DN Posted March 18, 2010 Share Posted March 18, 2010 I am sure if you were a male who was saying that he doesn't want to date women with kids, that it would be no problem. It's just double standards. Stick to what you know you want.As it happens I have seen men lambasted on here and on talk shows for saying that. On one talk show the female host said "Men like that are selfish - I would have thought that a man would be happy to have a ready-made family". People should be free to make their own choices - but then they should not complain if they don't want to date someone with kids only to find themselves a single parent sometime in the future and that no one wants to date them because of the children. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
newwave Posted March 20, 2010 Author Share Posted March 20, 2010 Well, if I am a single parent in the future, then I'd expect at that point to date other single parents. However, I am not. Btw, this isn't a no accross the board. For instance if I met a single dad who was a dad through adoption I'd have no problem with this. After all, there's no mom in the picture and the kid isn't his. Also, I'd date a guy raising nieces/nephews, etc. Those are different situations than the exwife ones. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rob1000 Posted March 20, 2010 Share Posted March 20, 2010 I'm exactly the same. I wont date girls with kids. My older brother did and he was miserable. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ms Darcy Posted March 20, 2010 Share Posted March 20, 2010 I'm exactly the same. I wont date girls with kids. My older brother did and he was miserable. Out of curiosity, why not? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rob1000 Posted March 20, 2010 Share Posted March 20, 2010 Out of curiosity, why not?As much as I love kids, I'd rather start a family from the beginning. Plus my brother was so miserable in his relationship. He wanted to have kids of his own, but his g/f didn't want any more of her own. So he had to make do with was handed to him or leave it. So he left it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
newwave Posted March 20, 2010 Author Share Posted March 20, 2010 As much as I love kids, I'd rather start a family from the beginning. Plus my brother was so miserable in his relationship. He wanted to have kids of his own, but his g/f didn't want any more of her own. So he had to make do with was handed to him or leave it. So he left it. That's a complaint I've heard from guys. I know as a woman, many of the guys I met with kids didn't want more, but they were more likely than a woman. Obviously it's different for women since they are the ones giving birth so they are more likely to say no. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
petite Posted March 20, 2010 Share Posted March 20, 2010 I completely agree with you, I wouldn't date a man with kids either. In my opinion and for me at least it would be wasting his and my time because I couldn't see a potential for anything there and the baggage that comes along with having kids is not something I want to deal with. I don't think you are selfish at all. You know what you want so seek it. You don't owe anyone any explanations and you're free to state your opinion as long as it's in a polite and respectable manner. Who doesn't like your opinion can easily click X. I want to have kids with my partner and have us both experience it for the first time. The way I see it as, he has experienced his first child with another woman so whatever we learn wont be a new experience for him. He wont ever have a first child with me, first steps, words, teething wont be anything new and the excitement that comes with the first born is something you experience only once in a life time. I LOVE kids, I have nephews and a niece who I adore. Friends and family members kids and they love me, I enjoy spending time with them but I wouldn't want t be a stepmother. I don't need drama that comes with somebody else's children and their mothers. To put it simply, I want a family of my own not a joined family. That also means, I wouldn't date someone who has grown up kids. I just don't want that and I make no excuses for it. It' my opinion and my right to do as I will with my life as it is yours. Don't beat yourself up for it. Do what makes YOU happy and not what others will think makes you a nice person. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
newwave Posted March 20, 2010 Author Share Posted March 20, 2010 Yeah, part of it is I want to experience the "first" parts like you mentioned. A first child is always going to be special. I too don't want to be part of a blended family. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brightest Dark Posted March 21, 2010 Share Posted March 21, 2010 I'm also someone who doesn't want anyone with kids. I'm not a kid person. I'd rather have dogs or something. That said I've never met/gotten to know anyone that I've been attracted to that had kids. Maybe if I did, then it'd be more awkward. I'm just not a kid person at all. I'd rather stay single I think than actually be in a relationship with someone with a kid. Ignore the people who judge you. It's up to you how you live your life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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