Im the other man......

[FarthestEdge]

=D>=D>=D>=D>

 

There is nothing more than this that needs to be said...read it again OP....and again.

[Demlynp0726]

Wow - I just finished reading all of the other posts on this thread.

 

"she told me her family and her husband have all sat together and discussed the situation. She told me she has confessed we have have slept together as well as telling her husband she is in love with me. Her husband has asked her if it is finished between them and she thinks he will not be able to trust her ever again now."

 

 

Wake up. It wasn't until your friendship got out of hand until you started hearing about any marital problems. YOU are the reason - you and the unfaithful wife together are solely responsible for the destruction of vows and a family. Either one of you could have been strong and done the right thing but BOTH of you made a choice - a very selfish choice.

 

That child's life has been destroyed by your hand. How many nights will that child miss daddy - or mommy? How many times will that child be shipped back and forth? How painful is it for that child to have the security and reassurance of the two people he/she loves and needs most in this world ripped apart - no longer bonded and happy - the strength in their joint love and parenting available? Instead, that child experiences the heart ache of the alienation and pain between them...wishing they could all just love each other. The core source of that child's nurturing has been ripped apart and damaged forever. How did you like losing your mother? You didn't. You suffered an enormous loss. This child still has both parents living but the death that has occurred to his/her family unit and their ability to provide that same nurturing environment is very, very real to that child. Just as real as losing your mother was for you.

 

There's more. As a wife who was cheated on, the realization of what my husband was able to do with another person and how he could lead such a double life destroyed me. He told his other woman the same lies this woman told you. But guess what? The entire time he was with her, he was still sleeping with me, having phenomenal sex with me, holding me and watching TV, sleeping in my arms, telling me he loved me, buying me flowers and gifts, and planning a future with me. He told his girlfriend we slept in separate bedrooms, didn't have sex and he was only here for the child. When I discovered the truth, I was devastated. Our son was devastated. I threw him out. I loved him. I wanted our marriage to work but I wasn't about to live that way. It was her or me and his child. Our son cried and cried. He grew depressed. He failed in school. He needed therapy. He needed medication. He stayed a week with me, then a week with daddy - over and over. He kept trying to get us all together. He kept saying "My parents love each other" to anyone who would listen. He gained 50 pounds and had the added stress of being teased by his peers. THIS is reality.

 

My husband went into a depression. At first, he ran to the other woman for comfort. To be reassured that he had value and he was "love-able". She wasn't me. She wasn't the woman taking care of all of his needs. She was the woman who was sneaking around behind her husband's back and not spending another hour with her own child to screw him in a car and call it love. He began to realize that he could not love a person whose core values were so diluted. He realized he was truly in love with the woman he had been blessed with all these years. The woman who stayed by his side in sickness and in health, the woman who didn't run off with other men when times got tough, the woman who initiated sex and tried to spice things up at home, the woman who loves his little boy as much as he does and nurtures him, the woman who has always nurtured him too. The woman he had at home was a keeper. The woman who ran around on her husband and left her child to have sex with him in a car was definitely NOT a keeper. He ended the relationship with the other woman.

 

I gave him another chance. The ONLY second chance I will give him. I did this because I love him and I feel that he is truly remorseful and regrets what he has done with all of his heart. I believe he has learned from his mistakes and his actions echo this. He returned home after some joint therapy and amazing things began to happen. We rediscovered our love for each other. The passion in our marriage was restored. We both discovered that we missed the “best friendship” that we previously shared and having it back on a deeper level was worth more than all the Gold in the world. We are so blessed to have each other. The communication we share now enhances all areas of our marriage, especially our sex life. Our son is happy and confident again. Even now, a year later, he looks at the two of us snuggling and laughing on the sofa – smiles the biggest smile he has in him, runs over to us with tears of joy in his eyes and joins in on the hug. He is only 10 years old and he cries tears of joy to have his two primary nurturers bonded together in strength, love, happiness, and unison and he reaps all the rewards that comes with that.

 

Now here you are and there she is. You long for a fantasy. Your mother did not send this woman to you from above, I guarantee. Your mother is likely shedding a tear and hanging her head in shame at what role you have played in the destruction of those lives.

 

These people do not belong to you. You have no rights to any of them. She is not your wife. She is not your mother. She is someone else’s wife. She is someone else’s mother. You need to find your own. Leave them alone and let them heal. Her husband must truly love her to give her chances and not let her run off on the worst mistake she could make in her life. He cares that the child has both parents. He is both a good husband and a good father. She married him for many reasons – no one held a gun to her head. On her wedding day, I’m sure she was the happiest woman alive. Her dreams had come true. Sharing the birth of a child together had been a wonderful experience for them, until you came into the picture. You must be a very selfish person to expect her to take all of these losses, to hurt her in so many ways, to hurt her child – which ultimately hurts the child’s mother (if she is a loving mother as you say), to hurt an innocent man, to rip a family wide apart – all to satisfy your own personal “high” on having forbidden fruit. That’s not love and commitment. That’s lust and destruction. That’s just you wanting to win. If you loved her, you wouldn’t want to put her or her child (a part of her) through any of that.

 

You think being with her full-time is the solution to all your problems. You think being with her full time is going to be a continuation of what you shared while she was sneaking around with you in secret. You are dead wrong. It will only be that way as long as it IS that way.

 

You know, your mother didn’t raise you this way. And it isn’t because she wanted t o deprive you of anything. Your mother wanted you to have the very best in all things and to be happy and healthy above all things in life. She would not want this for you. She would want you to find a woman who is available – not married to another man. She would want for you to have a good devoted wife. She would pray for you to have a loving, faithful, wife who supported you, adored you, cooked and cleaned for you, attended to you in illness, protected you, paid your bills, attended to your children, and made you her and her children a top priority. She wouldn’t want a mother for her grandchildren that would run off to another country with another man that she hooked up with while married to her son. She sure as hell wouldn’t want you to play a part in doing that to someone else either. Again, this is not because she doesn’t understand or wants to deprive you of anything – because she wants what’s best for you and will make you the HAPPIEST. No second best for her boy. While you are wasting your life on coveting another man’s wife, your true love and destiny is slipping further and further from your fingertips.

 

Make your mother proud. Do the right thing and let go. If you love this woman as you say you do, show it by being strong for her and giving her the gift of her marriage and family. Give her life back to her. She had none of this destruction until you. You think ending all contact with her will hurt her. You are wrong. She will grieve the loss of a friend who briefly entered her life yes but she stands to gain all of the happiness that my husband and I have found - and we are not alone. Give her, her husband and her child the chance to be happier and more complete than they have ever been in their lives. You reap what you sow in life. I have witnessed this countless times. I would hate to see you years down the road experiencing the destruction of your own life and the lives of your own child(ren). Rather, I hope you are blessed with a happier, more complete life than you have ever known. I also hope that your mother is proud of the person you have become and the choices you have made.

[lionquack]

Demlynp0726,

 

Thank you so much for your post. If I am honest your words bought a tear to my eye as I know most of what you wrote is true. I will read this over and over to help me to go NC.

 

I have not posted here for a few days in shame. I admit it and am not proud of the destruction I am causing.

 

Me and the OW have been in contact on Skype everyday. I get panic attacks if I don't see her or speak with her. When we speak I feel so happy its indescribable and her too.

 

This situation is one of the hardest things I have had to deal with but this is multiplied multiple times for her as she is stuck in her country where she does not want to be and has no job or money and is hated by her in laws and is now SEPARATED.

 

I feel responsible for ALL this..... yes. Does it make me feel good...hell no.

 

Do I still love her despite our 4 weeks apart and despite what has happened....Hell yes. I ache for her everyday. It wont switch off. I keep busy as hell but still am drawn to her.

 

She has asked me to move on.....I have tried but no other women comes close.

[Sanesoul]

I have to say that you are still being very selfish during all of this. You are in love with someone you shouldn't be, simple as that.

 

Whenever you get the urge to talk to her, think about her child and her poor husband.

 

What kind of person rips apart her family and then feels sorry for herself?

 

Not a very good one.

[turnera]

lion, call your father RIGHT NOW and tell him what you've done. Ask him for help.

 

That's all you have to do.

[Demlynp0726]

You are still being selfish and trying to get your daily fix of attention. You are addicted to the attention. You need to stop. You need to find value in yourself. You are not truly repentant for your actions if you continue them. You are not genuinely seeking advice if you post here for help and keep on doing what you are doing. This situation has become all there is to who you are and that is not healthy. It's obsession. You need to see a professional. Every time you are tempted to contact her - do something else. Get rid of the computer if you have to. You are dragging her out of a good life and robbing her of great rewards. For what? A what if? A I wonder? Please. Go back and re-read my previous posts. Get your own life. Be a good person and not a vulture.

[JLE]

I understand what you are going through. I'm in a similar situation. Nobody here seems to understand that we do feel badly about what were doing to everyone involved. I came to this site looking for some support and haven't really received too much. It's hard having everyone tell me what a terrible person I am. I've made some bad choices but I don't think I'm a bad person. I know how much you love this woman. NC is very difficult when you love a person more than anything. I'm going to get a ton of repercussions for saying this, but here it goes. I'm questioning whether many participants on this site have ever felt true love. We all know that what Lion and I are doing isn't right. But it's impossible to just forget about someone you've fallen so deeply in love with. If any of you have ever felt this than maybe you'd understand our situations a little better. I'm not asking for you to condone what we're doing, just try to look at this from an angle you've maybe never considered. Bashing us and telling us what terrible people we are isn't going to help anything. If it makes all of you feel better to unload on us then go ahead, I guess it's part of the program.

[turnera]

Obviously you don't feel badly ENOUGH to stop hurting other people.

 

Why do you think that you deserve support for HURTING people just to make YOU happy?

 

Please. Explain it to me.

[Sanesoul]

I will never understand a situation where you allow yourself to fall in love with another woman when you have a wife at home.

 

That is a CHOICE, not some cosmic energy.

 

Love is not hurting people and doing the right thing.

[lionquack]

Thank you JLE. You TRULY Understand. Is it because you are as selfish as me? No!

 

Or is it because you are going through the same torment, heartache, pain, remorse, guilt as me...and an undying love for a MARRIED women....yes!

 

I hear you brother and you are not alone. Its is easy for us to become targets for some people on this forum but I think they are just trying to help us as they think are judgement is clouded. They are right in some ways as we have CHOSEN to be involved in relationships which are immoral.

 

I have read your thread and you have taken a beating as have I. Its what I expected on a public forum. I agree we have made bad choices but that does not make us bad people.

[FarthestEdge]

Gentlemen...

 

It is your actions that define you. What you choose to do in the face of your circumstance will impact the judgement of those who love and (up until now)respect you.

 

It is the outcomes of your own choices that you will have to face.

 

Are you good men? I think you WANT to be, but you are stuggling with a moral choice that is for you, in this moment, very difficult.

 

But this moment will pass. The question is, who do you want to be when you emerge from this moment. Be sure that the choices you make, will permit you to look at YOURSELVES in the mirror and and believe that what you have done is the right thing to do.

 

You know brave men aren't brave because they're not afraid of danger. Truly brave men are wise enough to fear the danger, and still charge into the battle, because they believe it's the right thing to do, and someone needs to do it. Not for themselves, but for everyone.

 

You both know what is right, and you both know what you want. It is in making the choice between the right thing and the easy thing, that you will define yourselves.

 

BTW- JLE, your comment that none of us here must have ever loved is on the verge of delusional, and highly deflective. How would you feel if we suggested that you must not love your children, because anyone who has ever loved their children, would never put them through what you already have? I think you'd be highly offended by that remark, and rightfully so. Don't try to knock us because we're not willing to tell you it's ok to destroy a family because you are bored, and have allowed your judgement to be clouded because another woman uncrossed her knees for you.

 

But thanks for the laugh. I don't need to destroy the lives of others to experience love. There may be other love affairs out there for me to ride a rainbow of fantasy, but I choose to focus my energy on my own marriage and save my children, my husband and myself a lot of unnecesary heartache. And I believe my rewards will continue to be much greater than if I had searched for some "happily ever after' in other men who don't know and understand me as my husband does.

 

That's my choice. What's yours going to be?

[Demlynp0726]

It's interesting in all your discussion of options that you have not mentioned loving her so much that you would give up everything and move to her so she can still have her child in her life and not lose everything. What exactly were you giving up for her? Is she giving up her entire life to come to you and just add to yours? Hmmmmmm ...... do I need to say how that sounds or can you determine that on your own?

 

I really don't think any of the people here are saying "You are a bad person" - we who have been where you are and where your married woman is - are trying to tell you that you are both making bad choices. Just the same as your mother would tell you. I'm fairly certain she would look at you with some amount of disappointment and tell you "Honey, you know what you are doing is wrong and I can not condone it." She would probably go on to make sure you understood what you were doing to a family and a child by making this bad choice in the hopes that she raised a good man who would comprehend and do the right thing. Not because she wants to bludgeon you. Because she loves you.

 

Look - I've been there. On both sides. It's horrible. It feels very, very real. Nothing else in this world seems to matter. You are lost in a fog and it consumes you - it's all you can think about. I really have been there. Ending it was painful. But once I pulled my head out of the bucket and realized there was an entire world and life and true love that I was missing out on, what I had let go of came more into focus. It was an addiction to a feeling - a feeling of lust and desire for something forbidden, new and exciting. Just like a person addicted to a drug can think of nothing else and will do anything to get his next fix with no concern or regard for what the consequences are - so are you right now. I'm sorry, but it isn't healthy. I do not believe I would be helping anyone by lying to you and telling you what you want or hope to hear. I believe you want just ONE person to give you permission or feel validated that this is your destiny. And you know what? You ask enough people, you will probably get the answer you are looking for - does it change the reality of the circumstances? No.

 

My husband had a three year affair (Karma is the biggest I've met yet). We worked through it. He ended it and went no contact with the woman. She moved on and in with a new man - whom I became friends with and informed of the past situation so we both could be aware of any warning signs. Our fire at home was rekindled and our best friendshp better than ever and our sex life skyrocketed into something neither of us could ever dream of before. We are happy in love.

 

I have loved. I have lusted. I have lost. I have loved. People don't walk down the isle with those great big smiles on their faces and tears in their eyes because they have never experienced true love. You have no idea the love and bond of sharing the birth of the child you created together. She does though and living together day in and day out will show her the difference in what she has in lust and what she had in love. You probably will not like the outcome because with that knowledge comes the power to change and move on.

 

You have two paths ahead of you to choose from. Both of them begin with pain, then healing, then happiness. One of them will end tragically with what you have sown for yourself in life and Karma makes its rounds. And it does. Either way, it will end without her in your life forever. Thankfully God blessed us with the capacity to love more than once in life.

 

You are on your own. You have a lot of responsibility in your hands. You have been taught the difference between right and wrong. You have been given the blessing of learning from the experience of others who have been there. You know there are consquences for your actions and how serious they are. You know what your mother would say. You know everything you need to know to make the best decision for everyone involved and make the best outcome for the most people. It' up to you.

[Demlynp0726]

Lion - when I look at your post history going back to the first I think in 2009 with the woman who lived 20 seconds away from you and had another man in Australia? - is all of this over the same woman? Or is this a pattern of cheating women? Not to be horribly blunt - but - well?

[SirLaughalot]

I have never dated a mother before and she has that motherly instinct which has been missing from my life since my mother passed away 6 years ago.

 

Based on this statement, what seems to be missing from your life is happiness from within.

 

She remains in an unhappy marriage with a child- a young human life who has no say in all this dysfunction, and you are stating that she fulfills this void you have.

 

I mean, read what you are writing. I do not say this to pontificate to you, I say this so maybe you can get some clarity here. This is terribly unhealthy, and the affair is obviously even more unhealthy.

[lionquack]

Lion - when I look at your post history going back to the first I think in 2009 with the woman who lived 20 seconds away from you and had another man in Australia? - is all of this over the same woman? Or is this a pattern of cheating women? Not to be horribly blunt - but - well?

 

Demlynp0726,

 

The women back in 2009 is a different women. She emotionally cheated on me which is why I finished it.

 

This morning I feel terrible. I spoke with the MW on Skype for 3 hours yesterday.

After our conversation I realised everytime I speak with her I feel happy. When the call ended I felt an overwhelming feeling of not achieving anything but short term happiness. I realised this will carry on like this as long as I allow it to. I feel I deserve better. I feel if she really wanted to come back to the UK she could but she has'nt and wont.

 

This morning she instigated conversations 12 times but I ignored her. She got desperate. I ignored her as I feel I don't want her this way anymore but she is not strong enough to pull away from this.

 

This is all causing everyone involved nothing but pain. But as ignored her I feel an overwhelming feeling to contact her now and send her a message....like a drug.:sad:

[turnera]

Uh...she CAN'T come back because her husband took her son's passport! Because of YOU!

 

If you are so addicted, act like a MAN for once and go visit a psychologist and get professional help.

[RobD70]

Or is it because you are going through the same torment, heartache, pain, remorse, guilt as me...and an undying love for a MARRIED women....yes!

When I read this the first thing that pops in my mind is that you are in love with the fantasy life you think you'll have with this woman. I know that feeling and it's like a drug but it's not real.

 

You seem to have a huge insecurity problem that's sabotaging your life. The problem isn't that you are so in love with her, it's that you are looking for an escape from your life. If you got what you think you wanted you would be highly disappointed.

 

You should see a therapist about working on your self esteem issues. Once you get that issue resolved you will no longer feel so co-dependent on her and "do the right thing" so to speak.

[mikem]

When I read this the first thing that pops in my mind is that you are in love with the fantasy life you think you'll have with this woman. I know that feeling and it's like a drug but it's not real.

 

You seem to have a huge insecurity problem that's sabotaging your life. The problem isn't that you are so in love with her, it's that you are looking for an escape from your life. If you got what you think you wanted you would be highly disappointed.

 

You should see a therapist about working on your self esteem issues. Once you get that issue resolved you will no longer feel so co-dependent on her and "do the right thing" so to speak.

 

 

Agreed.

 

"Me and the OW have been in contact on Skype everyday. I get panic attacks if I don't see her or speak with her. When we speak I feel so happy its indescribable and her too..."

 

The panic attacks/happiness are indicator you are with someone who doesn't belong to you. You are always on shakey ground. Went through a similar thing with a lady and it was unnerving. Eventually had to get off the 'rollercoaster'. Where there is no trust there is no future in a relationship...

[lionquack]

this is ALL kinds of wrong. We go NC and break it. I get back up to be be pulled back down...its a vicious circle.

[FarthestEdge]

this is ALL kinds of wrong. We go NC and break it. I get back up to be be pulled back down...its a vicious circle.

 

So lose her number, and change yours. Change your e-mail and drop any online accounts she has access to.

 

Disappear like you would if she was the mob and you owed her money.

 

YOU control your choices and actions.

[Baily]

You better be clear what will happen on the flip side of your fun...

 

As a guy who had this happened....YOU BETTER WAKE THE HELL UP!!!

 

If he ever catches you with her....he MAY kill you....you are taking a HUGE risk messing around with a married woman.....

 

don't think for a second your life isn't in danger....you are playing with his marriage and his kids.

 

Knowing that he's married and you keep doing it....the risk is 100% yours.

 

don't come crying when he finds out...and believe me he will....there are always signs that she is giving....he'll follow her and find you one day...all he has to do is check the phone records online....I'll bet your number comes up a lot...do a history check on her computer...it's there...and finally financial records...last but not least is his gut feeling....he'll eventually have a friend follow her and they'll find you.

 

Here's what I did upon finding the other person....

 

1 - I made a website dedicated to them...so that anyone and everyone who ever looks up his name finds out what he did..the website is legal as I purchased their name and only published letters and info from them...but google anyone who ever looks up their name for the remainder of time will find out.

2 - contacted the other persons employer and notified them of the persons actions...they were fired within 3 weeks of me calling and showing up with my kid.

3 - sent letters to everyone in his neighborhood - so that they know the scum bag that they are

 

I made SURE that he won't ever walk away from this...they knew the risks they were getting involved with...I keep the website up and have done so for 2 years now....I even advertised it in facebook and myspace ...I'm happy to pay the five cents per hit they charge.....and I'll leave it up for the remainder of time....

 

and now you do as well.

 

mods - I am only trying to show him that there is another person on the other side of this affair and letting him know the serious risks that are included within his behavior.

[FarthestEdge]

Whoa dude...

 

While I am horribly, horribly sorry you were cheated on, I have to say, this is a little frightening.

 

The OM didn't make any promises to you. Your ex did. SHE is the one who should provoke your ire. Chances are, if it hadn't been him, it would have been someone else.

 

Also- you mention kids. Has it occurred to you that one day THEY may google their mother's name? What happens then when they read all the disgusting details of their MOTHER'S affair, because their FATHER put it out there for the world to see.

 

The best revenge is a life lived well. The fact that you continue to spend money to humiliate the OM tells me you are NOT living well. Your desire for revenge STILL consumes you. So now he's taken your wife, AND he continues to haunt you through this website you have created.

 

The OP needs to stop the affair because it is the right thing to do. When people do things for fear of what others will do, it is meaningless. He needs to find a moral backbone and walk away. But not because of fear of a psychotic husband.

 

And I would strongly urge you to consider if the existence of this website is helping you to heal, or keeping the wounds open and fresh, and pouring salt on them every day.

 

It's not healthy, IMO.

[Baily]

I agree that this person needs to stop because the greater good is to liv life well and to do the right thing. Problem avoided here his that there are serious real world consequences he faces.

 

This isn't about me. This is about this guy not knowing the revenge her husband may do to him.

He is absolutly ignorant to think he isn't risking everything when he does wha he does.

Just letting him know that he is a fool to think her hubby won't get wise...and to think hes only going to be mad at her...he is so wrong.

He better wake up...some guys are nice...but when u mess with their family...they can change

 

Hey budd...think what u would do to someone messing with your wife? He's going to act the same way.

 

Last..she's cheating on him with u...she'll cheat on u as well....but u don't think so...do u...that's how ignorant some people are.

[lionquack]

fair point Bailey. I understand your anger. But I did not betray her husband as I don't know him. SHE did.

 

I have tried to stay off ENA as reading the posts make me think about her.

 

I am happy to say I have been NC for 7days today. She has been NC for the past 4 days. This is a big achievement for me. I have managed this by coming to the realisation that I am chasing a dream/fantasy:

 

1. She is married, which is to say she chooses to remain committed to her Husband. She is not married to me and will never be, she has not chosen to be with me, she is not committed to me.

 

2. No more guilt about being the other man, a willing participant in deceit and deception. No more hiding the love in my life from those closest to me. No more secrets and white lies and half-truths and endless, endless complications.

 

3. No more worries of her being caught. No more sneaking around, worrying about who is watching and what they might have seen. No more checking for anyone her Husband or family knows who might be in some park or theater or restaurant where we might go.

 

4. No more false expectations. No more daydreaming about what could be, if only. No more fantasies about a future that exists only in my head. No more routine heartbreak, withered dreams, smothered hopes. No more loving an imaginary life with an imaginary woman. No more fake life, no more pretending.

 

5. No more sex for her “therapy,” feeling like a flesh-covered sex toy there for her comfort. No more lying in bed still flushed from lovemaking and watching her dress and fix her hair and face so she can go home to make dinner for her family while I heat up a can of soup. No more feeling humiliated and used. No more.

 

6. No more scraps. No more being the other man, a lover, yes, but always coming second. No more trying to make plans for the times left over from her marriage and her family. No more hurried phone calls while she is out running an errand, no more getting cut off because H has pulled into the driveway and so he's 'home' now and she can't talk to me anymore. No more hurried lunches or drive-by kisses. No more waiting to find out if she can come over, no more waiting for her to arrive, no more of this slapdash, slipshod relationship for me, no sir.

 

7. No more enabling. No more planning my life around hers, no more feeling bad for her. No more taking on her burdens and 'helping' her work through the problems in her “loveless” marriage. I will no longer listen to her criticize the emotional shortcomings of her H and complain about how awful it makes her feel, especially the supposedly “empty” sex, and then stand by as she chooses to stay with him again and again, with no empathy as to how much she hurts me. I will no longer be the man who makes it possible for her to have her cake and eat it too; I will no longer live half a life so she can live a life and a half.

 

8. No more emotional rollercoaster. No more unspoken words and buried feelings, no more having my misery and depression soothed with words and then ignored by her actions. No more wondering about whether we could be happy together, whether I could ever trust her. No more one-sided commitment, no more sharing her with him. No more listening to her get moody and jealous when I spend time with others (just friends – I gave up dating for her) because I want to go somewhere and do something, not just hang around since she is not available.

 

9. No more putting my dreams on hold. No more suppressing my desire to build a open normal life with someone who loves me alone and is committed to me alone, who wants to share a home with me, celebrate holidays and take vacations with me, cook dinner with me and cuddle up on the couch with me, go to bed beside me every night and wake up beside me every morning. I will no longer ignore the fact that I want a woman in my life who wants to live a real, public, open life with ME. She is out there, and we are going to find each other.

 

I have been keeping really busy with friends, Reading, Joined the gym, going dancing etc. I still have my panic attacks about her but I expect this will happen for a while before it gets better...but it is getting better already.

[LifesontheUp]

She has asked me to move on.....

 

Hello lionquack, everytime you think about getting in touch with her I suggest you remember the above. They are her words and from your posts she has told you this a number of times.

 

Stick to NC and get on with your life instead of hanging around for someone who isn't available to you. I wish you well in your healing.