Is my friend Gay?

[Graydragingon]

I have this friend that is very odd. Well we have been friends for a little over a year now and he has not once, came on to me. Not once. Now all the guys that I know have. Also I have never had a conversation with another male about tampons, or Menstrual cramps. But with this guy I have. I don't know how it got there but the other men I know as soon as you mention a tampon they don't want to hear another word. Well one of the many things that makes me thing he is gay is that when talking to me, well in fact I have never caught him looking at my breasts, never. I think the only part I have caught him looking at was my eyes. Very odd guy hu? Well I can't decide if he is gay or not because he talks and acts like a normal person, but he dose not in many ways. In the time that I have known him he has never had a romantic partner. He has many girls that are his friends; I know that he has many more girls that are friends than guys. When I complain to him how guys are such but head because all they want in to be in my pants, he agrees with me. . I would ask him but I don't want to jeopardize our friendship. He is an excellent friend, always there for me and understanding. But I don't know. So from what I have described of him do you think he is gay or am I just misinterpreting him.

Pleas help me I don't know what to think

[Mandoro]

At our school we do have a gay male. So I might know something

 

Reading your post I found three things I may believe to prove you true. You woman problems, his no-breast peeking, and that he has more friends that are girls then guys.

 

It is true, us guys dont talk about womans problems, the ones you stated. That was one flag that went up.

 

If your boobs are big and luscious and he doesnt look this can be a possibility. I know I look at all I can.

Ya may hate me fer sayin that by im stating what I see.

 

Finally, as I see with the gay male at our school he does in fact have more friends that are girls then guys and of course he talks gay.

 

All in all I would say he is, but I dont know.

[Alabama]

I personally think you are misinterpreting this whole thing. It doesn't sound like your friend is gay. It does sound that he is very non-perverted, and that's good. I myself am the same way. Trust me, your friend is not a homosexual.

[tiger_lilies]

First of all, do you have any gay friends?

 

Secondly, just because a guy doens't stare at your breasts when he talks to you doesn't mean hes' gay.

 

Thirdly,

Well I can’t decide if he is gay or not because he talks and acts like a normal person

Gay people don't talk or act like non-normal people.

 

Your post can be taken as being very offending and I'm not even gay myself! What you need to do is stop wondering if your friend is gay. If YOU are a true friend, then YOU should ask him in a nice manner. And IF he is gay, then hopefully you won't be as offending to him as you are with your post!

[thePuma]

I bet he is not gay.

 

Alabama pointed the obvious.

But I would add that he can be a pervert and have a good heart: he just doesn't want women to feel bad around him.

OR, he's just a very sensitive guy, who enjoys women in a very reserved way, but isn't lucky enough to find other women who enjoys him in a different way other than as a friend. You and all of his female friends are a good example of these women.

 

tiger_lilies gave the reality slap.

To be gay one must have a sexual preference for people of the same gender as you. One must find a person of the same gender erotically attractive.

SO, talking the girls talk does not qualify him has a gay, unless you hear him say "Gosh I want to have sex with that guy!", he is not gay.

[im_not_jose]

i wouldnt worry too much about it.

 

chances are that he might be gay, chances are that he might not. speaking on my behalf, i have no problems talking about more delicate female issues, but thats because i like to be openminded and i had 2 sisters and i come from a fairly open family. plus, when you've had a girlfriend for a long time, you eventually end up knowing every single detail about the other person.

 

also, I dont consider my self to be a machoish person. I dont really fit in with many of the typical male stereotypes and sometimes i can be rather emotional or sensitive or what not. but gay i am not. i can imagine nothing more perfect than having a gorgeous girl pressing her naked body against me and looking into my eyes with wanting... *ahem* anyways. my point is, there could be any number of reasons he is the way he is. for example, some people find it hard to believe that a guy and a girl can have a completely platonic relationship, but i have this with a few girls. ive never fancied them in that way and i dont want to have sex with just anyone that has two legs, if you know what i mean.

 

peopel come in all shapes and sizes, but at the end of the day, does it really matter if he's gay or not?

[Graydragingon]

Thanks for all your advice, I have considered all that all that you had said and I have decided to ask him. Well I was amazed by how well he toke it. I asked him if he was gay, plain and simple. He smiled and said "Don't worry, I am not offended and you are not the first to ask, I was actually starting to wonder when you would ask." Well I was worrying and I thought that I was the first to ask. Gosh I still don't know how he is so in tuned like that. Some times I wonder if he can read minds. Oops, a bit off topic but, well anyway. Then he told me "Well nope I am not gay, I am as straight as a laser beam." There was a pause and she said, "you are wondering why, yes?" well I was wondering the question that I asked all of you. So I asked him. them

 

Why have you never came on to me?

"I have never came on to you because you have never gave me any indication that you wonted me to"

 

Why did you stay when I talked about tampons and menstrual cramps?

"well to be frank, you are the one that started the conversation, I will talk about any thing that the person I am talking with bring up"

 

Why have you never looked at my breasts?

"ah yes, this might shock you a bit, but I know there is so much more to a woman than her breasts, or any one. See the eyes are the windows to the sole and the un-conscious. They are all that I need to look at."

 

Why haven't you ever dated some one?

"ha, this you should know, I just haven't found the right person yet, plus with school "

 

How come you think that most guys are stupid in the way they act.

"ha, ha, Well most of them are now aren't they?"

 

That is about what he said anyway, You all were right I shouldn't have even though things like that, guess just one of those dumb moments. Just though I should keep you informed But thanks again for your advice, I think I will be using this forum more often.

[thePuma]

I bet he is not gay.

YES! I WON! I won! er.. nevermind.

 

Just though I should keep you informed.

THANK YOU! THANK YOU!

For those who keep trying to understand human beings, re-feedback from the requester, like the one you just gave, is awesome! Thank you!

[im_not_jose]

thanks for the feedback. it really goes to show, there are actually nice guys out there who are decent people. You know that stereotype about the perfect boyfriend being gay, thats all rubbish, as you now know first hand. Just that nice people tend to be overlooked for the very same reasons that makes them nice people.

 

but it is true, quite a lot of guys, how many I dont know, are jerks. i had a first hand experience tonight of seeing this big dude crack the skull of some innocent guy against the wall, while i was waiting for some friends... because he "looked at his girlfriend"... what kind of girl would actually be attracted to someone like that escapes me completely... heh

 

*sigh*

 

 

 

i hope that other guy is alright.

[camille714]

hooray

[dumb_blond]

Hey I have the same thing about a guy I know. I have liked this guy for a very long time almost a year and well this weekend his friend which i am really good friends with invited him to come out with us for the weekend so I can get to know the guy a little more. He doesn't look like he is gay or anything but what he said for an answer was kind of odd. I was wondering if you had an opinion about this answer. He said "He wasn't the ladies type" What can that mean. I have ask many people that I know and they say it can mean he is gay or he just freezes around women. What do you think it could mean? And if you had a guy you really like say that what would you do????? Also I would like to know if he is gay how I might be able to get him to switch teams. No offense to anyone but I really like this guy. What is your opinion about this.

[im_not_jose]

hehehe, bless your enthusiasm.

 

well, here are my two cents worth, but his response does well fit in with the kind of polite response a gay person would give in such a situation. of course, you never quite know. but if he is gay, then i doubt there's anything you could ever do to make him straight. its like asking a lion to be vegetarian. unless he is quite a confused individual or bi-sexual, you dont suddenly become gay and stop being gay.either you are sexually attracted to women or you arent and are gay. being bi allows you to be both, in which case he probably wouldnt have turned your offer down like that.

 

buuut, you never know. they say the way to a mans heart is through his stomach. invite him over for dinner sometimes and feed him well and a little flirt. if that doesnt loosen him up a bit, i dont know what will apart from a sex change