metrogirl Posted September 22, 2013 Author Share Posted September 22, 2013 Spent the weekend celebrating birthdays. Took my grandson to the county fair on Thursday after school. It was my birthday that day, his birthday the next day. Just the two of us, we had a blast. I went with plenty of money in case he had any plans of draining the bank account. LOL I was pretty exhausted the next morning, I still had to take Jesse to the doctor for his appointment. Everything went well, he has zero swelling at the exit site and is feeling much better. He won't have to have his catheter removed because we treated the infection aggressively. That is all I could have asked for really. I didn't want to see him endure another surgery to remove it and then yet another surgery to place a new one. I'm happy, God is good. I didn't get my grandbabies this weekend like I normally do, I wasn't feeling well. I think all that walking around at the fair did me in, I have never felt more exhausted. I had a bad headache yesterday too, not sure if it was a migraine or something with my sinuses but my left eye was tearing the entire day. I feel alright today though, I'm at work and actually getting work done while watching football in my office. Gotta love Sundays at work. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
redrose85 Posted September 23, 2013 Share Posted September 23, 2013 Take care of yourself, Met. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
metrogirl Posted September 23, 2013 Author Share Posted September 23, 2013 I presume it's normal to dream about having sex with others? I woke up this morning having had a dream that I was engaging in some passionate sex with the quarterback of my football team. I typically don't dream about sex with others and on the rare occasion I do, it's with someone I'm not familiar with. I think it has to do the lack of sex that we have. I was feeling unusually aroused yesterday and well he wasn't in the mood which I understand, he's been sick. It just sucks horribly because more times than not, I'm left feeling unsatisfied. I won't cheat on him, the thought has never entered my mind, just feeling blah today. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
redrose85 Posted September 23, 2013 Share Posted September 23, 2013 I bet it's normal if you're feeling deprived or just more in the mood than usual. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
metrogirl Posted September 23, 2013 Author Share Posted September 23, 2013 I bet it's normal if you're feeling deprived or just more in the mood than usual. Deprived, definitely. I read threads here on the forum where people talk about how they did it like bunnies and now they only get it once a week and I think, holy hell I would be content with once a week. I'm lucky to get it once every few months. I miss intimacy with him. I think that is what I need right now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted September 23, 2013 Share Posted September 23, 2013 Yeah, it's completely normal Mama. I've had a few dreams like that when L and I were long distance. Is there anything you guys could do other than sex to help you feel intimate to him? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dangletsbang Posted September 23, 2013 Share Posted September 23, 2013 It's so hard being with someone who has medical issues. Especially vascular issues. I'm sorry, met. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
metrogirl Posted September 23, 2013 Author Share Posted September 23, 2013 I don't know that we could do anything else really. I mean we spend lots of time together now because I have to be at his house daily to mix the antibiotics with his dialysis stuff. So we spend time together, we talk and we joke. We eat together and on the weekends watch football which is our thing but like yesterday, I just wanted so badly for him and have some 'time' together but he was wasn't feeling it. On the rare occasion that he is feeling it, I'm usually on my cycle. The transplant social worker did tell me that transplants usually help the person to feel much better and things that didn't work well previously, start working again so all I can really do is hope that by some small miracle I get the clearance I need from my doctors (appointment on Wednesday) so we can get the transplant stuff going and maybe just maybe things will get better next year. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
metrogirl Posted September 24, 2013 Author Share Posted September 24, 2013 I'm just getting increasingly annoyed with my car. My brakes makes this squeaking noise, I have already had the fronts done twice and the backs done yesterday. The back brakes were making a loud squeal which was taken care of yesterday when the pads got changed. The fronts however continue to make noise and I feel bad for my son because he is the one that has taken the car apart several times in an attempt to diagnose the problem and fix it. He said he will give it another go this weekend, he needs a break from my car. LOL Speaking of my son, I didn't realize that he graduates this December from his diesel technology class. His current instructor was a master mechanic leader where I work so I know he's learning from the best in the field. When the students graduate they are offered positions at various transit companies and trucking companies. He was leaning towards going into the trucking industry because their engines are all diesel, tranist buses mostly use CNG which he hasn't worked on but mechanics adapt to them with relative ease so now he feels ok going into public transit. The pay and benefits are great so no doubt he will be one of the youngest making really good money here. Fingers crossed He Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
metrogirl Posted September 26, 2013 Author Share Posted September 26, 2013 My appointment with the breast specialist yesterday was quick. The cyst that I had apparently drained itsself and the doctor couldn't feel any of the smaller ones. He is referring me for another ultrasound where they will drain the smaller ones they see on ultrasound and send the fluid to pathogy to test for asymptomatic cells then if everything is good, I should get my clearance. Going to get my nails done today after work, do a little grocery shopping and then pick up my babies tomorrow. I miss my little lovies. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seraphim Posted September 26, 2013 Share Posted September 26, 2013 You are such a wonderful grandma mama!!!! There should be more grandmothers like you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
metrogirl Posted September 28, 2013 Author Share Posted September 28, 2013 You are such a wonderful grandma mama!!!! There should be more grandmothers like you. Aww thank you. I picked up two of my lovies today and I will surprise the other two tomorrow, pick them up and take 4 of them out to Soup Plantation for lunch. Jade loves her veggies, she's already telling me how she is going to put lettuce, cucumbers, and onions on her plate. She's huge onion nut, will bite into them like apples. It's amazing how much my mood changes when I have my babies around. I was calm today, happy even. I had to leave them because I'm doing a graveyard OT shift. Jade was making jewelry when I left and Aidan of course was on my Kindle. Ahhh my loves. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
metrogirl Posted September 29, 2013 Author Share Posted September 29, 2013 My daughter texted me last night and said that her boyfriend (father of the youngest grandbaby) was annoyed that I picked up my grandchildren and took them out to lunch. It's no secret that he gets bitter when my grandbabies go home and they have new stuff or I have spent the weekend out doing stuff with them. I'm very involved with my grandbabies, always have been. He has 3 kids that he has sole legal and physical custody. His mother wants nothing to do with her grandchildren and the maternal grandmother will only take the boy but not the girls. Their biological mother is not in the picture. I feel bad for them, I can't imagine how lonely they must feel sometimes and that's why I do stuff with them too. Sometimes I will take all 8 kids to the movies and lunch. I buy them shoes and clothes, I take them treats. They call me nana just like my grandchildren do. Sometimes it's just not feasable to take all 8 kids out, sometimes I don't have the funds. I don't like to be made to feel like the bad guy for doing for my family. I help her a lot, probably more than I should. Those acts of kindness often go unnoticed by him. Her dryer went out, so I bought her one. It benefits him and his children too because their clothes are getting washed and dried. I have 2 of the grandbabies now and picking up 2 more later because I'm planning on the spending the day with them, even if we just grab a cheap lunch and go to the park. He's probably going to say something about that too. Ugh....whatever. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
metrogirl Posted September 30, 2013 Author Share Posted September 30, 2013 I'm sick. I had a good run though, I have to admit. I hadn't really had any kind of upper respitory issues, cold or flu since I've been taking care of Jesse. I even impressed myself with how long I was able to go without getting sick but alas, all good things have to come to an end I guess. I have the worst sore throat that I have had in a very long time. Very little sleep for me last night, it hurt to swallow. I popped a cough drop in my mouth and was sort of dozing off and on throughout the night. Not smart I know but I was looking for whatever relief I could find. Blah..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
redrose85 Posted September 30, 2013 Share Posted September 30, 2013 Buckley's. It works. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
metrogirl Posted October 2, 2013 Author Share Posted October 2, 2013 What is Buckley's? I don't think I have heard that name before. I was doing okay for the most part yesterday, throat was still a little sore but better than the day before. Today I woke up feeling really dizzy. Not sure if I have an ear infection, that is typically when I get dizzy or if it's because I didn't eat dinner last night. I'm about to eat some breakfast, hopefully that will make me feel better. I'm seriously contemplating leaving the office early today. Gah Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
redrose85 Posted October 3, 2013 Share Posted October 3, 2013 It's a cold medicine... works like a charm. Don't worry about leaving work. It's important to rest. Everyone (well, almost) from my office have taken time off because of this evil cold hybrid. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
metrogirl Posted October 5, 2013 Author Share Posted October 5, 2013 I didn't leave early that day but took the next day off. I can't say I rested as much as I could have but at least I was dying in the office and what am I doing today????..............working 16 hours of overtime. lol I have a bottle of robitussin decongestant on my desk, the supervisor walked in looked at it and said "I see nothing" and walked out. LMAO I feel ok, just tired. I'm only working a double today because I will be off the next two days. I'm supposed to go to a dinner party tomorrow night but I'm just not feeling it. I think I will politely decline and just spend the time with my grandsons. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
metrogirl Posted October 7, 2013 Author Share Posted October 7, 2013 That double kicked my butt. I didn't do anything this weekend except bumming around and watching football. Still feeling tired and a bit congested but not nearly as bad as I felt this time last week. I didn't get to spend the weekend with my eldest grandson. He went to a fall festival on Saturday and then his mother went to a dinner party that evening and forgot to bring him to my house. So i'm going to pick him up after work today and take him out to lunch, spend a few hours with him. I hope he didn't think that I didn't want him this weekend. The thought breaks my heart. I'm eagerly awaiting 2pm so I can get out of here and go get my fella. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
metrogirl Posted October 9, 2013 Author Share Posted October 9, 2013 I need someone's input because I don't know if what I'm feeling is valid or if I'm just hormonal. My daughter and Jesse are really close. He adores her and the children, does so much for them, I feel so blessed to have a boyfriend that loves my family the way he does. Currently we all live close to each other, Jesse and I are about a mile apart while my daughter is down the street from his house. She found a house for rent that has a house in the back and they decided together to rent the place. Neither of them really talked to me about other than my daughter telling me that her and Jesse were going to check it out. At first I didn't put much thought into it. I mean I get that he is lonely and he's sick and sometimes he wants to be around people and I work a lot so it seemed like a good idea but then I started thinking about my role and where I fit in. She'll be there to cook for the family, she washes clothes all the time because of the kids so what's left for me to do? She's a stay at home mom so she will be there during the day if he needs someone to go to the doctor with him. It's like all the things that I typically did for him, he won't need from me anymore. I think what is really bothering me though is that we had a talk I want to say about a year and a half ago about living together. Currently my mom and two of my sons live with me. My mom is 70, on social security. My older boy has some issues so he probably will never be able to live on his own. My youngest son is currently in college and looking for his first job. He's going to graduate in December and should be getting his career going as a heavy duty diesel mechanic. At the time of the conversation he said he didn't want to live with me if he had to share me with my family. I get where he was coming from, I mean I can't say that I would want to live with his extended family but at the same time I hoped that he would understand that the extent of my family is my children, grandchildren and mother. I don't have any other family. There is nowhere for them to go but with me. We talked it over for awhile at that time and I just figured that it was better, he live at his place and I live at mine. I mean it wasn't really going to change anything, we are still a couple and we still love each other. So when I find out that he's willing to move into a house shared with my daughter and the children it just sort of threw me through a loop. My daughter called me today to talk about random stuff and she asked me if I was mad and she apologized and acknowledged that she/they should have talked to me at least to help me feel included. I'm not mad, just hurt I guess. He doesn't understand why I won't talk to him and I guess it's because I don't know how to talk to him. I dont even think he knows that I'm feeling this way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
petite Posted October 9, 2013 Share Posted October 9, 2013 I'm sorry that's really unfair. Personally, I think it is really odd that he doesn't want to live with you because of 'extended' family yet is perfectly fine living in the same yard with your daughter and her children. That's just weird. Secondly, your children aren't 'extended' family they are your family. I think they were both really inconsiderate and I'd be extremely frustrated with both. I really think you should express your disappointment with both and tell them this makes you unhappy. If it were me, I'd ask them to not live in the same yard. I just think it's odd that he wants her and her kids around but doesn't want you, his partner around with your kids. Your mom aside, I understand if he doesn't want to live with her, as many people don't want to live with their in-laws but kids are different, especially the one son you mention. Is it possible for you and Jesse to find a place like that, in which you and he can live together and one of your sons, and then your mom and the other son live in a house in the back? That would make more sense than him and your daughter. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
annie24 Posted October 9, 2013 Share Posted October 9, 2013 family dynamics can be so weird. so, your daughter's house will have an "in law" house in the backyard basically? like a little house where he can be "independent" but still near people? that sounds nice. but of course, i can understand why you're upset he doesn't want to live with you. I kind of get why he wouldn't want to live with your mom and son, but i see that it hurts. sigh... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
annie24 Posted October 9, 2013 Share Posted October 9, 2013 Is it possible for you and Jesse to find a place like that, in which you and he can live together and one of your sons, and then your mom and the other son live in a house in the back? That would make more sense than him and your daughter. yes, that would be better. if it's doable. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
metrogirl Posted October 9, 2013 Author Share Posted October 9, 2013 I suppose anything is possible. We both make good money and I'm sure we could have found something but I guess after our talk long ago, I figured we would just have our own places and continue on the way we had been. I didn't really take into consideration that he would eventually feel lonely and want to be around people. I mean it's not an entirely bad thing, Im just not sure how to feel right now. I do feel relief that someone will be there on the days that he's feeling sicker than usual. I don't know, I have a headache right now. He called and he's frustrated because he knows that something is bothering me but I just dont' want to talk about it at the moment, especially over the phone. Thank you ladies for taking the time to offer your insight. I'm going to get ready for bed because I have to be at work at 6am. I'll see him in the morning but work is not the place to discuss such matters so I will save it for tomorrow sometime after I get off work. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
petite Posted October 9, 2013 Share Posted October 9, 2013 Talk about it when you feel okay and comfortable. You're entitled to feel however you feel, and if you don't like it then you're allowed to express that too. If he tries to press you to talk just tell him "I need space to process everything and I will discuss it when I'm comfortable". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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