I give up ...

[poetic_tragedy]

So I really believe that I am going crazy. For the past two weeks, my panic attacks have come back, and full-fledged at that. The doctor gave me Valium for them and that's what I was addicted to before ... great.

I cut again last night and I'm probably going to here again in a few minutes. I hate this feeling that everything is wrong and nothing is right. When really, I have everything in this world going for me. And everything used to be okay, it really wasn't that long ago. I seem to have been going downhill for a while now and I feel like I'm getting ready to hit rock bottom. And my rock bottom is not a good place to be. I don't understand what the f*ck is wrong with me.

I am seriously contemplating suicide right now. I don't think that I would actually have the courage to do it, but it's constantly on my mind. It never goes away and it's all I can think about.

Am I going insane? Should I check myself into a hospital again? I can't really afford to do that ... money or time. I just don't know what to do anymore. I give up ...

[Jeen]

 

 

You may be suffering from withdrawal symptoms, best would be to talk to your doctor about this sow he/she can see what they can do to help you past this.

 

You are just moving from one addiction to another one, you do need therapy to find the reason you do self-harm sow it can be treated.

[No One]

I completely sympathize with you!

 

Does your doctor know about the past addiction? He or she may have ot change your prescription. Part of your problems may be connected with using medication that is wrong for you.

 

Insane is a strong word, often misused. You certainly may be in a deepening depression; quite unlikely to improve on its own (you will lose ALL of your money and time if you were to kill yourself!). U R telling everyone, here, that you can't handle it (that is factual, not judgmental), so, yes, u know that u need to get help. The proper help would help u to feel better!

[luckyu]

About the cutting and checking in. First off DONT cut, do something not that bad. Like what i found helpful for when i couldn't cut was holding an ice cube in my hand. it gives the needed pain and leaves no marks but everyone varies so if that don't exactly work get your hand wet in your palm and pour a little salt in your hand then hold the ice cube. and you need help (don't mean that in a mean way) but you even know just by saying your close to rock bottom so i would go see a counselor or check yourself in to a place. you may not have it money wise so if you don't talk to a close family member or friend to help you with it. Its better to get help now and be good later in life even if u loose out on money the to have rock bottom hit later.