about what you desire, wish you could be, your brains way of going over what has already happened, or your subconscious telling you something. The ones with my ex in them were usually just about us being happy and together again, or being intimate.

 

During the first month after the break up though I started having these strange dreams where I was in water - either underwater or in choppy waves and also one with fish and a whale trying to attack me. Turns out dreams where you are in deep water relate to being in very tough emotional situations that you're trying to overcome. Anyway the book was pretty neat, when I have a strange dream I look it up in my book now.