Uh-Oh Ex planning to make me a "friend" again

[Time2Shine]

Hey guys,

 

If you guys want to know my background story you could just look up the threads by TooLateTooGone. I have moved to this name because the previous was too negative.

 

Anyways. My roommate who is great friends with my ex has informed me that my ex plans to try to be friends with me again. I don't know what to do about this. Yes I've been on NC for 12 days now, Yes Not Even Two Weeks!, and she just returned from a trip away.

 

The problem is that I don't want to be friends with her. I know what I want. It is a reconciliation with her and a move towards getting back together. I really don't think I can be friends with her because a lot of questions were left unasked and a lot of things left unsaid. I really don't think I can look at her without thinking about these things.

 

So what do I do? If I tell her I can't be friends does this end all chances with her? What If I say no and she no longer speaks with me thereby killing all chances of us getting back together. I hate the idea of losing her forever and although I am happier and better today...I kinda only want to share that with her and no one else.

[minou]

I tried to find your previous threads, but I couldn't. Maybe the system can't find them after you delete the name?

 

Hard to know since I don't know the context of your situation. However, one thing's for sure. There's no reason to hurry. At this point, it's just hearsay. If she does approach you, at the very least you can say you want a few weeks to think about it.

 

On the other hand, if she wants to be friends because she misses you already, it might be better to keep having her miss you. You could say, maybe in the future, right now my feelings are still too strong. This way she would be left with wondering if your feelings will fade over time and whether or not she wants to risk that, as potential feelings of missing you keep mounting.

[iBroken]

If she tries to come back for the purpose of a friendship, you need to stand your ground with her and tell her that you are not interested in a friendship.

 

Its possible that you might lose her yes, especially if she is certain she doesnt want to go back to the relationship however, I personally would rather know this then have her around as a "friend" and a constant reminder of the past and what couldnt be.

[jimmajam]

If she tries to come back for the purpose of a friendship, you need to stand your ground with her and tell her that you are not interested in a friendship.

 

Its possible that you might lose her yes, especially if she is certain she doesnt want to go back to the relationship however, I personally would rather know this then have her around as a "friend" and a constant reminder of the past and what couldnt be.

 

Agree. You know what you want, you just told us, now let it be known. You don't have to be mean, bitter or upset about it. Just like with anyone else, if you don't want to be friends, you don't do it. If you're not comfortable with being JUST friends, then tell her that and let it be until you both move on, she decides she wants more or you decide friends is okay.