Sweetiepie91 Posted March 29, 2010 Share Posted March 29, 2010 Heres a list let me know what you think * He told me he loved me within 2 weeks of meeting. * Had a lot of therapy for anger problems. * My ipod meant alot to me until i lost it, and i could swear i left it in him room, but he apperently looked everywhere and said it wasent. * Spoke about his very voilent past, and always fighting people, gangsters etc. * I agreed to let him do anal on me ,and he said hed stop if it hurt, and when i told him to stop, he became rough and got out when i eventually shouted in pain ( so sorry to be graphic guys) * Always said i was the one, and hes never met someone like me before and made me feel like a princess for the first month or so and told me about all the dreams he kept having about our future we were both into mediums and spiritually etc or so i was, (maybe he knew it was my weak spot).. * My ex was best friends with my uncle and he was paranoid when i spoke to my uncle on facebook, it was my ex on his account. * He would talk about how his ex's in the past still beg for him back. * I went to stay with my family down south for the week without him about 5 hrs away , when i came home he accused me of all sorts and if i defended myself he would mimick what i said and shake his head. * One night we both got very drunk, and i went on facebook my uncle popped up and he assumed it was my ex, he suddenly threw something at the wall shouted calling me a slag running out of the room and punching the floor until his wrist was almost broke.. saying he did it because he loved me so much, and he would never lay a finger on me. he then cried and went on about marrying me, i shrugged it off. * Kept going on about getting a place together, holidays, marriage etc * Told me not to tell anyone when the above happenned, and said how immature i was and theres certian things i should change about myself. * We once were play fighting and he strangled me playfully but tight till i was panicking and trying to shove him off and then he just started laughing, and i ignored it. * He says i was to influenced by my very close nan and uncle , and i should just back away from them. * Wanted me to delete my facebook account. and was extremely happy when i did for a short while. * He told me things about him and other girls, so i got upset and he then said he was lying and he loved me really. * I broke up with him and he said i did it while his dad had cancer, im not a nice girl, and i shouldnt have any friends and i'd come crawling back. * ive been recently begging for him back threw emails, and messages and non of which hes replied to at all. * told me he likes to be suffocated with love, but then gives me silent treatment. After all this i still cant get him out of my head...... Any advice or experiences are welcome, ive never been through anything like this before Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KG Posted March 29, 2010 Share Posted March 29, 2010 Run Away Fast. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FathomFear Posted March 29, 2010 Share Posted March 29, 2010 This guy is best friends with your uncle. How old is he? Either way, it sounds like a bad situation. I wouldn't say it was "abuse" per se--you were a willing participant. I would take these as signs to willingly leave. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sweetiepie91 Posted March 29, 2010 Author Share Posted March 29, 2010 This guy is best friends with your uncle. How old is he? Either way, it sounds like a bad situation. I wouldn't say it was "abuse" per se--you were a willing participant. I would take these as signs to willingly leave. My ex before him was best friends with my 18 year old uncle (long story) , hence why the recent one didnt like me making contact with my uncle.. paranoid that my ex will try getting with me again through him x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HeartGoesOn Posted March 29, 2010 Share Posted March 29, 2010 He's a text book case of a controlling abuser, and you need to get away from him ASAP, before he physically harms you, and he will!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sweetiepie91 Posted March 29, 2010 Author Share Posted March 29, 2010 He's a text book case of a controlling abuser, and you need to get away from him ASAP, before he physically harms you, and he will!! Thankyou, my family all warned me away from him as much as possible after he told me his psychic and i actually began to believe whatever i do he'd know about... blimey what was i thinking hmm i feel such a fool someone like that got me hooked :sad: x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ToF Posted March 29, 2010 Share Posted March 29, 2010 Don't ever contact him again. Please, it will only make things worse. Have you been to therapy? I think you should try it out. This guy really did a number on you and I think it would help to talk things out with someone. He is just bad news. Nothing about this relationship was good or healthy, and you were absolutely right to break up with him. And yes, you were emotionally abused. IMO. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sweetiepie91 Posted March 29, 2010 Author Share Posted March 29, 2010 Don't ever contact him again. Please, it will only make things worse. Have you been to therapy? I think you should try it out. This guy really did a number on you and I think it would help to talk things out with someone. He is just bad news. Nothing about this relationship was good or healthy, and you were absolutely right to break up with him. And yes, you were emotionally abused. IMO. I did go to see a counciler once when going into surgery for a breast enhancment due to a 6 stone weight loss and she suggested i went for some therapy because of my confidence and bullying i went through it the past 99% of it from boys when i was in school. My confidence was great before he came along, but now hes managed to put my self esteem back to how it used to be. Thanks for the advice, good idea x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ToF Posted March 29, 2010 Share Posted March 29, 2010 I did go to see a counciler once when going into surgery for a breast enhancment due to a 6 stone weight loss and she suggested i went for some therapy because of my confidence and bullying i went through it the past 99% of it from boys when i was in school. My confidence was great before he came along, but now hes managed to put my self esteem back to how it used to be. Thanks for the advice, good idea x You're welcome I think you will be okay. Just don't talk to him! It's not easy, by any stretch of the imagination, but just do everything in your power to cut contact from him. delete him from facebook, take him out of your phone, and erase any pictures or messages having to do with him.. The last part is particularly difficult, but when I did it after my last break up, I found that it helped a lot. My hope is that you learn a lot about yourself in this process. Things like these often have a way of showing you how strong you really are Here for you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fr0z3n Posted March 29, 2010 Share Posted March 29, 2010 all I can say is he's a psycho... Im a man and a man isn't suppose to do that, not even think about doing that... Please do yourself a favor and get him out of your head and avoid him at all cost... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Taikero Posted March 29, 2010 Share Posted March 29, 2010 I'm going to go ahead and echo what's already been said. This guy is a control freak and now that you're out I would stay out. Stay away from him. He does not have your best interest at heart. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sweetiepie91 Posted March 29, 2010 Author Share Posted March 29, 2010 You're welcome I think you will be okay. Just don't talk to him! It's not easy, by any stretch of the imagination, but just do everything in your power to cut contact from him. delete him from facebook, take him out of your phone, and erase any pictures or messages having to do with him.. The last part is particularly difficult, but when I did it after my last break up, I found that it helped a lot. My hope is that you learn a lot about yourself in this process. Things like these often have a way of showing you how strong you really are Here for you. I only really see him in college because he lives away, so when july comes i never have to see his face again. Well he blocked and deleted me on facebook the second i finished him through text and didnt speak to me for 4 days or try making contact , i think that was one of the most hurtfull things because im so nosey! and like to keep on eye on ex's. but all messages and everything have been deleted, i even chopped the head of my big valentines teddy and threw it away. I just hope i can keep strong if he trys making contact again, hes very good with words x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Taikero Posted March 29, 2010 Share Posted March 29, 2010 I just hope i can keep strong if he trys making contact again, hes very good with words x Just remember he's also good at making you feel like complete crap. That should keep things in perspective. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sweetiepie91 Posted March 29, 2010 Author Share Posted March 29, 2010 Just remember he's also good at making you feel like complete crap. That should keep things in perspective. Very true!! x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ToF Posted March 29, 2010 Share Posted March 29, 2010 I only really see him in college because he lives away, so when july comes i never have to see his face again. Well he blocked and deleted me on facebook the second i finished him through text and didnt speak to me for 4 days or try making contact , i think that was one of the most hurtfull things because im so nosey! and like to keep on eye on ex's. but all messages and everything have been deleted, i even chopped the head of my big valentines teddy and threw it away. I just hope i can keep strong if he trys making contact again, hes very good with words x I know how that feels. My last ex was the one to delete me from his facebook, which hurt terribly. But it ended up being a very good thing. Have you deleted him from your phone? That might be your next step. If he contacts you again, immediately start talking to someone else. Maybe have some of your friends on "standby", so they know that you might have to vent to them if something happens. My current boyfriend knows all about my past relationships, how I was hurt, etc, and he told me that as much as those things destroyed me at the time, I learned too much for it not to have been worth it. That might not mean much to you now, but maybe it will a little down the road. Oh, and I bet the teddy bear decapitation was excellent! Although, it's a shame you had to harm the innocent bear in your healing process. But I'm sure he understood Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sweetiepie91 Posted March 29, 2010 Author Share Posted March 29, 2010 QUOTE=TwistOfate08;4146525]I know how that feels. My last ex was the one to delete me from his facebook, which hurt terribly. But it ended up being a very good thing. Have you deleted him from your phone? That might be your next step. If he contacts you again, immediately start talking to someone else. Maybe have some of your friends on "standby", so they know that you might have to vent to them if something happens. My current boyfriend knows all about my past relationships, how I was hurt, etc, and he told me that as much as those things destroyed me at the time, I learned too much for it not to have been worth it. That might not mean much to you now, but maybe it will a little down the road. Oh, and I bet the teddy bear decapitation was excellent! Although, it's a shame you had to harm the innocent bear in your healing process. But I'm sure he understood WOW i pieced a few things together, and a girl added me on facebook telling me her and him are hooking up, I wouldnt mind she is absoloutley awfull looking.. ratty blonde extensions quite a big girl but wears clothes two times to small with pictures of herself half naked aswell as this shes extremely short hed always gone on about how he loves my model structure! Maybe this is another part of the games, go for a girl people class not as pretty as me.. and make me feel even lower about myself!! Eitherway i think shes done me a favour, i warned her to watch out for him and told her all the things he does.. and what he says, hes already played the psychic card to her. and she says she doesnt know who to believe i basically told her to have fun. Im starting to see shes done me a huge favour Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sweetiepie91 Posted April 1, 2010 Author Share Posted April 1, 2010 I thought id been doing great busying myself lots, I went to a house party last night and am going to town with a big bunch of girls saturday night. But then tonight, i cant get him out of my heads i just want him so bad. A friend of his whose liked me since i got with carl has been talking to me on facebook, and i just cant even feel the desire to go with anyone else because im still pining for carl I tore up valentines cards before and threw away presents earlier tonight , yeah we controlling but know ones ever made me feel that safe before at the same time they way he looked at me and always touched me i just thought he really loved me Ive had an 8 month relationship and still havent missed it like i did in this one with the control freak, i know hes bad for me but why are these emotions carrying on. that mustnt be good to feeling like this after 3 months of seeing somebody!! Still no contact from him neither Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Taikero Posted April 1, 2010 Share Posted April 1, 2010 Stay strong and don't contact him! It may still hurt for a while because he seems to have done a really good job at pulling on your heartstrings. Give it some more time and this pain too will pass. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sweetiepie91 Posted April 1, 2010 Author Share Posted April 1, 2010 Stay strong and don't contact him! It may still hurt for a while because he seems to have done a really good job at pulling on your heartstrings. Give it some more time and this pain too will pass. Thankyou, Im not going to contact him ive realised my contacting gives him a power trip id rather not let him feel i care at all anymore. I liked the way he loved me, and im a bit scared at the moment that ill never meet someone who will make me feel that way again not that im looking, but i just hope itll come eventually :sad: ... When i found out hed been cheating the other day, i told the girl some pretty harsh personal stuff about him... and i feel extremely guilty now like why should i feel bad after all hes done to me he should expect me to be a bit bitter, ive deleted and blocked the girl now after she pointlessly added me attention seeking c.o.w I promise though.. No contact no matter what! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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