saw photos of ex with new girl on facebook

[Anon333]

i thought i was free of all that facebook myspace drama because my ex doesnt have an account....it was hard enough friday night going out and seeing him and her together, but there was still mystery to it i didnt know. I didnt know how serious they were, and i didnt want to know...Now about an hour ago i clicked on a friends photo that lead to a big gathering of friends with him and his new girlfriend practically hosting it all smiling at eachother and looking in love....Wayyy more serious than I thought...they didnt seem lovey dovey when i saw them out. I had hoped it was still beginning stages or he was taking it slpw..i dont know...i just DID NOT want to see those photos..he looks happier than he ever did with me...relaxed, out with friends..I should be happy for him but my whole face burned when i saw they two of them...I had hope he would come back to me in a month or two..id been so good with no contact...but now there is no way he would think of being back with me..i know these images are going to haunt me for a long time....has anyone had to deal with this? what did you do? im sick by it....

[Anon333]

the look he made..the crooked smile,...like he found the one....like he was admiring her.....photo after photo of them.....they are just images...but i should maybe let them hurt me so i lose any hope he even cares anymore...

[Dragunov-21]

the look he made..the crooked smile,...like he found the one....like he was admiring her.....photo after photo of them.....they are just images...but i should maybe let them hurt me so i lose any hope he even cares anymore...

 

Maybe you shouldn't torment yourself - you already know now, hurting yourself more isn't going to help you.

 

You're going to find someone new, but it can't happen until you've moved on.

 

I've been there a couple of times, and it hurts like hell, I know. It also gets better, and far faster if you're having fun yourself rather than thinking about it. Try to distract yourself and it'll make it a lot easier.

[Sac]

facebook is the devil!!! my ex has a new guy and its exactly the same..they look happier ect. dont look anymore.

[Smythe]

You don't have to be happy for him. I wouldn't waste my time being angry either. Let it go and move on.

 

If you want to stay on FB, I suggest blocking him. Don't put yourself in a position to see pictures of him. Healing takes time. You need to heal first in order to move on. So do NC or whatever it takes to heal.

[CrapAtNC]

i found two thinks that helped ease the pain incredibly:

 

1. Accept the situation. Just accept it. A lot of the pain comes from having a deep-rooted desire to change what's happening. You can't change anything, and even if you could you shouldn't, so instead accept it. This makes you a happier, more relaxed, more attractive person too.

 

2. Realise that the worst has happened and it can't get worse than this. You got through it. You're still here. If the thought of them getting engaged or married burns you up, start to think of it as having happened already. This will make it easier to deal with should it happen while taking away the pain of expecting the worst.

 

I went through the same thing. I was torturing myself. No one was responsible for the pain I felt but me. So I took control of it. Now, I still love my ex but in a healthier kind of way, and I feel not an iota of pain when I see her with someone else (or hear about it). I know my next relationship will be much healthier thanks to this more mature way of dealing with these matters.

 

Be easier on yourself. Walk away from the pain. There's a whole new life and love waiting for you.

[Anon333]

crapatNC I love your suggestions....But HOW do you do this? ANyone know? how do you force yourself to feel this way or think this way when your brain and emotions wont let you....How do you not feel regret that you didnt appreciate the relationship while you had it, and now seeing someone else taking over and being the "right one" for him while I lost my chance. It is so hard to be okay with losing someone so easily and having them find someone better so easily....It is like I am being punched at the same time in every soft spot in my body, I cant protect myself from these feelings....I went out today with my step mom and just had this pit of dread the whole time..I jusr wanted to be alone so that I could cry....It is hard to be motivated right now, when i am so depressed over the situation..I dont think I could do it...Maybe in a month or two?

[LittleMadmoiselle]

Hey sweetie, I am SO sorry you had to see this online. Big "ugh". I completely know the feeling. Your heart feels like it's been set ablaze and dropped down screaming down a giant well in the pit of your stomach. Right?!?

 

I can only tell you a few things I've learned from various situations:

 

*Don't trust EVERYTHING you see on Facebook or other social networking sites.

*Things change. Trust that!

*I strongly advocate what I did at the onset of a torturous breakup/ex relationship I had some time ago: blocked him and the his new gf (the girl he left me for) on Facebook. That way, I couldn't accidentally come accross their stuff or find it, THEY couldn't see me, etc. etc. It helped me quite a bit. Out of sight, out of mind on the Facebook, at least!

 

I see it as a win/win, because you don't allow them the luxury to check up on YOU, either.

[RichardCollier]

That is why I deleted mine from the SNS

[Psych]

Yep. In a much-regretted moment of weakness, while expecting a phone call that never came, I caved and checked his FB page. What did I see? An eyeful of him looking all happy posed with some girl I didn't know, who had tagged him in her profile. I was bedridden for too long over that one. It didn't help when I met him for coffee and she kept calling him every 2 minutes. I thought the very worst. But he has since removed the tag, I have heard nothing about her since that one coffee meeting, and we are now in the process of reconciliation.

 

What I did was just keep my cool, not letting him know that it upset me. As an above post states, things often change. Furthermore, they are not always what they seem.

[Anon333]

Thanks everyone for the replies....THe last few days have been like breaking up all over again....I have been so emotional I felt like I was clinically depressed. I really felt like everything was crashing down, including any self esteem i had left. Today I realized alot of that was PMS (sorry guys), and it really was like a click of me being okay. It is soo important to be rational rather than emotional, but it I felt I had no control over my emotions...So that is another thing I wonder about break ups. Women have to deal with PMS and being emotional whereas men dont...This has made a huge impact on my last week or so.....I really was like a ball of nerves that were holding back tears all day...I dont know...

 

so now what everyone has written here, is much easier to read and help me feel better. Everything does change, and I have to remember that. My ex doesnt even belong to facebook, it was a photo taken by a mutual friend that I unexpectedly wound up seeing.....I know those photos are there and I NEVER want to see them again..I am so afraid I will keep seeing more by accident....I will try to avoid it at all costs....But I do have to remember things will change with them, and things will change with me. For me, they will change for the better because I cant get much lower than I have been.....Thank you so much for your support everyone..