lonely rose Posted March 4, 2010 Share Posted March 4, 2010 I watched the Notebook a couple of days ago and I cried for almost the entire second half of the movie. I am not sure which moved me more—the beautiful love story, or the sadness that I will probably never experience love as great as the one the two main characters shared. I wonder if anyone thinks that love back in the time was greater—more pure, more real… I used to be a hopeless romantic. Now I am a realist. Love is just a perception of what we believe it should be. Most of us put love on a pedestal and how can anything human be even a second close to what our ideal love should be? We live day by day waiting for some miracle to happen: waiting for someone to sweep us off our feet… Do we potentially dismiss many good opportunities on our quest for love? Do people in the end settle for anyone just because it is a better alternative than ending up alone…Do they have regrets about someone they let go just because they were not ready to commit, because they thought there must be someone better out there but ended up with someone who’s not even close to what they had before, but time was ticking… I read somewhere that a woman settles down when she meets Mr.Right and a man settles down with the woman he’s dating when he decides he’s ready to do so. Not sure how much I agree with that, but I do think there is some truth to it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whes Posted March 4, 2010 Share Posted March 4, 2010 I think people were more willing to take risks. Life was harder so putting yourself out there wasn't as scary. Now if we have problems, they've got a pill (or an app) for it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maverick32x Posted March 4, 2010 Share Posted March 4, 2010 I always fear that I'll 'settle' for something thats not really what I imagine "love" to be like... But then again, I'm not sure what "love" even is anymore... Going through life, I've become a realist much like yourself... I used to approach love very romantically and used to love the idea of sweeping some girl off her feet and waking up with someone I truly cared unconditionally about... now I realize that'll probably never happen.... people are heartless and cruel.... and on an unrelated note.. I feel like everyone cheats in their relationships!!! it blows my mind... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cognitive_Canine Posted March 4, 2010 Share Posted March 4, 2010 I'll never settle and I don't believe I have to. While I haven't seen "The Notebook", I can honestly say that I dislike most romance films. I have no jealousy for the main characters. That's not love...it's romance...it's rather one-sided affection....and it's, most of the time, based on something shallow. Love at first sight? You barely know each other, yeah, that's deep. I'd rather have a love that took effort on BOTH ends, some not so flattering moments met with "I really don't care that you're throwing up and crying...you're still you", and a lot of doing a lot of hard things to keep it together. Giving everything you have for someone you barely know isn't love...it's being desperate and somewhat crazy. It's not knowing someone and just putting everything out there for some fantasy that you've conjured up. Real love takes time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tastytoothpaste Posted March 4, 2010 Share Posted March 4, 2010 Love is a verb, not a noun. It's not something that falls in your lap. It's not butterflies, it's not a knight on a white horse, it's not "happily ever after." Love is not perfection, love is not flawless, and love is most definitely not a movie. It was no more like a movie in the old days than it is now. Love is something to be earned. Love is respect, it is commitment, and it is honor. It's loyalty, trust, sharing, and learning. It is not always perfect, and there is no romantic music playing in the background in real life moments of love. Love is the giving of oneself to another, and it's not always easy. In fact, it's rarely ever easy. People in love still make mistakes, they still mess up, and they still make each other cry. The beauty in real life love that's not in the movies is that after a man accidentally makes his wife cry because he told her he's not sexually attracted to her now that she gained 50 lbs is that he'll still be there with her at the end of the day to apologize for hurting her feelings, and to be her partner in life, and never stray, even when she does have two asses. Love is fighting and being strong enough to say, "we're having a lot of problems, and I think we need a marriage counselor to help us through this, because I love you too much to ever throw it away." In my opinion, movies have taken away from what true love is. The movie Love Story is famous for the line, "Love means never having to say you're sorry." To me, that statement cheapens the very spirit of love. In true love, a man or woman is humble enough to apologize for screwing up and wanting to make things better. In my opinion, love means saying you're sorry very often. Love is, after all, not a perfect, pretty, cherry-on-top finished result--it's always a work in progress. Edit: And I'd like to add that The Notebook was MADE to make you cry. That's the point of it. A movie showing a real life account of love and a couple making it through everyday obstacles to make a relationship work wouldn't make a gross total of $115,603,229. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rebel-D Posted March 4, 2010 Share Posted March 4, 2010 I'll never settle and I don't believe I have to. While I haven't seen "The Notebook", I can honestly say that I dislike most romance films. I have no jealousy for the main characters. That's not love...it's romance...it's rather one-sided affection....and it's, most of the time, based on something shallow. Love at first sight? You barely know each other, yeah, that's deep. I'd rather have a love that took effort on BOTH ends, some not so flattering moments met with "I really don't care that you're throwing up and crying...you're still you", and a lot of doing a lot of hard things to keep it together. Giving everything you have for someone you barely know isn't love...it's being desperate and somewhat crazy. It's not knowing someone and just putting everything out there for some fantasy that you've conjured up. Real love takes time. The Notebook is a love story, not a romance. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lonely rose Posted March 4, 2010 Author Share Posted March 4, 2010 [ I feel like everyone cheats in their relationships!!! it blows my mind... I've never cheated, but know people who had including a girl you would never expect to do something like that...So I don't know what to say. I read somewhere women were more afraid of their partners having an emotional affair, while men were more afraid of women cheating on them. I think a lot of women somehow know that it is hard for men to be faithful and are more scared of losing them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cognitive_Canine Posted March 4, 2010 Share Posted March 4, 2010 The Notebook is a love story, not a romance. Love story...romance...pretty much the same thing in my book. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrsDavies Posted March 5, 2010 Share Posted March 5, 2010 I have seen The Notebook and that is a poor thing to base your perception of what true love is. There is music and perfect screenshots from perfect angles, and the characters decisions are perfectly made to make you sit on the edge of your seat for a couple hours and earn the producer big bucks. Real love exists today as strongly as it did back then, but what makes love real is the willingness of partners to sacrifice for each other and help each other become the best person they can be. That isn't lost, but it takes a lot of work and there are probably a lot more lazy people in the world today than there was 'back in the day'. But true love still exists. My grandparents have it...they celebrated their 61st wedding anniversary this year and have been each other's eyes and ears for the last decade. Literally. Grandma's blind, Grandpa's deaf. My parents are still going strong after 31 years of marriage. They work hard together to maintain a home where my grandparents live and my sister and her children live. The key is not in the romantically climaxing moments...life doesn't have a soundtrack...but in the day to day drudgery and hard work. My husband and I are working on our true love. We love each other passionately for sure, but the love that lasts is the love that works (together, of course). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rebel-D Posted March 8, 2010 Share Posted March 8, 2010 Love story...romance...pretty much the same thing in my book. So then your comment doesn't make much sense: "While I haven't seen "The Notebook", I can honestly say that I dislike most romance films. I have no jealousy for the main characters. That's not love...it's romance...it's rather one-sided affection....and it's, most of the time, based on something shallow." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cognitive_Canine Posted March 8, 2010 Share Posted March 8, 2010 So then your comment doesn't make much sense: "While I haven't seen "The Notebook", I can honestly say that I dislike most romance films. I have no jealousy for the main characters. That's not love...it's romance...it's rather one-sided affection....and it's, most of the time, based on something shallow." Whether it calls itself a love story or a romance, the films do not correctly portray love. They portray infatuation and delusion. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Juxtapoz Posted March 9, 2010 Share Posted March 9, 2010 The Notebook is a bad film to watch if you're single and eager to meet someone. But I think it is possible to have something like the couple from the film, with their personal circumstances replaced with your own. I was a hopeless romantic in my teens, then a cynic for most of my 20's, then began to turn it around again in the past 6 months when I realized there's nothing wrong with BEING a hopeless romantic and making the endeavors. What matters is having someone who accepts these things and returns the favor. (and that's also the hard part!) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rebel-D Posted March 9, 2010 Share Posted March 9, 2010 Whether it calls itself a love story or a romance, the films do not correctly portray love. They portray infatuation and delusion. Wow, a 60 year infatuation. Really, it's nothing like the films that have the lead characters in love within days. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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